Daily Prompt: If You Leave


“Should I stay or should I go now…”

Aren’t those the lyrics to a song? I think so; and I’ll search for it in a minute. (Oh yeah, it’s the Clash. It’s really about a relationship, but still slightly relevant.)

I’m not often prompted to follow the prompt of a Daily Prompt, but this one spoke to me because I’m at a crossroads — in the midst of a decision to stay or go…

…to the BlogHer Conference in July in San Jose.

I bought my pass the first day it was announced so I received an Early Bird discount and I have a Southwest ticket I need to use since it’s already paid for, but I’m not sure if I want to go.

I’m not sure what I’ll find there or if it’s worth it to attend.

In the beginning of my blogging journey, I was a newbie; gung-ho to write and purge and acquire readers and followers and belong to groups that seemed to be JUST LIKE ME.

Then I realized that I don’t really fit in.


I am unique.

Except for the animal loving, pet picture sharing, SAHM, love-to-shop crowd, I don’t have a whole lot in common with other mid-lifers.

For example, I don’t feel like sharing in great detail how my eyes are failing me, my cholesterol levels are high, or my vaginal dryness is preventing me from enjoying the penis of my choice.

I am by nature a private person and don’t feel the need to overshare on social media, plus my tugboat man hub won’t even let me take a pic of his face OR use our real names.

I don’t and never have had hot flashes, I work out at the gym pretty much every day, and I have the agility and flexibility of a twenty-year-old — one who isn’t stuck to her iPhone 24/7.

For the record, I have great cholesterol levels, I’ve always worn glasses or contacts so nothing new there to complain about, and the only meds I take on a regular basis is Levoxyl for a slightly low performing thyroid.

I thought I could make a go of monetizing my blog, but I don’t really think most BRANDS find me representative of any demographic, so there goes that dream. I don’t have a lot brand loyalty (just Chanel haha).

Except for occasional retail therapy/shopaholic excursions, I’m a pretty thrifty gal, grow our own veggies, bake from scratch, and I drive a thirty-year-old vehicle.

What’s the point of going to a blogging conference?

The other attendees include women whom I naively thought were going to be part of a joyous and nurturing community of other writer/bloggers –but are really just midlife mean girls.

There’s a level of snarky schadenfreude competitive behavior that is very distasteful; not what I expected.

There are more and more female bloggers grasping for whatever dollars are out there, a huge pool of women jumping up and down, shouting “choose me, choose me!”, vying to be the wittiest, most outrageous, “Most Likely To Go Viral” and thereby fight their way to the top of the heap.

I didn’t hang with those girls in high school and I don’t find any kinship there now.

That’s not me.

This isn’t to say that I haven’t met some remarkable women that I totes respect and like and would love to hang with — and you know who you are…BUT I’m in the middle of a crossroads now.

So, do I stay or do I go?

As you can surmise, I’m a bit saddened and disenchanted.

My motivation to begin blogging was fueled by my DIL who told me I was funny and a good writer and I should  blog for exposure in that realm — to earn an income  by writing, something I could do from home while my tugboat man is out to sea for months at a time.

It sounded like a great idea, and a blogging conference seemed like a great opportunity to expand my knowledge and meet INDUSTRY EXPERTS, but now I just don’t know. I don’t seem to have the skills to crack the code. I’ve consulted with a couple of blogexperts and they both told me a blog needs a million views to be competitive. WTF? I thought my nearly 70,000 74,000 was pretty spectacular but I was wrong. Obviously.

Am I just scared to go by myself? Am I full of sour grapes?

What do YOU think? Should I stay or should I go?



Daily Prompt: If You Leave

by Krista on March 12, 2014

Life is a series of beginnings and endings. We leave one job to start another; we quit cities, countries, or continents for a fresh start; we leave lovers and begin new relationships. What was the last thing you contemplated leaving? What were the pros and cons? Have you made up your mind? What will you choose?

Photographers, artists, poets: show us CROSSROADS.

by Krista on March 12, 2014

Life is a series of beginnings and endings. We leave one job to start another; we quit cities, countries, or continents for a fresh start; we leave lovers and begin new relationships. What was the last thing you contemplated leaving? What were the pros and cons? Have you made up your mind? What will you choose?

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59 thoughts on “Daily Prompt: If You Leave

  1. I totally get why you’re on the fence about going. On one hand, it would be great to talk with all those people who make it look so darn easy. (I haven’t written in so long I don’t know if I even remember my log in info for my blog!) On the other hand, it would be meeting with a bunch of people with whom there is little common ground to discuss. ACK! Who wants to sit for days and try to make polite conversation… I think I’d rather stay home and contemplate why the living room needs painted again, chatting with my spider plant on why it refuses to send forth babies to be transplanted, and chastising the dog for removing and destroying yet another collar. 🙂


  2. There are probably sites where the attendees are commenting like crazy. See if any of those people have worldviews that mesh with yours that you want to hang out with.
    And since you have the tickets, may as well go.
    At the worst, you can shop in a whole different city!


