I am SUCH a loser — sad, but true…

I met four lovely ladies from Generation Fabulous for lunch at Bellefleur in Carlsbad.

It’s located in the Carlsbad Premium Outlets with some of my fave shops like Barneys, Banana Republic, and BCBG.

This was my very first meet-up in the flesh with any of the smart and witty blogger/writers I’ve been reading since I started this blog last June. It was kinda like JDate, Jewish Mingle, Match.com, and EHarmony all-in-one.

What if they didn’t like me? What if I slopped food all over, got spinach in my teeth, or said something stupid? I’ve been known to do all of those things at one time or another…

Me, being me  — Princess Rosebud, that is — spent a long time contemplating, deliberating, and meditating — to conjure up the perfect emsemble for this momentous event.

It’s what I do, I say as I shrug my shoulders. It’s what I do.

Similar to building an outstanding five paragraph essay — only the body of the essay is the dress, skirt, skinny jeans along with a shirt or blouse, coordinated with a blazer, sweater or coat, bringing it all together in that final paragraph with shoes, jewelry, scarf, and handbag.(Always Chanel, or course)

Like thisgenfablunchoutfitwhiteskinny

Here’s a picture of the five of us

GenFabLunch1We’re having a lovely time, getting to know each other, and they were swapping stories about bloggy type conventions and gatherings, their multiple books written, sponsorships, advertising, public speaking engagements — and I’m listening intently but not sharing anything.

Why, you ask? Why?

Because I have nothing to share. Nada. Zip. Zippo.

I haven’t accomplished a single, solitary thing with my blog.

There was a lull in the conversation and I said in a small voice,

“I shop. I like to go shopping.”

I felt like such a LOSER wondering what the heck I’m doing with these talented and entrepreneurial women. Being color coordinated was the only skill I brought to the table (literally). Oh, and the genius ability to walk in five-inch heels and not fall down.

I don’t have an eBook — not even one — or an old school paper book, or affiliate advertising, or free tickets to movies and screenings — although I recently posted a review of “I Just Want to Pee Alone”.

Not only do I not know where to start, I don’t have the huge numbers of clicks or impressions or readers or followers. Sigh.

I think I came too late to the game of blogging to get a piece of the pie.

ICBL FINAL 2_2

Don’t get me wrong. The ladies were fun and lively and warm and friendly with great senses of humor.

No sour grapes here, I admire all that’s been achieved and I had a wonderful time — it’s just that I’m seriously not in the same league –or in the same time zone — we’re light years apart –in terms of blogging leading to a successful business venture.

Now I’m contemplating whether or not to continue.

Should I give up?

Geez Louise, I didn’t even have a business card with me.

What a LOSER!

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92 thoughts on “I am SUCH a loser — sad, but true…

  1. Princess Rosebud, you are such a winner! I LOVED meeting you, love reading your writing and love you!! You are so wrong that you haven’t accomplished a single thing with your blog — you have such a warm, real voice and you make me laugh. That is awesome — and so are you! Can’t wait to see you again. xo

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  2. I am in that same late sailing ship with you. I also started my blog last summer (late August), and my numbers are very low. Very low. Sometimes single digits. I try not to let comparison rob me of joy. I try to remember that I did not begin blogging thinking I would strike it rich or become famous. I am going to try not to think about the fact that I cannot walk in five inch heels, or even three inch heels, and barely colour coordinate my clothing. I’m going to keep blogging because I’ve met some wonderful ladies, like you, and that is enough for me. I hope you don’t quit, either.

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    • Thank you for including me in the lovely ladies you’ve met, I totally agree with you about that, and we’ll just have to have a practice sesh one day about how to walk in heels LOL, but I need money. Hubs bought me my first Chanel, like a crack dealer gives one rock free to hook his victim–now he told me I have to earn my money to buy the other ones I want, so I need some kind of income!! I might not be able to spend as much time as I do now reading and writing, cos I needs me a Chanel fix.

      On Thu, Apr 25, 2013 at 7:43 AM, Enchanted Seashells…Confessions of a Tugbo

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  3. You are not a loser and really enjoy reading your blog. I felt the same way when I started blogging and saw the single digits. It does take time to build it. I know that you want a Chanel and there has to be away although haven’t tried to make money from it. It has always been a extension of our website. Don’t give up!

