What is marriage all about? Based upon my personal research, experimentation, and analysis, I have the answers to your questions.
This is for all you young’uns who’re on the cusp of searching for a mate or for the older and hopefully wiser female who perhaps wants to dip a toe back into the dating pond.
Do you want a life partner with whom to share your laughs, your tears, your bout with intestinal flu, your pillow and cat-laden bed, and to assist in the breeding of your offspring?
What’s the secret to my long lasting (twenty-two years together, nineteen married) relationship?
The secret is…COMPROMISE.
Not really. I’m only messing with your head.
What works around here is torture and retaliation.
That’s it. Simple. Torture and retaliation.
It works like magic.
Case in point: My tugboat man goes out to sea for quite a while-usually two months or so at at time. When he returns, all he can think about (other than THAT) is surfing. Yes, he’s a big old surfer baby. Right now there are big winter waves pounding our coast.
This is not my captain because he’s not a dick dragger. That is NOT my term. I didn’t think of it but I wish I had. It’s what the young folks call a boogie boarder. Very descriptive, right? Think about it…
This isn’t him, either. He’s not that cute but thank goodness, he’s less hairy.
This isn’t him either, but this is how big the waves were at Sunset Cliffs.
A couple days ago he left at 5:30 a.m. to surf in La Jolla. In case you’re a surfer yourself, waves were mostly six feet with an occasional eight foot set. I was just about on my last nerve with this surf obsesh, so I blocked the driveway with sawhorses and trash cans so he couldn’t pull in the driveway. Hee hee.
He had to get out of his truck, move the obstacles, and then pull in.
After that, I used my wiles to torture him into building four more shelves for my lovely collection of shells and rocks.
And that brings us to today. Sunday. I guess the honeymoon’s over.
I was out in the garage chatting up the hubs about tonight’s dinner menu: freshly baked French bread, Caesar salad with my signature dressing, and thought I’d make some Frico at the same time that I make the croutons. I asked him:
“Have you ever had Frico? Do you know what it is?”
“Yeah, I know what a Frico is, I’m married to one.”
How RUDE. HOW RUDE!
This is Frico, I am not Frico.
I was being the best wife ever; I brought him lunch on a tray while he was working on restoring his rowboat and building yet another shelf (I love shelves, OK?) and THIS is the attitude I have to deal with!? After I brought him a wheatgrass smoothie, fresh pear cut in half and filled with nonfat cottage cheese dusted with cinnamon–
and to make it extra-special, a smiley face out of fresh blueberries–he retaliates with a comment like that? Oh, he’ll pay all right, oh yes he will. We’ll see who’s FREAKY when he takes me to South Coast Plaza tomorrow. We’ll test the limits of his stamina and endurance throughout the huge shopping center. We’ll whet our whistle at one end with Bloomingdales as we march determinedly toward my personal holy grail, (do you hear the trumpets sounding?) as we round the corner to….Chanel–Chanel, the holder of my bliss.
Torture and retaliation-the stuff of which great marriages are made.
Frico, not Freako
- 1 (3-oz) piece Parmigiano-Reggiano
- 1 tablespoon all-purpose flour
- 1/4 teaspoon black pepper
Preheat oven to 375°F.
Using largest holes on a 4-sided grater, coarsely shred enough cheese to measure 1 cup. Line a large baking sheet with nonstick liner. Stir together cheese, flour, and pepper. Arrange tablespoons of cheese 4 inches apart on liner, stirring cheese in bowl between tablespoons to keep flour evenly distributed. Flatten each mound slightly with a metal spatula to form a 3-inch round.Bake frico in middle of oven until golden, about 10 minutes. Cool 2 minutes on sheet on a rack, then carefully transfer each crisp (they are very delicate) with metal spatula to rack to cool completely.
33 years and we still try and finds ways to annoy the other. Works great. Lots of laughs.
Congrats on 33 years, wow, we are just babies at 19!
Torture and retaliation? I need some time to digest and figure out the meaning behind this!
Joking only joking, always joking! (not)
On Sun, Jan 6, 2013 at 8:46 PM, Enchanted Seashells…Confessions of a Tugbo
Great post. I had 16 years with my ex. In my opinion 16 years too long
. So glad that I moved on and love my current relationship which is 8 years next month.
Happy 8!
On Sun, Jan 6, 2013 at 10:30 PM, Enchanted Seashells…Confessions of a Tugbo
Thanks ♥
This only works if your other half has a sense of humor….
That’s the real secret, you found it!
It was quite by accident, I assure you.
On Mon, Jan 7, 2013 at 7:16 AM, Enchanted Seashells…Confessions of a Tugbo
I’m intrigued, madam. Tell me more.
I’ll have to think more about it!
On Mon, Jan 7, 2013 at 7:38 AM, Enchanted Seashells…Confessions of a Tugbo
I’ll be patiently waiting.
Torture, retaliation…sounds about right to me! Good fun.
Karen
who needs compromise when you have t and r?
On Mon, Jan 7, 2013 at 5:31 AM, Enchanted Seashells…Confessions of a Tugbo
This is great.
Thank you!
On Mon, Jan 7, 2013 at 6:06 AM, Enchanted Seashells…Confessions of a Tugbo
Love this! And I know this wasn’t the point of the post, but that dog on the boogie board was so cool!
Sometimes I wish my husband would go away for 2 months at a time… In a good way though. Absence makes the heart grow fonder and all that.
Grew up in Chula Vista / Bonita… Loved to visit the Cliffs. Loved everything about the area! Nice to have found you here.
