Hot Boy Toy Eye Candy Crushes (In Retaliation)

EMAIL

Hello? Generic? Too busy to call me, huh? I guess the honeymoon’s over. Geez.

I’ve obviously become a NON-priority to the tugboat man.

In that case, I’ll devote the remainder of this post to my hot boy toy eye candy crushes and wait for my tugboat man to remember he has a wife and call me.

Is that too much to ask? Yes, I know he isn’t just vacationing out there on the high seas and that the work he’s doing, towing a four hundred foot barge loaded with heavy equipment from here to there, might be a TAD distracting…but still, a princess expects certain things from her tugboat man. “Too busy to call?” NOT good, Captain, not good at all.

This is Day 30: These kind of ocean-going assignments have no particular end date. There’s only an approximate date by which he should be relieved by another captain. It’s not like some mariners who are on a fixed rotation of two weeks on and two weeks off. Whether he’s voyaging across the Atlantic (not fun in the winter) or over to Korea, Guam, or even Russia– or south to the Gulf of Mexico, Peru, Uruguay, Brazil, and through the Panama Canal — Africa even — I’m left twisting in the wind, eternally waiting for the return of my tugboat man.

High winds on the high seas — that’s a major cause of a slow down. A tugboat “in tow” (a maritime term) is the definition of danger. There are other factors that contribute to a delayed return like this; crewing issues, additional requests by the contracted company — but it’s all the same to me –no ride to the airport to pick up my  BFF.

Done with that rant..time to move on to something positive:

BOY TOY EYE CANDY CRUSHES

ct-ent-beck-bennett-1.jpg-20130130I gotta be honest with y’all. I don’t normally notice other men on the street or on the beach   — not in the “oh he’s so hot way” — cos really, my captain’s ALL THAT,  if you know what I mean, but I have the mostest majorest crush on the ATT guy, you know, the guy in the “It’s Not Complicated” storyline.

His name’s Beck Bennett (is that his real name?)
Click here to read all about him. He’s so funny and slightly snarky at the same time. Just my type…The ad campaign is so delightful and fresh — I wish I had thought of it.

And then there’s Gossip Girl‘s Chace Crawford as Nate Archibald and Ed Westwick, Chuck Bass. I am fully aware these two babies are younger than my son — SO WHAT!
Just look at Chace…he’s looking RIGHT AT ME. I’m so excited, I can hardly stand it!
Ed’s thinking about something I said late last night.

Ed-Westwick-Previews-GQ-Fall-Fashion-ed-westwick-6721315-944-1222chacecrawford300


I’d still crush on Johnny Depp if he still looked like this  – YUMMY

Johnny-Depp-johnny-depp-23328477-441-600

…but his bad teeth and poor dental hygiene gross me out. Floss, Johnny, FLOSS!
johnny-depp-teeth-3I used to totes luv Brad Pitt, but the way he discarded Jennifer got him crossed off my list. Plus, I heard he doesn’t bathe on a regular basis, so there’s that whole hygiene thing again… well, maybe I’d make an exception if he walked toward me looking like this, right?brad_pitt_sexyor this…brad-pitt-vs-aiswarya-rai-

My last crush is Max Greenfield — SCHMIDT! — of New Girl.
Best smile, best Jewish boy body on TV. We luvs us some Schmidt!
max greenfield

HEY TUGBOAT MAN, BETTER COME HOME SOON, YA KNOW WHAT I MEAN?

P.S. At one time, my tugboat man looked just a little bit like this, I mean if I squinted, in the dark, with the right lighting. Yup, there’s a definite for real slight resembance of my captain about twenty-five years ago when we met.
GregNelson

THIS IS AN UPDATE: I forgot to add that I THINK I saw Chace Crawford hiking in Laguna Hills about a year ago, but I was too freaked out to say anything — ME, the big mouth!  I don’t have any confirmation it was, but I had a FEELING. I was all like…

“Hey tugboat man, don’t you think that guy with the other guy that just walked by us was that guy I LUV from Gossip Girl?” “Rosebud, I’m not looking.” “No, just look for me, ‘cos I’m not sure but I’m pretty sure.”
“There is no way I’m doing that. YOU go and ask him if you think it is.” “Well, I don’t want to be wrong and if it’s not, I’ll feel like an idiot. Make that an OLD idiot!” Anyway, I really think it was and that’s the end of THAT story. Whoever it was — he was BEAUTIFUL. Sigh.

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31 thoughts on “Hot Boy Toy Eye Candy Crushes (In Retaliation)

  1. The guy from those commercials has great timing and is and cute-a great combination! 😉 I’ll have to remember to do a post like this the next time Evil Genius has been playing a video game too much, which will probably be very soon. HA HA!

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  2. Yup, it sounds like he needs to call, send flowers, and hurry home. Otherwise, you could just happen to be busy when he does come home! My husband has traveled a lot in the past, although usually not longer than 3 weeks at a time. It was hard and the kids were young, but at least we could talk on the phone. Good luck!

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    • Usually I pay him back for his absences with purchases like Chanel handbags and a variety of shoes; I am not sure what to do this time! Flowers would be nice except he can’t get on the internet to do anything but email. It’s a special program with no internet access. No cell phone either, the call he’s referring to is on a sat phone. I’ll have to wait for flowers…:)

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  3. I can see you are feeling lonely Rosebud. Mr. Tugboat had better get home quick. Lots of eye candy out there for sure. 😉 As you know, I’m a “The Rock” kinda gal LOL.

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  4. Hahaha, this post was so funny! Not that your tugboat man is still gone, but the other content, you know? That picture of Brad haunts my fantasies…;) Mike is okay with it, because he said if he were a woman he’d feel the same way about him.

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    • Thank you, but you’re so funny! My guy appreciates a beautiful man, too- I mean honestly, who wouldn’t? He doesn’t really love Chace Crawford, but he admires Chuck Bass LOL OH, I forgot to add that I think I saw Chace hiking in Laguna Hills a year ago, but I was too freaked out to say anything, me, the big mouth! I think I’ll add that now, although I don’t have confirmation it was, I had a FEELING. 🙂

      On Sat, Jun 22, 2013 at 5:18 PM, Enchanted Seashells…Confessions of a Tugbo

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  5. Love the post and the nice eye candy. I too loved Brad Pitt at one time but agree with you. Glad to hear that your Cap’t should be home in 10 days. He’s been gone too long!!!!

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