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  4. Oh no…dear Princess Rosebud were we at the same lunch? This is what I observed/heard: a lovely woman with an effervescent personality and a desire to connect with people! We all have a story to share, in this post alone you are expressing what the majority of people have felt at one time or another but are too afraid to say. And for what it is worth, so what if I wrote a book, it doesn’t mean my blog is hitting the “most widely read” list, not even close! When you are brave with your voice (as you are) often times it inspires another person to be brave with their own, maybe that won’t pay for the finer things but, IMHO what you offer is worth more than that. So keep on blogging! xo
    Oh and one last thing, count me in for the Lavender excursion 😉

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    • I was only feeling a teensy sorry for myself, sometimes a Princess can have a down day, after all, I’m not the Queen so I really don’t RULE over anything, but you all are very inspiring and so much FUN, honestly, I had the best time ever meeting everyone, I know why it’s Gen FABULOUS! I’ll know soon when my hubs is going to be home, and I’m free to play until then! Can’t wait for the Princesses to meet for Lavender Day.

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  5. Look here, Missy. You have a lot to give. Your unique self, for starters. Your particular slant on life, your fabulous and interesting blog, and the wonderful person you are.

    I was daunted at first by all the lovelies of GenFab. But that’s just me, always wanting to do better. I quickly realized that these wonderful ladies are the exact women who were meant to be in my life right now – strong, vibrant, intelligent and lovely. You ARE one of those ladies.

    I have no books published (yet) and I’m not a household name. But I’m the best ME I can be, doing what I love, paying what I know forward to help others and meeting new friends like you who add character and meaning to my life.

    So, there you are! In friendship…

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    • You are truly a shining example of inspiration. Thank you so much for your encouragement–I was/am feeling a bit overwhelmed by all of the wit and drive and determination and wisdom and such great writing! mostly I don’t feel I measure up, but I like hanging on the fringes and watch YOU all grow and develop. Your words are very sweet, thank you, friend!

      On Thu, Apr 25, 2013 at 8:18 AM, Enchanted Seashells…Confessions of a Tugbo

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  6. You are only a loser if you believe you are… and BTW, I felt like so much of a midlife loser once I even wrote an e-book about it called: Feel Like a Loser? What to do when you don’t have a clue! Yep, I’m the QUEEN of Midlife Crisis and PROUD of It!!!

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  7. Princess Rosebud! I feel your pain. I am just getting my blog rolling, and when I first joined GenFab, I cried. CRIED. But then I decided that “you have to start somewhere” and that I can “fake it till I make it.” So after a week of hyperventilating into a paper bag, I jumped back in. I get overwhelmed at times, but then I just tell myself this: “Karen, just get up every day and do your very best for that day, and everything will be OK.” And also, I chant Joseph Campbell’s mantra: “Follow your bliss.” Do what you love, and don’t worry about what everyone else is doing. I am glad that I’m with this group, even if I’m not one of the high powered members. I’m plugging along! You can plug along with me.

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  8. Blogging need not be a competition nor business adventure.. You said so yourself, you really enjoyed meeting these ladies and had fun. That is worth more than any book deal 😉

    Keep on blogging!

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  9. Pish posh! Look at all the people who love to read what you have to say! As a struggling baby blogger, I so look forward to seeing your posts, looking at how you do things, and thinking I want to be kinda like you but me when I grow up. 🙂 And your flowers are to die for…I need to see more!

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  10. We all came to blogging too late, we should have jumped in at the dawn of the internet, so do not feel for a minute like you missed the boat. You missed the first boat but all of your friends are back here in the second boat. We each need to decide why we blog and then not be swayed by other agendas for their blogs (so much easier said than done!) We are all here for you.

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  11. This was GREAT! Don’t give up blogging. I’d like to know more about the whole blogging thing, and how this community of women see it as a source – or potential source – of revenue. I don’t know a single soul who makes money from their blog. I see it as something you do because you’ve made a personal commitment to blog – for whatever reason. I figure money is to be made elsewhere.

