That’s the question (with apologies to William Shakespeare).
Quick post:
There’s a lively discussion on NextDoor about a woman who was walking on a local trail with her nine-year-old son when he needed to relieve himself and did so a few feet off the trail in the bushes.
This is not a remote trail, it’s pretty much in the city, paved and well-traveled.
Apparently a woman stopped to stare and made the boy feel uncomfortable. There were quite a few negative comments directed toward the woman who (allegedly) was looking, comments like “mind your own business”…
Mine seems to be the ONLY comment that talked about the possibility that it might be inappropriate for a boy that age to urinate in public.
In my opinion, I think this would be a different story if it was a toddler in the middle of toilet training, but a nine-year-old is too old for that behavior.
Normally I don’t respond to NextDoor because it’s a dark hole like Facebook, but I felt compelled to share my thoughts.
What if it was a nine-year-old girl? Does that change anything?
Obviously, they were in plain sight. I wouldn’t want my son or my grandkids to see someone else’s body parts or something that should be private.
What if there was a predator around?
I’ve hiked a lot in many different wild places and had to find a secret spot myself, but this location isn’t a forest or a remote mountain trail. It’s a mile-long walkway paralleling the railroad tracks with houses and windows all around.
Your opinion?
Enchanted Seashells by Princess Rosebud 
It seems that when we come into the city, we are asked to leave our Nature at the door. Does the kid have a bladder issue? No difference if a girl or boy, though I gather that comment right there might get struck by the lightning charge of People out there that I am suggesting to put a girl in a potentially dangerous place by saying that.
When you go you have to go. There is certainly discretion, and hold it, though there is also the exception, within city limits, where people shame with, “You should have planned better.” I heard that a lot until I was 8 1/2 to 9 until the bladder reconstruction surgeries I had at 4 1/2 and 5 1/2 jump-started my body to take.
Maybe, we should all wear depends under our spandex when going out in public? 🙂
Yes, This IS a serious issue. It’s also an issue that draws a lot of shame-poison out of people to direct to others. I gather he wasn’t facing the sidewalk and writing his name?
LikeLike
No, I don’t think shaming children is ever a good idea, but yes, the thought is that the mom should have done what all moms do before an outing, “everybody go pee first!” and if it’s an emergency for whatever reason, his mom should have made sure he was far enough away NOT to be seen by all the people that did see, so it’s the mom’s fault for not properly protecting her son from the eyes and judgement of strangers. Never the child’s fault.
LikeLiked by 1 person
PS my child psychologist friend said it’s too old for public urination and mom didn’t handle it properly.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Again, too old for public urination in the city limits where we’ve lost Nature. In Nature you what you do. I can’t agree with your child Psychologist friend about 9 being too old. It depends on the physiology of the person. I DO agree, though, that the Mom (manager of the situation) did not run the proper interference to protect the privacy of her child.
Though, even in Nature I advise to bury it or make sure it’s in under rocks. Human elimination is often too (nitrogen) hot, kills plants and such, takes a one time to compost to fertilizer level.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I guess my issue is only with the parent who didn’t properly protect her child from whoever was close enough to see. I would never shameblame the boy. BTW my son said 9 was too old unless it was an absolute emergency and then he would make sure to find a very private/secure location. So there you have it. Straight from the original Angel Boy.
LikeLiked by 1 person
🙂 And, there have been times where, untrue to the emergency exception words above… Lol … WELL, now BACK HOME TO CHANGE CLOTHES.
LikeLiked by 1 person
And that’s OK too. Happened with my son and with grandson, not anything to worry about. It was the attitude of the mom that pissed me off more than anything. Her lack of care for her son in that situation made him experience embarrassment, where, if she had taken better care to choose a different place, no one would have seen and she wouldn’t have felt like she had to get allies on NextDoor.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yup. I agree. Someone may not be sovereign anywhere else i their lives, though they owe it to their kids, if not themselves, to PROTECT the kiddos, especially from shame. That stuff’s a nasty Tar Baby (Brer Rabbit).
LikeLiked by 1 person
I don’t believe I ever read that book so I can’t honestly say I understand the connection, but I’m a fierce momma/grandmomma bear and will always protect and defend my cubs.
LikeLiked by 1 person