Oy Vey, Jon Stewart, You Broke My Heart


And right before Valentine’s Day!


Did you hear the news?

My secret fantasy, the love of my life, my all-time JewCrush, has broken my heart.

I’m verklempt.

OY, the PAIN!

#1 JewMom heartthrob: Jon Stewart.

Jon’s Goodbye

(We profess love for the dreamy Max Greenfield — Schmidt of “New Girl” — however, he’s a bit young for a true midlife fantasy as he’s about the same age of our sons — and there’s something not quite right with that scenario, if you know what I mean.)

Don’t misunderstand —  I have a special place in my heart for my erstwhile tugboat man; after all, we’ve been married for just about twenty-one years, but JON STEWART owns a huge piece of my heart (the Jewish part.)

Those blue eyes, that soupçon of unruly hair that falls rakishly across his forehead, his sort of creepy and girlish giggle — even his UBER hairy hands — no one else measures up.

His wit, his humor, his singular delivery, even his SINGING — I’m fanning myself- what will I do?

How will I survive?

What about NEWS? What about VIEWPOINT?

Don’t worry, hub knows all about how I feel about Jon — he shares the love — and never misses “Your Moment of Zen”.

We trust The Daily Show to deliver the kind of UN-biased news that reflects our perspective, our cynical and mocking attitude toward all that is political…

And he has rescue dogs! Rescue! Dogs!

I’m planning a trip to the east coast to visit Professor Angel Boy; WHAT IF I WAS IN THE AUDIENCE FOR A TAPING OF JON’S SHOW?


That would be totally awesome.


The stuff of dreams, my friends. The stuff of dreams.

Jon’s First Daily Show

My previous posts about Jon Stewart:

Dear Jonathon Stuart Lebowitz

The Real Meaning of Thanksgiving




Dear Jonathan Stuart Leibowitz

Or, as the world knows you, Jon Stewart, lord and master of The Daily Show.

Shabbat Shalom to you, my Jewish prince.

Four nights a week I watch your wit and candor and passion and rage and humor.

Most of the time I agree with you and LOL (laugh out loud) ‘cos you’re so darn funny.

I love most of the skits and sketches and some of the interviews.

To be perfectly honest with you, I fast forward through a lot of interviews (snooze) to get to Your Moment Of Zen.

I’m not writing to boost your ego, get show tickets, or a fake signed picture of you for my bedroom wall (although I wouldn’t turn it down!)

NO, I feel the need to take pen to paper fire up my MacAir to shake my fist at you, Mr. Lee-boh-vitz!

I take umbrage, sir!

Umbrage I take!

How dare you mock the millions of us who are Etsy creators. HOW DARE YOU!

This is a verbatim quote from The Daily Show, January 23, 2013:

“…it’s all–we get it, you have a glue gun, okay!”


Look at it this way–those of us who are Etsy devotees create beautiful and practical items in a much too harsh and ugly world.

I proudly wield my glue gun and embellish as many things possible with seashells, rocks, and beach glass. From toilets to walls to my front door, there’s a seashell wherever you go. Want a mirror surrounded by seashells? I’ve got several to choose from and I’ll give you a great price, you know, us both being Jewish and all. (Come see me after the show.)

This is a call to arms! Glue gun enthusiasts UNITE! We need to organize and hire a lobbyist and storm the White House and Congress and raise awareness for the plight of the glue gunners. We need some appropriations–we NEED laws protecting our right to bear glue guns.

You really hurt my feelings with your scoffing and derision of Etsy. I think you and I need to sit down and glue a few seashells on a picture frame and you’ll see it from a whole different perspective. Whadddya say?

You could make it all better by inviting me to appear on The Daily Show with my glue gun(s) and a selection of my creative wares–and we’re not talking only gluing here–my tugboat captain husband is an expert in marlinspike seamanship. On long journeys across the oceans he weaves magnificent jewelry and covered bottles and picture frames. 

I’m looking at my schedule right now–I’m free just about anytime.
So…I’ll be waiting for your call.

Yours very truly,
Enchanted Seashells, Confessions of a Tugboat Captain’s Wife

The Real Meaning of Thanksgiving. Enjoy!

From one of the funniest blogs out there,  My Life as Lucille, the absolute best quote about Thanksgiving from my secret crush, Jon Stewart.

Thanksgiving Quote
I celebrated Thanksgiving in an old-fashioned way. I invited everyone in my neighborhood to my house, we had an enormous feast, and then I killed them and took their land.~Jon Stewart