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    • I guess less women make money at it than I thought, but some do. If it’s tied to a product you have or a book you’ve written, a blog seems to be another great tool for marketing, or if you can tie in with a product and write about it, and the product pays you to do so, there’s $$ potential there. I’m a marketing person, but I don’t market myself very good! The more I learn, the more I learn that I don’t know very much about it, all that SEO stuff…a lot of information.

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  12. Gee, as long as you enjoy blogging, what difference does it make? It’s all about self-expression – just like fashion – not over-achieving. So I missed the peeing alone post- is it about kids, dogs , or cats that follow their people in the bathroom? A common problem I’ve had for years!

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    • Ha,click on pee alone, it’ll take you right to the post. its mostly about moms who can’t get a free minute even to pee, although my dogs and cats followed me in the bathroom too. it’s a great time to bond, I guess! To be honest, I started off thinking a blog was my ticket to fame and fortune, an agent or publisher or tv show creator was gonna get wind of this here princess who’s married to a tug captain and want to build a show around me, etc etc. My own little fantasy land, which is not too far off since I minored in creative writing. I see all that everyone has accomplished and I got admittedly a teensy weensy (a lot) jealous! I appreciate your comments, it will help bring me back down to earth. What? you mean I’m not really a princess?

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  13. This was GREAT! Don’t give up blogging. I’d like to know more about the whole blogging thing, and how this community of women see it as a source – or potential source – of revenue. I don’t know a single soul who makes money from their blog. I see it as something you do because you’ve made a personal commitment to blog – for whatever reason. I figure money is to be made elsewhere.

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  14. I agree with the general feeling of previous commenters. We all decide why we’re doing it and what it means to us. Unfortunately, we’re all programmed to compete in this country whether we want to call it that or not. This is not high school. This is real life where none of us get out alive and the best any of us can be is ourselves. (Am I going on too long because I am compensating? It’s because some of those feelings are rumbling through me right now because I haven’t been able to make ONE friend in Arizona since moving here and I left a HUNDRED dear ones in Utah.) Such is life. We both have really good husbands and successful sons. Oh dear, there I am competing again. And stating truth.

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    • No, you’re not going on too long, I love reading your thoughts. I’m sorry you haven’t made any friends YET in AZ; but the truth is, people I’ve thought were friends here have said the meanest things to me, so I actually have kinder more compassionate friendships growing on the internet! I’m only a state away, I’m your friend! And yes, we have breast hubs and successful sons in common. I am a bit JEALOUS of already published writers (like you too) and feeling sorry for myself! Talk more, I like it a lot, truth 🙂

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  15. You are a great writer. Don’t stop blogging, and don’t think that you’re “less than” because others may have done more with their blogging than you have at this point. This is a very slow and steady process, and the most important thing you can do is keep writing and keep connecting and sharing through social media.

    Money isn’t easy to find as a blogger, but if we midlife bloggers continue to connect and grow our community, we WILL be seen as a viable marketing outlet for businesses to consider.

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    • Thank you, Sharon. I’m getting such lovely words of support, what a truly wonderfully fabulous GenFab community. I don’t begrudge anyone their success, I applaud and admire it, I was just feeling slightly…jealous! OK, I said it. LOL. You have really touched on a great demographic; I was a marketing/PR person in a former life, and hope companies see the value in “our” mid-life group.

      On Thu, Apr 25, 2013 at 11:03 AM, Enchanted Seashells…Confessions of a Tugbo

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  16. Comparisons are invidious and insidious.

    Besides, they make you feel like crap.

    Not everyone has the same goals in this group, and that’s fine. We are all on a journey of discovery with this blogging thing, or writing thing. Just keep writing and rocking those pearls, you’ll do just fine.

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  17. I’ve been writing for years and still have no book deals. But then, I’m not looking for book deals. I just love to write and am thrilled that anyone reads my words at all. I guess I should set the bar higher.

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    • No, not necessarily, everyone should do what they want–I just thought I’d have my own reality show by now. I’ve had so many people over the years tell me I should, and it wouldn’t be too hard to pitch it along with my book deals and my line of clothing and jewelry and scarves (fantasy land) –hubs wouldn’t do it at all, I know that. Heck, he didn’t even want anyone to know he was a tug capt which was a challenge since – well, since the title of my blog, too funny, so I can’t say his company or his name or where he goes or specifically what he does. I have big dreams but that’s about it!

