Do as I say, not as I do

A food police confession…we were out of healthy homemade cookies with DIL and sister wife in town, and captain loves a little sumpin’ sweet, so I broke down and allowed him to have a choice in life bought a package of honey graham crackers at Vons. Lowfat, contains fiber, etc. I gave him two squares and thought that would make him happy. Then I got the idea in my head to make chocolate covered graham crackers. Bad idea. Turned into a major tussle. I had to hide them from both of us, cos we wanted to eat them ALL, but you should REALLY try it. Melt 1/2 cup semi-sweet chocolate chips. Add about 1 tsp. veg oil and stir to combine for a minute or so with a wooden spoon which’ll temper the choc. I covered one side although you could do both. I placed them in the refrigerator for a bit to speed up the hardening of the choc. They’re so freakin’ good. I know it’s crazy to take on the role of food regulator and then create scenarios that cause these kinds of problems. At least I’m totes aware of the dichotomy here. And at least I didn’t go full-on s’mores, mostly ‘cos the marshmallows at Vons contained gelatin which is derived from cows and we’re vegetarians and don’t eat Jello or anything like that. If we had been at Whole Foods and saw vegan marshmallows, I might not have been able to stop myself…

Bad language, the Titanic, and seashells

Sunday night; it’s been a crazy weekend. DIL and her sister (I call her sister wife but my son says it’s inappropriate –throwing my word back at me–and she’s his wife’s sister) drove down from San Francisco via LA for the day. They got here yesterday about 10:30 a.m. I had  breakfast burritos ready to go. Bio-dad (my son’s dad) was here and we all ate on the deck and then it was time to go through the entire house like I’m Bed Bath & Beyond, Target, and Macy’s all rolled into one. They needed bed linens, towels, blankets, comforters, shelving, pots, pans, cooking utensils, and for some reason, all the chick lit books I’ve read over the past three months. Sister wife took a dolphin lamp the neighbors were gonna put in the trash but I rescued. A walk around the yard yielded several potted plants that would adorn their rental in SF. The price was right–of course, even things that are free usually have strings attached,  but in this case, we were just glad to help them out. Here’s the scenario: DIL moved to SF. Her husband, my son, still lives in New Haven and teaches at Yale. We all have our fingers crossed that he gets a job in NorCal soon. In spite of the obstacles, they’re doing a great job of making this long distance thing work.

After ransacking our house, we went for a walk on the seawall in Carlsbad (bio-dad built it in 1987) and stopped for an early sushi dinner at Mikkos. (Bio-dad went home after breakfast. We’re friendly, but not THAT friendly.)  The captain checked over DIL’s car to make sure it was in good working order and they were back on the road at 4:30 p.m.

My reward for all this was a whole slew of new slang for UK SPK Part Two, which will be coming along later in the week. Sister wife is a treasure trove of great speak!

Last night we watched The Artist on Netflix. Are we the last people in the US to see this awesome film? Start to finish, it was fantastic. The acting was so incredible we forgot it was a silent film.

Today the captain and I went to the famous Carlsbad Street Fair. We parked at the beach and walked down to the village. It all started a bit aggressively as we crossed Carlsbad Blvd. in the proper crosswalk. One lane of cars stopped for us, but in another lane a car sped by and almost ran us down when we were most vulnerable in the middle of the street. Captain says, “Slow down, buddy” I yell, “Slow down, asshole!” Idiot driver says, “Fuck you!” I yell, “Fuck you, too!” and all the other cars are honking at him–‘cos he’s an idiot and he almost killed us. Good times in Carlsbad. Here’s me safely on the other side of the street enjoying a nice stretch. Not having a good hair day but the hat covers the worst of it.

The first thing we saw at the fair was a slide replica of the Titanic. Come on, people. In what universe could it be considered “fun” to imitate the gruesome tragedy of  1500 or so deaths by recreating the event in an activity for kids.

This is a pretty gruesome if you think about it.

I was on the lookout for  the booths that carry seashells. Yeah, I admit I’m a bit obsessed about  the whole seashell thing, but it’s a relatively innocent obsession, so I don’t feel too bad about it. We saw one booth and I stopped to take a pic before I picked out the ones I wanted but the owner stuck her hand in front of my camera like I”m a papparazi or something and said, “No pictures” so I called her a bitch and left without purchasing any seashells.  (We actually exchanged a bit more words than that and included someone calling someone the “c” word.) She’s lucky she still has both of her hands. Captain was very supportive (maybe even scared of me a bit, as I’m only five feet tall but kind of freaky crazy sometimes when stupid people act stupid for stupid reasons.) I was only planning to give her biz a shout out but since she was irrational, I won’t post the pic which I got in spite of her ugly hand block. We found another purveyor of seashells and I scored the motherlode. I got so many starfish and unusual shells it wiped away the other bad experience. 

We walked up and down every bit of the fair until we were beyond exhausted. I figured we had walked enough to deserve some junk food. We had delicious veggie spring rolls and even a funnel cake, but only a very small one. The two mile walk back to the car probably burned off a few more calories.