A Wanted Child

I am of the opinion that the global interest (and/or disdain)  in the birth of Britain’s future king is really less about the trappings of wealth and royal life — the gene pool and history he’s born into –than our forlorn and seemingly irretrievable collective absence of moms and dads who devote their lives to their babies.

As happy as I am for the birth of George Alexander Louis, His Royal Highness Prince George of Cambridge. this newborn who will be king, it makes me equally as sad for all the babies born that are NOT going to be as loved or wanted or properly cared for or parented.

All babies should be as loved as this one, all children deserve to feel like a prince or a princess, not like an unwanted nuisance or an accessory to be displayed when it’s convenient –and ignored when it’s not.

All children should be gazed upon with unconditional love, devotion, and dedication.

Over the years, I’ve observed enough parent/child interactions to believe that we may have forfeited the desire and commitment to raising a brand new human with lifelong dedication and passion–and love.

The bond between parent and child is one of the strongest connections in nature –or it should be.

I was again reminded how that’s not always the case when my tugboat man and I were at Barnes and Noble in Orange County a couple days ago.

He had most kindly driven me to Chanel because I lost a screw in the hardware of my Grand Shopper Tote and their only method of replacement involved bringing the bag to them, which was most def NOT a hardship. LOL. My sweet hubs drove me ‘cos of the limited use of my still only semi-functioning left arm — three more weeks of this stupid cast…

After going to Chanel and browsing through as many other stores as his patience would allow (he obvs does not share my same passion to discover the treasure of a perfect wedge) his sanctuary was the bookstore whilst I continued my search at the Nord Outlet.

Unfortunately though, my heart’s desire was not to be realized that day — no wedge for me…so I walked next door and I found my mariner among the stacks of maritime-related books–sooo predictable.

As we waited in line to pay for his books, there was a mom and a boy who looked to be about four-years-old. He was talking to her — trying to talk to her — about toys, books, whatever, just the adorable stream-of-consciousness conversation of a little one — and he was being ignored.

Mom was scrolling through her smart phone, reading a text, responding to a text, all the while she selfishly sacrificed this glorious opportunity to “be present in the moment” with her bright little boy.

Finally, after several minutes of trying to elicit a response, to be heard, to be acknowledged, to garner her oh-so-valuable attention, he put his hand up as if to physically block her from seeing the phone and said in a resigned tone that left me no doubt he’s said this before;

“No phone, Momma, no phone. Me, Momma, ME.

No phone.”

At that point, she looked up, turned away from him, and responded,

“Just a minute. Just a minute. Stop. I’m almost done.”

By the crestfallen look on his face, it was too late.

The spark of light had gone out of his eyes.

Poof, just like that.

It was a precious moment forever lost.

Hubs and I shook our heads. We felt so sad for this boy and disgusted with his clueless mom.

Ah well, I feel like a dinosaur.

My Angel Boy was wanted and cherished — from the time I was a little girl, I wanted to be a mom — I knew that for me, there would be nothing more fulfilling than the joy caring for a baby and helping that new life grow; nurturing his interests, curiosity, and imagination.

His Montessori Kindergarten teacher once said to me (in her adorable French accent):

“Jay-sohn seez ze world een heez own way.”

Jason sees the world in his own way.

He still does, and I can think of no better validation of my job as his mom.

Were there bad and neglectful parents before the invention of technology and social media?

Of course there were.

It just seems as if phones and video games have become an overwhelming distraction — and the focus of daily existence. Caring for a home and family is pushed way down the list.

Our values are skewed — in my (unpopular) opinion.

Prince-William-and-Kate-royal-baby-2082438The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge, gazing upon their newborn with such unabashed love, reminds me of a playground song:

“First comes love, then comes marriage.
Then comes a baby in a baby carriage.”

People who don’t want the serious and lifelong responsibility of having children should not have them.

It’s that simple.

Let’s treat our children like they’re the most special people in the world, OK?

I’m shouting this to the world in general…

“Moms and Dads, get off your phones!
Please, PAY ATTENTION to your children.
They’re more important than TWITTER,  FACEBOOK, or any other inanimate object.”

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37 thoughts on “A Wanted Child

  1. So well said, R!! If they only realize the things they miss. Yes, there are times it is frustrating to hear the constant chatter of mom, mom, mom, mom, especially when you’re busy. Being on computer/phone is NOT busy. But busy times are also moments that can easily become teaching and bonding moments. My boys and I have bonded over cooking, gardening, canning, sewing, cleaning, laundry, and the like. They’re good helpers if you let them be. We’ve also bonded over matchbox cars, tonka trucks, mud puddles on rainy days, snowball fights, legos, bb guns, and bike riding lessons. And watching them now, with younger cousins, etc, to see the amount of patience they have, to watch them revisit their youth in a pile of banged up cars, or even help build a road amongst the mums and lilies, I’m so glad I gave the time they needed while young. It just warms the heart! Sheesh, quitting now before I end up with a novella. 🙂

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    • perfectly said yourself, Deni. Your boys are lucky to have had a dedicated mom like yourself. I agree, some things ARE important, reading TMZ on the phone is not one of them. Maybe you and I are the ones who need to write parenting books. You sure can see the wonderful seeds you planted as children bearing fruit as adults!

      BTW, I still don’t get your blog sent to me and I’ve signed up several times. Do you know another way?

      On Wed, Jul 24, 2013 at 1:53 PM, Enchanted Seashells…Confessions of a Tugbo

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  2. Does it count if the kid and I are FaceBooking/texting each other in the same house or the same room?

    I am just kidding of course. We all need a little distraction now and then but this example shows that maybe it is the norm rather than the exception, just like my kid would say “No Target!” if I said something about going shopping.

    Seriously, good reminders in this post.

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  3. As much as I might kid, I actually LIKE to be with my children. My husband gets jealous sometimes. I know that soon they will be gone off living their own lives. I want to savour every moment I can.

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