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  18. You silly girl! Of course you are FABULOUS! We’re all at different places and the journey means something different to each and every one of us. There is a place for your fabulous self, and darling, may I say that you looked MAHVELOUS, at the table any time.You are a good writer and we’re so glad to have you among us. This journey is about the ride, not the destination.

    Blogging is exactly what you want it to be. Nothing more. Nothing less. If you want to start going to conferences, get a business card, and make your blog a business, then you’ve found the perfect mentors. If you want to continue writing beautiful pieces about your life, and make friends then you’ve found the perfect group.

    Generation Fabulous is not about achievement, but it is about dreams. Everyone has them, and everyone’s is different. Yours have just as much value as anyone else’s. Don’t give up. The only failure is giving up because you don’t think you’re good enough. You are good enough.

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    • You should charge big bucks for that pep talk, Ms Chloe, not Khloe! I’m def wanting to see what’s possible to “acquire wealth”–hubs told me I now have to buy all the rest of my Chanels, he only supplied me with my first one, darn him! So that’s my motivation, and yes, to the conferences, yes to the biz cards, yes to learning how– because of all the myriad of jobs and businesses I’ve ever had ( a LOT)–this is what feels most like ME. How great to think of you all as mentors and how much more positive than the teensy green blob of jealousy I was (just a little, I swear!) And thank you for the compliment, I do love to Princess-up my appearance whenever I can 🙂

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  19. This is what we do to ourselves as women – we never think we are quite enough. When you start writing doesn’t matter. Some people didn’t begin their most powerful work until they were in their 70’s. I would write their names here but, thanks to menopause, I have no memory. You sound amazing. Keep writing.

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  20. Worry not. Keep writing. It all comes in time. Meanwhile, stay fabulous. Believing you are getting there is more than half the fuel it takes.
    xxx

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  21. Are you writing because you love it? That’s the only question I’d really ask myself. If the answer is yes, then push through. Think about it like fitness. Come at it from a different angle if you find yourself stalled or at a crossroads. See what happens next. Success is about perseverance. You need to find that thing you are willing to put hours and hours and years and years into to make it happen.

    You and I both know that – like teaching fitness – you have to love it, otherwise don’t bother, because it’s certainly not a get rich quick scheme.

    And I could be selfish about the whole thing, and say that I’d miss you if you stopped – which is true – but this is about you, and finding what makes you happy and fulfilled and clutching another Chanel bag. 😉

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    • Oh you know me too well, my furry friend! Yes, it IS all about me hee hee only kidding, no I’m not! I love the workout analogy, I do push though the pain, just did it today in fact with a zillion squats,lunges, and pushups. Tabata time! I think we ended up doing about 300 of each plus a ton of cardio. Now that makes total sense to me. But with writing, I’ve been seeing only what so many others have accomplished and am anxious to catch up, sheesh. And I do love to write, what I don’t really like is trying to write something that’s going to be the “thing” to go viral. That seems to be what I’ve been agonizing over. I mean, as much as I LOVE you, when I read your awesome piece about marrying someone of a different color, I was NOT jealous, no not even a tiny bit of that cos I’m happy for you and proud of you–but I wished I had married a man of color, too, so I could write about it! LOL I about choked on my tea laughing at myself. That’s how craycray I am. And damn that hub of mine for being blonde and white and for not buying me another Chanel. Just like a stupid drug dealer to get me hooked.

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  22. NO, NO, NO!! Never give up! Never surrender… Hmm, sorry, that must be another MALE thing. 😉 How did they start out? They weren’t immediately successful right? I believe, especially in an art industry,that you have to pay your dues before you can work your way up to the top. So, you’ve been blogging since June… that isn’t very long in the grand scheme of things, is it? Are you working on stories to get published? Have you reached out to agents to see about getting represented? Could you have asked any of the Generation Fabulous peeps for tips/tricks/contacts/etc…? If you want to turn this in to something, you definitely can, you have the talent, you just have to keep working at it and you will get there!

