All I want for Christmas is you…and a credit card with a high limit.

While I’m hard at work on a new post–or maybe it’s a chapter of my book...please enjoy the musical interlude.

 

It’s a dedication–of sorts–to the physical representation of the disembodied voice of my tugboat man. And while the lyrics might say, “all I want for Christmas is you” and that IS true in an existential way, it’s not the only thing I want for Christmas/Hannukah. Yes, I did get my Chanel Grand Shopper Tote, I mean, I could hardly represent my hood without it. Yo. But now I need the matching wallet. And although the GST is a roomy, serviceable day bag, I still very much need the 2.55 with the gold chain for all of my sparkling evening events. Which right now is zero, but once Tina Fey realizes that I am going to be her most prolific, witty, banter filled writing and producing partner, then I’ll be showing up at all the MAJOR parties. Maybe, just maybe, if I’m very, very good, I’ll be able to negotiate with my tugboat miser man and work out a mutually satisfactory deal, if ya know where I’m going with that. Wink. Wink.

P.S. And if you’re thinking to yourself…well, try this…imagine me imagining you with a thought bubble, “Is she really this shallow?” and maybe you’re getting a bad taste in your mouth about this whole “enchanted” person and her apparent obsession with Chanel and shopping, what if I was just a really good writer–but I’m a seventy-year-old MAN–or what if I was really the mariner, and I’m the one on a tugboat, and I have a scruffy blondish/silvery beard and all the boy parts and this is my secret persona–WHAT THEN, huh? Paradigm shift? Could be, ya never know…

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Best Christmas Decorations EVER-Haters, line up! Yoo hoo, Pinterest, I’m calling you!

I was inspired by other topnotch decorators who so kindly blogged about their DIY Christmas tree masterpieces. In fact, I was so inspired and so thrilled to be stuck here all alone for the millionth time during the holidays that I created a masterpiece of my own, just for you, my loving internet family. So, Cousin Fur and Aunt Cheeky and Second Cousin Far Removed Tracy F for Fantastic, this one’s especially for you guys. As I looked around my house, the elliptical seemed like it had the best “bones” to adorn. Plus, it had a ready-made beverage holder! I didn’t have any Maxi-pads or other feminine hygiene products–’cos THAT ship has sailed–if you know what I mean. {Hey cool, a nautical reference jauntily tossed in. Damn, I’m good!} I added a toilet paper garland, a couple of Sophie Kinsella novels, two glittery seashell ornaments, a bottle of wine in the beverage holder, a white plastic poinsettia, a few EMPTY gift bags, and a festive plush Hello Kitty toy. You can’t really see it very good, but there’s a chocolate bar too, which I luckily don’t have to share with anyone! I’m such a lucky girl! This is the best use I’ve found for the elliptical. Hanging freshly ironed shirts on it is a close second.

Carry on with your day; just take a moment to let it all sink in. Don’t HATE…Emulate.

Decorated for Christmas elliptical decorated elliptical

Starfish

Beautiful starfish surrounded by shells against our turquoise walls. Happy November!

QUICK! Before he gets back from surfing…

What do you think of this idea? Do you think I could pop a squat and take a shower at the same time? I’m all for efficient time management. Thumbs up or thumbs down? The slave driver captain is out for an early morning surf sesh and the idea just popped in my head. I was tasked with the job of cleaning up this hellacious mess so we can start painting. Light bulb came on, potty/shower simultaneously, that’s what I call advanced multi-tasking. Oh crap, he’s home. Gotta go!

Psst. Really cool re-purpose. Pass it on.

I’ve never seen this anywhere so I will take total credit for it unless someone sends me a prior version. Ya know how we have so many makeup brushes and applicators in all shapes and sizes? Well, my organizational-type brain was tired of losing them or having a problem locating what I needed (now that I purchased all that Chanel makeup and want to start wearing it.) So I had a lightbulb moment when I took the cap off my 7Seconds Uniteleave-in conditioner. I thought it would make the perfect receptacle for the smaller applicators. Check it out. Cool, huh? There they are, standing at attention, nice and clean.

I daubed a little Museum Wax on the bottom to help it adhere to the plastic.