Hello? Generic? Too busy to call me, huh? I guess the honeymoon’s over. Geez.
I’ve obviously become a NON-priority to the tugboat man.
In that case, I’ll devote the remainder of this post to my hot boy toy eye candy crushes and wait for my tugboat man to remember he has a wife and call me.
Is that too much to ask? Yes, I know he isn’t just vacationing out there on the high seas and that the work he’s doing, towing a four hundred foot barge loaded with heavy equipment from here to there, might be a TAD distracting…but still, a princess expects certain things from her tugboat man. “Too busy to call?” NOT good, Captain, not good at all.
This is Day 30: These kind of ocean-going assignments have no particular end date. There’s only an approximate date by which he should be relieved by another captain. It’s not like some mariners who are on a fixed rotation of two weeks on and two weeks off. Whether he’s voyaging across the Atlantic (not fun in the winter) or over to Korea, Guam, or even Russia– or south to the Gulf of Mexico, Peru, Uruguay, Brazil, and through the Panama Canal — Africa even — I’m left twisting in the wind, eternally waiting for the return of my tugboat man.
High winds on the high seas — that’s a major cause of a slow down. A tugboat “in tow” (a maritime term) is the definition of danger. There are other factors that contribute to a delayed return like this; crewing issues, additional requests by the contracted company — but it’s all the same to me –no ride to the airport to pick up my BFF.
Done with that rant..time to move on to something positive:
BOY TOY EYE CANDY CRUSHES
I gotta be honest with y’all. I don’t normally notice other men on the street or on the beach — not in the “oh he’s so hot way” — cos really, my captain’s ALL THAT, if you know what I mean, but I have the mostest majorest crush on the ATT guy, you know, the guy in the “It’s Not Complicated” storyline.
His name’s Beck Bennett (is that his real name?)
Click here to read all about him. He’s so funny and slightly snarky at the same time. Just my type…The ad campaign is so delightful and fresh — I wish I had thought of it.
And then there’s Gossip Girl‘s Chace Crawford as Nate Archibald and Ed Westwick, Chuck Bass. I am fully aware these two babies are younger than my son — SO WHAT!
Just look at Chace…he’s looking RIGHT AT ME. I’m so excited, I can hardly stand it!
Ed’s thinking about something I said late last night.
I’d still crush on Johnny Depp if he still looked like this - YUMMY
…but his bad teeth and poor dental hygiene gross me out. Floss, Johnny, FLOSS!
I used to totes luv Brad Pitt, but the way he discarded Jennifer got him crossed off my list. Plus, I heard he doesn’t bathe on a regular basis, so there’s that whole hygiene thing again… well, maybe I’d make an exception if he walked toward me looking like this, right?or this…
My last crush is Max Greenfield — SCHMIDT! — of New Girl.
Best smile, best Jewish boy body on TV. We luvs us some Schmidt!
HEY TUGBOAT MAN, BETTER COME HOME SOON, YA KNOW WHAT I MEAN?
P.S. At one time, my tugboat man looked just a little bit like this, I mean if I squinted, in the dark, with the right lighting. Yup, there’s a definite for real slight resembance of my captain about twenty-five years ago when we met.
(That’s All My Children’s Greg Nelson portrayed by the actor Laurence Lau)
THIS IS AN UPDATE: I forgot to add that I THINK I saw Chace Crawford hiking in Laguna Hills about a year ago, but I was too freaked out to say anything — ME, the big mouth! I don’t have any confirmation it was, but I had a FEELING. I was all like…
“Hey tugboat man, don’t you think that guy with the other guy that just walked by us was that guy I LUV from Gossip Girl?” “Rosebud, I’m not looking.” “No, just look for me, ‘cos I’m not sure but I’m pretty sure.”
“There is no way I’m doing that. YOU go and ask him if you think it is.” “Well, I don’t want to be wrong and if it’s not, I’ll feel like an idiot. Make that an OLD idiot!” Anyway, I really think it was and that’s the end of THAT story. Whoever it was — he was BEAUTIFUL. Sigh.
- Panama Canal Increases Its Tugboat Fleet (worldmaritimenews.com)
- Five TV Shows Made For Girls, That Guys Should Watch (5takeaways.wordpress.com)