Rats and a “What Husbands are Good For” List

I’m a list maker –and not just for the grocery store, either.

I make lists of things to do, things to buy, projects to accomplish, so why not a list of what makes having a husband worthwhile?

The list can change from day-to-day; sometimes there is really no good reason I can think of, ha ha.

big-blue-bunny-logoBut today I was jonesin’ for a Blue Bunny drumstick with chocolate ice cream.

My captain confessed to me that he had enjoyed one on the tug and he knows that is one of my very most favorite desserts to have for a special treat.

It has about 350 totally unnecessary calories, and I have to feel that I’ve earned it in some way by exercising approximately that equivalent number.

If only I were a few inches taller, I wouldn’t have to be so disciplined, but at only five feet, it’s imperative!

I was on a mission to find me some Blue Bunny, which is kind of a rare brand in my neck of the woods. I went to their website and found a couple of locations. I wasted two hours and never found any; so I had to settle for another brand.  I also took the opportunity to stop at TJ Maxx and a couple other stores, so it wasn’t a total debacle, just a waste of time and gas.

When I got home, I went to work turning the compost which is most def NOT one of my favorite chores.

It’s full of bugs and ants and it’s really hard to do, but I love the results, so I thought of my ice creamy reward and powered through.

RAT!
A while ago — the last time he was home — we were having appetizers on the deck and I ran out to the compost to dump the veg peelings and coffee grounds, which is something I normally do at least once a day.

This is exactly what our compost bin looks like:compostbin

I lifted one side of the lid with one hand and simultaneously threw in the trash.

At that same moment as I was dumping the coffee grounds and cucumber peelings and eggshells, the biggest RAT in the entire western hemisphere jumped out of bin right at ME, onto my FOOT, and it was covered in the trash I had just dumped.

OMG, you could probably have heard the screams for miles. I was beside myself. I was out of my mind.  My captain extricated himself from the deck (a bit slower than I would have wanted) and ran over to where I was sitting on the grass hyperventilating and pointing and still screaming, “Rat, rat, rat on me!!!”

He made a diligent search of the entire area, but could not find the monster. He had the nerve to say that I probably scared the mutant rodent more than he scared me. I was very traumatized. But that’s my captain. He’s very calm in a disaster, which is what you want in a captain.

He’s the turtle to my rabbit, as I always say.

So that leads me to my list of what husbands are good for:

1. When you scream that it feels like ants are crawling all over you, they come and look down your shirt and brush you off without complaining.

2. When you scream that there’s a rat that just jumped out of the compost as you opened the top to add some vegetable peelings, they (while taking their sweet time getting off the cushy swing on the deck) rescue you and offer all kinds of comfort (wine) while you are enduring post traumatic stress.

3. They actually turn the compost, so you don’t have to see a rat.

4. They are great for going to get a shave ice with on a hot day — that’s not really a fun solitary activity.

FYI — I found this cute trinket at World Market; it comes with two hearts and I sent one to my captain in the last package. This way he’ll always have my heart with him.
Here’s what the card says:
Love This box contains two love amulets which belong together one is yours the other is a gift from you to your loved one. This (sic) are lovingly handmade by the Mayans of Guatamala. You should both wear the amulets when you are together.

He carries this with him in his backpack wherever he travels to the four corners of the earth. I hope it keeps him safe when we’re apart.

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3 thoughts on “Rats and a “What Husbands are Good For” List

  1. Pingback: No rest for the weary or how my captain spent the first one-hundred-forty-four hours of his homecoming | Enchanted Seashells…Confessions of a Tugboat Captain's Wife

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