Yeah, a native! Welcome! Glad you liked the dog pic, I did too! People always say they wish their hubs went away like mine but it’s more difficult than you think, adjusting to being dual after being single, and they just can’t come home if they feel like it, or any reason but a true emergency!
On Mon, Jan 7, 2013 at 8:25 AM, Enchanted Seashells…Confessions of a Tugbo
Yeah, I thought about that after I posted the comment; I hope that didn’t come out as insensitive. My dad was Navy and went out for 6 months at a time. It had a lot more cons than pros, and that adjustment period on both sides isn’t much fun for any party involved.
Oh! What may I call you? Shelly?
Of course I didn’t think you were being insensitive, maybe I need to do another post explaining how it’s always an adjustment when they come back from being deployed or on assignment. 6 months is just too long esp if you have young children. I don’t think this would work if we still had kids at home. as it is, he was in russia when my son got his phd and couldn’t come to the commencement with me so i went with my son’s biodad.
On Mon, Jan 7, 2013 at 8:50 AM, Enchanted Seashells…Confessions of a Tugbo
Not married but my “domestic partner” (because calling him my boyfriend is starting to seem silly and weird) will do things like ignore me so he can do techy computery things and get cranky even though I make him roasts and stews and meaty dishes that I could care less about eating…and then I convince him that we should go to Florida.
Is he domestic or domesticated? ha ha, I am so annoying, I am finishing a post about how annoying I am. So…the way to a man’s heart or the way to Florida really is through his stomach?
On Mon, Jan 7, 2013 at 10:22 AM, Enchanted Seashells…Confessions of a Tugbo
Yes. That is EXACTLY it! Hehehehe
On Mon, Jan 7, 2013 at 3:18 PM, Enchanted Seashells…Confessions of a Tugbo
Another awesome post! Thanks for the big laugh I got at your hubs very courageous (aka stupid?) comment of being married to a Frico! Lordy be. Please keep up these great shares, and yummy recipes. Every visit here gets me charged up! Cheers, Gina
Thank you so much. It’s nice to hear that I’m funny, sometimes I’m not sure…! Oh and he did pay for it, you’ll read about it tomorrow. And I do mean pay. You’re awesome!
I’m just single…maybe one day I’ll paint that toenail and dip it in the pool..in the meantime I’ll just go make some Fricos
Fricos are sooo good, and much less hassle than trying to filter the good fish from the bad…
On Mon, Jan 7, 2013 at 5:00 PM, Enchanted Seashells…Confessions of a Tugbo
Definitely depends on the people
I never did get that marriage thing right….again and again and again and again..well you get the idea but I love my friends and family that have. One thing I noticed in all is that they are best friends. May not always like each other but learn to laugh at themselves (and sometimes each other)!
I agree, I call hubs my best girlfriend. We are pretty funny together!
On Tue, Jan 8, 2013 at 7:06 AM, Enchanted Seashells…Confessions of a Tugbo
We’ve only been together for 6 years (married for 5 years), and we’ve already figured out the pleasures of annoying each other. I think it started in year 3 or 4. Sadly, we use terms like “silly b&tch” instead of “freaky”.
Hubs is not usually so witty, I was surprised by the swiftness of his snarky response, but I admired the skill. I retaliated, don’t you worry about that.
On Tue, Jan 8, 2013 at 10:50 AM, Enchanted Seashells…Confessions of a Tugbo
You’re killing me! I’m not your husband and you’re torturing me! What did I ever do to you???
YOU?? You’re not supposed to be tortured, I’m not married to you, ha ha! What have I done?? Please tell me quick cos you’re mentioned in my post for today and I need to know!! You are part of my storyline for today, don’t tell me I’ve done you harm???!! Girl, NO!
On Wed, Jan 9, 2013 at 1:06 PM, Enchanted Seashells…Confessions of a Tugbo
I meant with this blog,Frico! (Of which I had never heard before this!) This was a riot! Torture and retaliation! Maybe not retaliation to me, but this was torture!
(I’ll have to check out today’s…me? Really? With Hillary, again?LOL!)
You’re in good company with FurFiles and PetitChocolatier. All good, my friend, all good. Right now I have a moment to myself while he’s outside with his rowboat restoration project. We’re supposed to have rain tomorrow so this is an outside day for us. I was doing yardwork.
On Wed, Jan 9, 2013 at 1:54 PM, Enchanted Seashells…Confessions of a Tugbo
I certainly agree about Judy…I will definitely have to meet FurFiles!
Me -16 years together & 12 married later this year. We still natter at each other all the time. When people first get to know us they think we’re arguing. Hubby is fond of saying you can tell when we’re arguing – everything is quiet, it’s the only time we don’t talk!
Exactly! A little witty banter back and forth keeps us on our toes, right? Thanks for stopping by, your blog is super funny!
I just found your blog! love it! My husband and I have been married for a year he is a mate on a tugboat! its nice to hear someone who lives the same type of life as we do! he surfs as well!
Welcome to casa de enchanted seashells and congrats on being newlyweds! A tug guy and a surfer, that sounds awesome! What do you do while he’s away? Does he go to sea for a long time?
Well.. we have a 4 m old baby he takes up most of my time when my hubs is gone! and i get my shop on! He works 3 weeks on and 3 weeks off! its so nice to have the time together when he is home.
How wonderful, you’re a new mom! Never stop shopping, there are treasures to be had!
On Sat, Jan 12, 2013 at 4:41 PM, Enchanted Seashells…Confessions of a Tugbo