Daily Prompt: Cliche

Well, kinda, sorta. When is a cliche not a cliche? When you ignore the Daily Prompt? Or reinterpret it? Am I a cliche? Oh well. Carry on…

Clichés become clichés for a reason. Tell us about the last time a bird in the hand was worth two in the bush for you. 

My brain wasn’t able to process that whole concept today–my ability to think has been hampered by too much Oscar news–from Anne Hathaway‘s “nipple-gate” to Kristen Stewart‘s limp (and possibly 420 friendly pre-Oscar fun) to Seth McFarland as host, I need a day or so to wrap my brain around anything more profound than wishing with every fiber of my being that one day Tina Fey and Amy Poehler really will host everything.

cranky_old_ladyBecause of my retail therapy disaster on Friday, I felt frustrated, unfulfilled, and downright cranky.

The best cure I know of (for mostly everything) is to work outside in our yard.

Listening to the birds and burying my hands in the soil (even our horrible SoCal cement) never
fails to lift my spirits.

Somehow this might–but probably won’t–tie in–even loosely–with today’s Daily Post prompt.

Among the many different types of birds in our area; Goldfinches, Scott’s Orioles, woodpeckers, House Finches, Scrub Jays, and sparrows, a new bird came to visit and eat raw almonds on our deck. Hi, buddy! A couple minutes later,  I heard the shrill call of a hawk and snapped a pic high up in a eucalyptus tree. Okay, that’s two birds–not in a bush–but two birds!

hawktreebirdondeck

I started at the top of the hill where we’ve planted all California natives. Our recent rains made the weeds grow like crazy.

I brought a boat cushion to sit on and pulled and pulled. In between the weeds were dozens of baby sage and buckwheat sprouts. My tugboat man is a great helper in the yard but his philosophy is more of slash and burn. It takes patience and a love for newborn plants to carefully pull only the weed while gently nurturing the babies.
sageonhillcrazycactus

Snow in SoCal! 

snowfromyard2When I took a break and looked up, I saw snow! I zoomed my little Canon as much as it would go and took a pic. It’s at least fifty miles away–amazing! I didn’t realize that the power lines would show so prominently; they’re pretty far away, too. Our view was really spectacular before the developers ruined everything and built all those houses.

It’s Spring! Temps were in the seventies this weekend with the bluest blue sky.

Apple blossoms

Apple blossoms

New Zealand Tea Tree

New Zealand Tea Tree

Acacia in bloom

Acacia in bloom

Sweet Pea Bush flower

Sweet Pea Bush flower

Sweet Pea Bush  & Rosemary

Sweet Pea bush & rosemary and lots of rocks. Oh, and bunnies, too.

The icing on the cake of my weekend was this butterfly. She let me get within inches of her and posed for her money shot. That’s MY Oscar winner!butterfly

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I tried out for The Next Food Network Star-Sunday Confessions

NextfoodnetworkstarA couple years ago I tried out for The Next Food Network Star but I didn’t make it past the first audition. Apparently, they just weren’t quite ready for a mouthy little vegetarian.

No really, everyone with the production was super nice. They told me I’d fit in well with their team in New York. I’m never going to move there, but it was nice to hear that anyway.

tina-fey-amy-poehlerTina Fey and Amy Poehler ought to host everything. Forever. Watching the Golden Globes makes me think of all the movies I haven’t been in and a few that I was in. Briefly.

I envision myself in the audience at the GG as a nominee and then hearing my name called. I know that anyone who has ever acted at all has practiced their acceptance speech just like me–in the bedroom in front of the mirror, with a head toss and a shaky voice and a tear to wipe away.

My tugboat man has a problem with his truck that necessitated a trip to an auto parts store. We’re toying with the idea of a camping trip to the Grand Canyon–I’ve never been–so we def need a working vehicle. There’s a TJ Maxx across the street from the O’Reilly Auto Parts so I decided to come along for the ride. Hubs dropped me off at TJ and said he’d call me when he was done to come back and pick me up. Perfect. Way better than having him come with me or killing me slowly by forcing me to go to the auto parts store with him. SNORE.

On a completely different topic and because I just heard Lena Dunham mention him–I’m two degrees away from Chad Lowe. A very good friend in college used to  have wild sex with him up in LA. Which means I’m three degrees away from Rob Lowe. Wheeeee!

So…Hubs called me to let me know he was done with buying the spark plugs and blah blah blah, and I should wait out front TJ Maxx for him to pick me up.

When he drove up, I opened the door and he said, “How much for a [insert sexual act here]?”

prostitute pickupIt’s always special when your hubs thinks you’re a prostitute, right?

As an accomplished actress, I fell right into the role.

I’m a natural, you might say.

My answer? A Chanel Grand Shopper Tote, matching wallet, and a vintage 2.50 carat Australian opal ring surrounded with diamonds. Meow.
opal diamond ring