#1 Thing NOT to do with your husband if you want to stay married

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I’m talking about taking him to Michael’s Crafts. After going to the gym this morning, I needed wanted to go to Michael’s to look at picture frames (that’s just what I told him, I really wanted to look at everything, and I do mean everything) for a print he brought back from Puerto Rico of an antique map of all the islands. I had the pic with me (as my prop) and he decided he didn’t want to just sit in the car because for some reason or another he believed that I spoke the truth when I said that I just wanted to look AT ONE THING AND ONE THING ONLY. He actually thought that I planned to walk in a craft store and aim for the frames, get the proper size, and depart. Is he living on another planet? Hasn’t being married to me for almost twenty years taught him anything?

First I said,

“Oh, I’m not sure exactly where the picture frames are.”

(Lie)

“How about we look down here?” “That’s obviously not it, but aren’t those Hello Kitty playing cards totes adorbs?”

“Hmm, maybe we should try over there, that looks like it might be…wow, Chirstmas decorations already?”

Shiny objects tend to have an almost hypnotic effect on me.

“What were we in here for again?”

“Right, picture frames…here we go.”

“Oops, sorry, we seem to be in the scrapbooking area, let’s try that other aisle.”

“Oops again, now we’re stuck in the bead area.

OMG, look at that turquoise. Look at the rhinestones.”

“Hey, where d’ja go?”

“No, I had no idea the frames were on the opposite side of the store.”

“What did you say?”

“Do I plan to go up and down every single damn blank blank aisle in this blank blank store?”

“Welllll…to be perfectly honest, YES!!! You can’t really expect me not to; it’s intoxicating in here.”

“I. Am. Not. Your. Girlfriend.”

“I WOULD APPRECIATE IT IF YOU WOULD EITHER GET A PICTURE FRAME OR WALK OUT OF THE STORE. NOW!”

“Geez, don’t have a cow.”

I quickly (and by that I mean leisurely) looked up and down each frame aisle, TWICE, and did not find the one that made me happy, so we left.

Hee hee.

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45 thoughts on “#1 Thing NOT to do with your husband if you want to stay married”

  2. My husband does this to me with a store we have here called Princess Auto – it is like a hardware-ish type place. He says he is only going in there for one thing, and then proceeds to walk up and down every damn aisle. I know exactly how he feels. And I would never do that back to him with say, Winners, or Marshalls, or the thrift store LOL.

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  5. My wife and I are lucky in this arena. When she wants to stock up on scrapbooking supplies at Michaels, I drop her off and go entertain myself at the Best Buy three doors down until she’s finally shopped out. No way do I expect her to get in-’n'-out in two minutes.

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  7. My husband actually LIKES Michael’s! He’s been the one to suggest that we go on more than one occasion. While I’m looking at the jewelry stuff, he’ll take our daughter and look at all the unfinished wood things, then when I’m done he’ll drag ME through the store showing me all the project ideas he found!

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    • You are a very lucky girl!! We went down the unfinished wood aisle too LOL and I was asking him to make a shelf for me for more of my seashells. Tell your husband I applaud him and now I’m gonna tell mine what yours does!

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  10. If you need a break, the Amateur Pianists are performing at the Carlsbad Dove Library at 2:00 this coming Saturday. Jim will be playing, one of eight pianists on the program, and I’m his official page turner. Come see us! It’s free!

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  15. Now, see, mine loves to shop,(I can keep him in Michael’s for a short time, anyway) He usually drives me nuts reading every label 3 times.We are always gone FOREVER when we go shopping together…it is not always as good as it sounds to others, believe me.

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  17. Perhaps someone can answer me this? Shopping with my wife in the supermarket. I stand next to her while she chooses items from the chiller. She takes hours over every item. I fidget and squirm on the spot. She sends me off for eggs, we had passed them earlier.

    I come back – she’s gone. In the time I marched 20 feet to the eggs and backl – she’s gone. I spend the next 10 minutes up and down every aisle looking for her. When I do find her, she slows down again. The trolly has a dozen new items in it. How does that work then?

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    • hah! You’ll have to let the captain answer that one when he gets back. It happens just like that to us. He says, “where did you go?” and it takes us hours to choose anything cos we have a lot to think about, stuff you guys just wouldn’t understand. In fact. my hubs told me i should write a post about it! thanks for reading.

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      • Oh,I’m not known at all as a ‘swinger’ but at least, for shopping’s sake, Bill here and I should spouse-swap! It’s my husband that spends FOR-EV-ER on every item, reading and re-reading labels;(forget getting him into the automotive section to pick up gas additive! aaaaaaagggggghhhhh!). I’ll say,”Look,I can’t just stand here any longer, pick me up right down there at….” (children’s, the meat dept., lingerie, depending on the store we’re in). He either never leaves the original area while I wait and wait there;I could have shopped, (yes, shopped,not just picked up items, SHOPPED), in more than one area, but I could not leave for fear of losing him.Or I will double back only to see that he left, and is looking for me everywhere but where I told him I would be:”I didn’t hear you”. No, I guess not;he was too engrossed in the difference between natural peanut butter that is pre-stirred or the one you have to mix yourself.The fate on the universe must hinge on such a decision!

      • I am such a control freak that I try to do all the food shopping when he’s not around. Once a captain, always a captain, and he likes to navigate the cart and I HATE THAT! If I have to go somewhere I hate with him, like your auto parts or Home Depot, I bring a book. I can read anywhere and it’s a marriage life saver, for sure! Thanks for commenting, I had a real problem with my newest post, I have NO idea what happened, but I think I got it straightened out.

        On Mon, Dec 10, 2012 at 8:13 AM, Enchanted Seashells…Confessions of a Tugbo

  18. The very best stores for couples seem to be the ones with “husband” chairs near the dressing rooms. Too bad Michael’s & Hobby Lobby don’t sell clothes!

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    • That’s a great idea. I think Michaels and those other stores would surely benefit! We could set them down in one spot and shop unencumbered!. Thanks for sharing a great suggestion.

      On Mon, Dec 10, 2012 at 4:21 PM, Enchanted Seashells…Confessions of a Tugbo

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      • Stores need ‘wife chairs’ in automotive/sporting goods, etc. Thank God for chairs in Barnes and Noble; I mean ,I am a book-fiend; I am a book-hoarder, but I cannot get the husband out of that store until it closes…at 11…and we are out-of-town because this place doesn’t have one.

  19. Ha! I just tool the Hubs there (to pick up a framing order for HIM) but I was kind enough to leave him in the car. Aaaaand having a one year old in the back seat as well as dinner approaching didn’t give me much of a choice other than to get in and get out. That’s sort of a Christmas present in and of itself ;)

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