    I know, I know. “Princess” Rosebud – you didn’t want to have to actually work for it, right? Royalty always just expects to be handed things. That’s why I’m just the lowly Jester, instead of the King – I have to work too. 😉

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  23. Now you’re making me feel like a loser! You just started in June, yet you’ve got 56 comments! I’ve been blogging for years and don’t think I’ve ever had that many on a post – or an eBook, etc. But I keep blogging because I love it. (It’s good therapy.) Connecting with all of my fabulous blog friends, including the GenFabbers, is just icing on the cake. I think you should hang in there. 🙂

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  24. I think it’s awesome that you’ve found and met other bloggers in your area. And honestly, anyone who can draw dozens of replies per post — and such a loving groundswell of support — has absolutely nothing to be embarrassed about.

    Jealous? Me? Heck, yeah — but in a good, smiling way. You’ve come a LONG way, ma’am, and I’ve a feeling the best is yet to come.

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  25. Everyone said all the important things so I’ll stick with the selfish one– I love you, don’t you dare go anywhere!

    When does the “Enchanted Dinosaur” meeting happen? You’ll, of course, have to promise not to be horrified by my terrible fashion choices, haha. Well, either that or I’ll just have the husband dress me up so I can look relatively respectable. 😀

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  26. Don’t give up my lovely! I don’t know how long you have been blogging but it sounds like these ladies have been doing it a long time and built up there following. First decide what you want to do with your blog and promote,promote, Promote! May I suggest “Styling” your outfit is fab and I am sure your new blogger friends would love for you to coordinate them outfits! XOXO D-Anna

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    • You are so sweet, and I thank you so much! Coming from you, I am totes happy you think I have styling skills! I’m all over the place with my “brand” cos that’s just me, all over the place! But you can’t ever go wrong with a scarf and pearls (and Chanel!) MUCH gratitude, thank you again!

      On Fri, Apr 26, 2013 at 12:05 PM, Enchanted Seashells…Confessions of a Tugbo

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  27. OMG, I just saw this and wanted to say – YOU’RE NOT A LOSER! This blog is still new, in terms of blog-life! And people read it and like it and that’s what a blog is FOR. 🙂 And may I say, I often feel EXACTLY the same way? Give us some time Princess, we’ll be rockstars soon enough.
    Additionally, you are a very good dresser, which is not a complement I freely give. You make me look like a lazy hippie when it comes to clothing. 😉

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  28. Don’t you dare giveup!! You are one of my fav in cyberland. And, those thoughts inside your head about being accomplished, having books, or whatever, heck that doesn’t define you. Or me. We do what we do but that’s not who we are. Authentic loves authentic whether it’s chatting about Banaba Republic, a book, or a fly on the wall, who cares, when there’s good people connecting and enjoying sharing what does it matter what we do? Seriously. I love to chat with my friends about nothing, Seinfeld had a winning TV show about nothing, nothing works for me. Everything above and beyond that icing. In my book, you’re a good egg, my cyber friend… please don’t go anywhere and can you just have a little peek at you from my eyes? Your tugboat guy’s eyes? Your Yale boy’s eyes? That’s gotta count for more than a few new lady cyber friends that didn’t help you feel too important. awwww but I ramble. Big cyber hug to you. Happy weekend. Paulette

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  29. Glad you’re feeling better honey. I think you’re a fabulous blogger, and I enjoy your posts because you’re real. Like genuine real!

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  30. I’m with you! I have no idea how I haven’t gotten a book deal yet. Or at least an offer to guest write a Letterman top 10 list.
    On the other hand, I get to hang out with cool people like you.
    And look on the bright side, when you do get your million dollar idea, you have a built in audience here!

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  31. ok who the hell cares about all of that shite? Blog and write because you want too. You rock lady. So stop the nonsense and keep going.
    Sincerely–
    The biggest blogging goofball there is

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    • Oh crap, I need to do something that brings a little $$$ to the old bank account. Hoped it would be my writing, I think I’ll have to think again…:) So, it is actually very freeing to write cos I like to, and not figure out how those stupid formulas work with the SEOs to get picked up by Huff and all those platforms…

      On Sat, Apr 27, 2013 at 5:36 PM, Enchanted Seashells…Confessions of a Tugbo

      Like

  32. Be serious! Your blog is my absolute favorite — smart, witty, insightful and always entertaining no matter the subject. It brings joy to many people’s lives, and that is a BIG accomplishment.

    Like

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