The Mission, Part Two: I swear I am NOT bribing my husband to buy me a Chanel handbag, honest.

I dragged my tired, feverish, achy body out of bed to do the laundry and fulfill all my wifely duties. I filled the tub with water, brought in a few rocks from the yard…too much? Well, I did cart the heavy basket of wet clothes outside to hang up. When we’re having weather like this, it’d be a shame not to use Mother Nature’s power to dry and sanitize clothes! Don’t you think polka sheets are tres cool?

I’m being the best wife ever and not complaining, (well, not too much) about watching the World Series.  I’m surprised I even know who’s playing.

“More coffee, honey?” “How about your dressing gown, shall I bring it?” “Let me just slide your slippers on your feet.” Again, too much, huh? Well, I’ve been on the sofa watching Father Knows Best and Leave it to Beaver   for the part of the day that I wasn’t baking and cleaning–on my knees, scrubbing the floor with a toothbrush, and, OK, OK, I know when to stop.

Who Am I?

Sometimes I feel like I’m part I Love Lucy, part That Girl “Oh, Donald!” part Erica Kane from All My Children, and part Blair Waldorf minus the Upper East Side penthouse, private school education, and money.  Oh, and part Jess from New Girl.

Hmmm. If those are my female role models, I can see why people my son sometimes accuse(s) me of living in a fantasy world. OK, at least I don’t identify with Honey Boo Boo Child! In my defense, I was at one time an aspiring dramatic actor. It’s a part of me, once an actress, always an actress, with the same tools of the trade. I say that I’m a famous undiscovered actress, and I’m hopeful that it’s not too late for me. But since I never audition for anything and don’t have current pix or even an agent,  that’s probably not going to happen; I do realize that. I am not totally delusional. A certain percentage of delusional is all I’ll admit to. Math is not my strong suit.

A Halloween Party!

This is the first Halloween the captain has been home in two years. One of his academy buddies is hosting a Halloween party and we’ve been toying with the idea of dressing up, which we never do. Our choices include Frankenstein and Bride of Frankenstein, Captain and Tenille, the Skipper and MaryAnn, or Ginger and Fred Astaire ‘cos we love to swing dance. Right now we’re leaning toward the Frankenstein/Bride theme. I’ll take pix when we’ve made a decision.

My Former Life

I was cast as a streetwalker in a Marty Feldman film that was shot in San Diego a looonnnggg time ago; that was a good look for me, too. In fact, I was so convincing that I got propositioned for real! Good times. Hmmm. I was also cast as a Costa Rican hooker for another film, a made-for-TV movie with Jack Scalia. I had lines that time; “Te gusta, señor?” That translates to “You like, mister?” More good times. In case you were wondering, it was my curly brown locks that caused the casting agents to choose me. Def not in my personal bio. Definitely not.

Although, who knows what one’s price might be….a large Chanel might very well be my tipping point. Only kidding! Gotta hop to it and make the captain his lunch. I might as well stay in character…

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13 thoughts on “The Mission, Part Two: I swear I am NOT bribing my husband to buy me a Chanel handbag, honest.

  1. Captain and Tennile!LOL! (Love the idea of the Kipper and Mary Ann together, too.I never considered it but that would have been a nice match! He was such a teddy bear!)
    I was talking about an actress to my husband the other day,and said she always played a sultry, not-beautiful, but smoldering temptress, but there could be less flattering ways to be type-cast, and I suppose,I could say the same to you!
    I think your sheets look cool…literally. Nice for a warm climate.I’m about to pull out the flannels where I live.

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    • Thank you! If you read my most recent post, you’ll see that I never got to dress up, I was nursing a sort of under the weather husband, but I so appreciate your comments! Oh, I love flannel sheets, but it’s not quite time here, you’re right!

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  2. I can hardly wait to see the pix! And I love “I Love Lucy”. Lucille Ball was the best. And know I know who to cast in TheFurFiles – the reality show. Not sure if you’d want to play me, or someone else.

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    • If you’ve read my recent post, we never went to the party cos I was playing nursemaid to patient! Oh well. In sickness and in health, right? How’s about if we put our heads together and write a screenplay? You play yourself, I’ll play me!

      Like

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