  3. I totally understand and wasn’t that way in high school,either. I tend to go my own way and that is why I like your blog so much. Don’t see the need to conform. I also don’t think that you need a million viewers. Your DIL is right that you are funny and it shows in your posts. I personally think you wouldn’t have fun and you shouldn’t feel the need to conform. Maybe you could use the ticket for something else?


  4. I’m voting for “go.” You may very well meet some wonderful people. And if you’re not getting what you’d like out of the conference there’s always the lovely drive to beautiful Santa Cruz. They have some really great veg and veg friendly restaurants in Santa Cruz, and the vibe is really fun!


  5. Is the BlogHer conference about celebrating what women have to say and how they say it, or is it about how to make money off what we say? I would go if I could learn something about being a better writer, but not if it was about how to market what we write. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to make money off the blog, but the two of us write as our outlet and our thinking process.

    That whole mean girl thing in the blogging world…it’s a THING. You’re right.


  6. That’s my conflict with BlogHer too. Everything is PR oriented, which is fine, but that’s not why I blog. I don’t fit in offline with most people, plus there’s the whole introvert thing on top of it all.

    If I already had tickets (and you know, lived in Cali and could get there), I would go just to see, even if I ended up leaving early. (Plus I am sucker for free swag from vendors…as long as I don’t have to write about it 😉 )


    • Wow, leave early, now that’s another great idea, why didn’t I think that? Another thing about me is that i HATE to eat in front of strangers, holdover from days of anorexia, and I would prob just take food to my hotel room. Also, never stayed in a hotel alone, crazy, right, at my age?? I think all of you have given me such helpful tools to go with a renewed sense of purpose, I might just do it, still have a few months to stress about it! Wish you could be there, tho.


  7. My initial response was gonna be something encouraging and morale-boosting, and show a little jealousy about how they never, ever have blogging events anywhere near where I live. But then I went and looked at the conference website, the announcements of which Big Names would be keynote speakers, the tiered ticket pricing list that seems geared toward bloggers who make a five-figure salary from what they do, all the photos of people in nice suits that probably cost more than my entire day-job wardrobe…

    So now I’m bummed and feeling like an even tinier fish in a worldwide pond, but I’m wondering if maybe you should try it just this once so you can report back to us readers with all the lowdown on what really happens at these things. Call it the Enchanted Seashells Exposé 😀


    • Can i really use that title cos it’s freaking awesome?! I used to be a reporter a lifetime ago, so that is right up my alley. If I think that way, more as an observer than a participant, it will give me a whole new perspective. Thank you, my friend! Now I feel a better sense of purpose instead of thinking I’d have to get drunk and obnoxious like I hear tales about. I’m not really a “letting loose” kinda gal. I’m bummed cos i’ve been turned down for things cos I don’t have millions of clicks…YOU write QUALITY content, very well written, thought out, and interesting. YOU need a book deal. There.


      • Extremely nice of you to say. Right now I’m nowhere near the profitable million-click clique, but we’ll see what the future holds. 🙂 But yeah, by all means, the title is yours, and I look forward to seeing you use it well! My wife and I have been admitted to plenty of events where we were more like detached observers than actual fans. Sometimes we’ve been pleasantly surprised and enjoyed ourselves. Sometimes…uh, not so much. Either way, it’s something else we can share with others!


  8. “if I stay there will be trouble…if I go it will be double…” who the heck sings that?
    mean girls suck, and I have a theory that if you are displaying mean girl behavior as an adult it is because you are a permanent B team player. Ignore them, go to the blogging event and enjoy (then please post about it as I am curious too!)


    • Ha ha, hub says the clash sings that one too, too funny, girl! Well, if you were there (or Megan) , I know I’d have an ally, but I’m not used to entering the den of the lion without back up haha. You are so right; you know what’s going on as soon as you enter a room, right? I will hold my head up high (if I go) and be my sparkly self, and I know at least a couple of friendZ are going, so I should be OK. Yes, I’ll blog about it, but it might not be all smiles 🙂


  9. Just go to see if you can meet any interesting persons who shares your beliefs, and if you don’t feel you can have any chemistry with the people there, you can just leave early to catch up with some window-shopping nearby! Depends very much on your personalty. Are you the introvert or extrovert type? As for me, I have lower my expectations about blogging because Google has been giving lots of people hell, in its attempt to promote its advertised search business.


  10. Go to the blogging event! It will be fun because you’ll be there. Plus, most of the girls (mean and otherwise) are there because they’re not making any moola off of their blog. None of us are. Pack all of your fabulous Cha Cha, take your camera and fill us all in on what we’re missing out on. And if you have any issues with mean girls, I can be the meanest and biggest of them all when someone is f’ing with a precious friend. Call on me! XOXO


  11. What a dilemma. I laughed about the dryness!! Get in line! But, am also wondering where to next with this blogging as I don’t have any aspirations to write a book or make money off this bit of fun aaaannnnd I don’t have a quarter of your traffic. I agree with others. Go and report back.


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