Where Was Your First “I Love You”?

(And booze, because of course.)

Wednesday, December 25, 1991

This was our first holiday together after I figuratively walked to the edge of the cliff and jumped off by telling my tugboat man I loved him the first time we shared a cup of coffee.

I was positive he was going to break up with me.

My ten-year-old son was with his dad for the day.

My tugboat man and I went to the gym in the morning for a little holiday workout before they closed at noon. The house was freezing when we got home. I remember going to the thermostat to turn on our central heating.  It’s rare that we need the heat on continuously here in SoCal; we use it briefly to take the chill out of the air.

It was (like it still is) a sad home when my son’s not here.

On the way home from the gym we stopped at a liquor store and bought a small bottle of Jagermeister250px-Jagermeister_bottle and a bottle of Rumpelmintz.rumplemintz

I was in the bathroom when I heard him. He very quietly said, “Rosebud, will you come into the family room? We need to talk.”

Oh NO, NOT the dreaded we need to talk. This did not sound good. Not good at all.

That’s breakup speak, I just knew it. But on Christmas DAY??? Who would do that? I know we had kind of fast tracked our relationship after that first cup of coffee–he even had been introduced to my son during a  work-related event or two and things were moving along great-or so I thought. Maybe things were moving too fast and he was getting cold feet. All kinds of doomsday scenarios were floating around in my head. All I knew for sure was that I didn’t want to come out of the bathroom; I stayed there, heart pounding, tears welling up in my eyes. I looked at myself in the mirror.

Why today of all days? What did I do wrong?woman_crying_m

I was still wearing my workout gear with an oversized plaid shirt. Nineties grunge, ya know?

At some point I steeled my nerves and came out of the bathroom to get it over with and figure out how to endure a breaking heart.

He was sitting at the small dining table we have in our family room where we eat informal meals. There were a couple of shot glasses filled with Rumplemintz (peppermint schnapps). He looked very serious. I mean, like he planned to deliver really bad news. He pulled out a chair and said, “Have a seat.”


I said, “No. I don’t want to.”
Nice guy. He was going to get me drunk, break up with me, and run out the front door. This could be the worst day of my life. Seriously. He was going to do this before I could get a Christmas present from him? Seriously?

“Oh, come on. I need to tell you something. Come and sit down right here.”

Oh. Shit.

I forced my sad little plaid covered self over to the chair and looked down. I looked anywhere but at HIM. I didn’t want to see him for the very last time.

He wasn’t saying anything. I could feel him looking at me. At that point, I was thinking to myself, oh hell–just get it over with already! I gotta get myself a gallon of ice cream and start on it asap.

Finally, he reached over, took my hand and said, ” I need you to know that I love you.”

WHAT? You set me up for a break up scenario and you were planning to tell me that you loved me? WTF? 

I had anticipated the worst possible outcome. Instead, once again–he surprised me.

Crap. I can’t go any further with this story! He just told me that I can’t write the rest of what he said ‘cos it’s private–not for anyone to hear but me is what he said–but I can tell you it was lovely and sweet, and I’m so glad he’s here now–home for Christmas–because I’m always reminded of that first year.

If you don’t have to drive anywhere, try our special holiday tradition cocktail, the Reindeer: mix equal parts Jagermeister and Rumplemintz. Very potent!

Where did your most memorable “I love you” take place?


32 thoughts on “Where Was Your First “I Love You”?

      • You have made a very good start. My story is 35 years! When you find your soul-mate, time takes on a new, more fluid dimension. When I look back at our first meeting, it seems like it was only a heartbeat away. My Italian teacher said it is “amore a prima vista” – love at first sight.


      • How wonderful to learn a bit more about you! Yes, fluid is a great word to describe it, and in Italian, it’s heavenly. I look forward to your comments so much!! Thank you.

        On Thu, Dec 27, 2012 at 10:11 PM, Enchanted Seashells…Confessions of a Tugbo


  1. Oh, well, I’ll go another route, not with an “I love you” but with acknowledgement that Christmas can be a pivotal romantic life-changer. 33 Christmas years ago I let a male friend know that we were under mistletoe,(albeit plastic), and there came a knock-your-socks-off;life-changing kiss I never expected. When I left home,I took that mistletoe with me and it is in my bedroom, sitting in the top of a tall, frosted glass candle that has a cartoon of a girl holding mistletoe over a young fellow’s head; that candle was bought by the kisser himself, just before we got married on Dec.3, 1982.


  2. While I may be divorced, the first time my Ex said he loved me was on a hilltop in Califoronia(Cali is so romantic).. The marriage may have ended, but that single moment in time of love & validation is forever ingrained in my heart. It’s good to be loved..
    Now tell us more of YOUR love story 🙂


    • Cali CAN be romantic but we have our share of heartaches here too, more to come on that later…I’m sorry you are divorced 😦 I was too before I met this one.

      On Fri, Dec 28, 2012 at 3:45 AM, Enchanted Seashells…Confessions of a Tugbo


  3. Aw, so sweet!

    I’ve never said the L word first, no matter how badly I wanted to. Such a shame I don’t have as much self-control in other areas…

    Anyway, my husband said it first to me when we were at a wedding for one of his best friends. It was a huge, expensive wedding (think 350+ guests at a swanky hotel) and he managed to get me a last minute invite, and I went ALL out – new dress, etc. Halfway through dinner, he leaned over and whispered it in my ear and, since I have crap hearing and wanted to be SURE he had said what I thought he had said before I responded, I actually said, “WHAT?!”

    What can I say? I’m classy like that.


  4. What a wonderful story. I am divorced also but remember when I was 19 and my boyfriend telling me he loved me for the first time. We were dancing when he said it.

    Have been in a good relationship the last 8 years (in Feb) but he has never said the L word even though I know that he does.


  5. What a wonderful story!
    Like FPP said, that one honest sincere moment lastsa lifetime!

    I don;t remember the cirucmstances when I first sid it to my girl, though I do remember most of the conversation.
    And I still tell her I love her several times a day.


  6. Awwww … sniff! Seriously … sniff. What an awesome story!!! I’m man enough to say the end brought a little tear to my eye! Thanks for sharing.
    Give me a few shots of that Jager and Rumplemintz concoction and I’m telling everybody that I love them!!!


  7. Wow, this is sad and sweet for me. I love you doesn’t always last. I expected it to, but it didn’t. It’s nice to know there are second chances but I don’t think I could risk it again. Today I’m not that brave, but I’m glad you are.


    • I don’t know what came over me, it wasn’t really my normal behavior, extraordinary circumstances. what would have I done if he had said no? probably quit that job asap.

      On Wed, Jan 2, 2013 at 9:31 AM, Enchanted Seashells…Confessions of a Tugbo


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