Heart/wrecked

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Like a ship that runs aground because of low tide or unseen rocks or fog or navigational errors, our beautiful heart can be damaged when blood flow is restricted or when it flows unregulated.

Heart/wrecked.

I grew up hearing the term, “Stress kills.”

I was never quite sure what that meant, but then I did when it happened to me.

Uniquely & Brilliantly Adorned: Can Your Job Kill You?
http://www.uniquelyandbrilliantlyadorned.com

After a seemingly nonstop barrage of a personal stressful situation–like a ship hitting the rocks over and over again–it all finally took an undeniable toll on my physical health.

One of my favorite places to live is in the state of Denial, but I’ve been forced to temporarily move to a new town called Reality. Hopefully, I’ll just visit there for a bit until I can come home again.

After experiencing some intermittent and strangely terrifying heart pains, I went to the doc who took my blood pressure and was concerned about the results. It was super high. I had always had enviably LOW blood pressure since I exercise regularly, am vegan and never smoked, so this raised concerns.

Over the course of a couple weeks, my BP was checked daily and it stayed consistently high; dangerously high, which only made me more anxious and more stressed, and at one of the office visits, I started hyperventilating and had a panic attack. (Super embarrassing for the doc and absolutely mortifying for me.)

This led to an order for an Echocardiogram along with all the other heart-focused tests. The echo was done at a local hospital–a definite trigger. No one wants to go to a hospital at any time, but especially during Covid. It seemed like I was being admitted, with a wrist band and lots of little stickers, and I was devastated.

I almost bolted out of the front door at that point, but I persevered. I can share with you that it’s a scary time when you have to figure out why you don’t feel great. I’ve been a medical advocate for several loved ones, but it’s radically more difficult when you have to care for yourself. Poor me.

The technician was amazing, especially considering I tormented her with a million questions. I know enough about medical stuff to see that she was concentrating on a certain area of my heart. I really appreciated her patience with me and her detailed explanations during the hour-long ordeal.

The results showed a dilated aortic root valve and regurgitation of the mitral valve.

Risk Adjustment Coding Academy- Coding Focus

What this means is that the accumulation of stress and panic attacks and PTSD that I’ve endured during the last four years manifested medically and physically and caused structural damage to my heart.

Mitral valve regurgitation - Symptoms and causes - Mayo Clinic

“Severe physical or emotional stress increases blood pressure to the point where the tensile limit of the aortic tissue is overwhelmed, causing the rupture.”

“Over time, certain conditions, such as high blood pressure, can cause your heart to work harder, gradually enlarging your heart’s left ventricle.”

“Mitral valve regurgitation can cause complications such as atrial fibrillation, in which the atria of the heart don’t contract well. This leads to increased risk of stroke. Also, elevated blood pressure in the lungs (pulmonary artery hypertension).”

Hypertension makes the blood push harder against the valve and causes it to dilate, enlarge, and that’s pretty much the same scenario for the mitral valve, which seems to be the cause of the intermittent chest pain.

I’ll need to be monitored regularly because if I can’t control the stress/blood pressure and the valves stretch to a dangerous size, the only solution is surgical intervention–or death.

Reducing stress and hypertension can possibly keep the valves from enlarging any further, but the damage is done–nothing will make them reduce in size back to normal, except surgery.

Let me tell you that it’s true. Stress kills.

Now I’m off to change course, take some magnesium, eat more beets, meditate, calm down and regulate my breathing so that I don’t have a stroke or an aneurysm.

Photo by Daria Shevtsova on Pexels.com

Heart/wrecked.

Shipwrecked.

Colors of The Cosmos

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The sky is filled with stars, invisible by day. Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

Between rainstorms, the sky around here has been especially lovely.

The rain stopped for a bit and I went for a walk before it got too dark. If I could paint, this is what it would look like.

This morning after an unexpectedly heavy shower, I was able to spot a rainbow before it completely disappeared.

“I’d rather see the world as a rainbow than endless shade of gray.” Amani Abbas






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Love is Love is Love is Love

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“Ah, penny, brown penny, brown penny, I am looped in the loops of her hair.”

From Brown Penny by W.B. Yeats

Be You

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Finally, the rains have begun. It’s a good time for a little self reflection along with some deep closet purging, sort of a sad but keep busy kind of day.

Be a witness, not a judge.
Focus on yourself, not on others.
Listen to your heart, not to the crowd.
Rumi

Be a witness, not a judge.
Focus on yourself, not on others.
Listen to your heart, not to the crowd — Rumi 🤍

As I clean/purge, I’m listening to Leon Russell (of course) and his song, Manhattan Island Serenade, is perfect for a rainy day. Fact: there was a real thunderstorm while he was recording and Leon included it. Why? Because he’s the Master of Space and Time, that’s why…

Leon Russell, Master of Space and Time. Rest in Peace, Power, and Music

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Today is the anniversary of Leon’s death, November 13, 2016.

Here’s where it began — Leon was sixteen years old in this KOTV photo from the 1958 March of Dimes Telethon. Left to right, Tommy Crook, drummer Chuck Blackwell, Jimmy ‘Junior’ Markham, Bill Raffensperger and (Leon) Claude Russell Bridges.

From Tulsa Today

Leon Russell will always be the one and only visionary and musical magician, The Master of Space and Time, and we’re still mourning him.

A Song For You is one of the most beautiful and iconic songs ever composed and no one can perform it like Leon.

Rest in peace, power, and music.

Another Day, Another Injury, Another Life Lesson NOT Learned

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I’m searching for whom or what I can blame for my latest stupid injury, like maybe Mercury Retrograde or the 11/11 portal?

I surely don’t think I would set an intention for — nor manifest — bodily damage, so I guess I’ll have to accept 100% of the blame for this one, which I knew was going to happen seconds before it did.

Here’s the scenario: I was planning to step off the deck, about a foot or so, onto some pavers. The wind had blown a small rug onto the pavers but at the same time that I chose NOT to bend down and remove it, I had the thought that there was a real and distinct possibility that I couldn’t see where I planned to step down, so I REALLY should take the two seconds to remove the rug — but I did not, and there I was, once again on the ground because I had not only awkwardly trapped my foot between two pavers that were obscured by that damn rug, but, as I fell, the edge of one of them hit me HARD at the exact location of my previous split-open shin, I then fell on my wrist (one I had broken a few years ago) and sprained the other ankle as it folded under me, an ungraceful vision, most definitely NOT a pretty sight; not princess-like in any way.

Ouch.

Covered in dirt and leaves, I sat there for a while like I always do, assessing the damage and shaking my head at my own stupidity.

The scar from before looks pretty angry and a bit bloody. There’s already a bump and a lump and is blooming some ugly bruises, but no broken bones this time, at least I hope not. I can live with the sprained wrist/ankle; at this point we’re old friends.

When will I ever learn?

Somebody once said “a definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result.” It’s been wrongly attributed to Einstein, but some people think it’s from Rita Mae Brown or a 1981 Narcotics Anonymous pamphlet.

Maybe insanity is not exactly my issue, but I hope one day I learn not to be so careless and impulsive about my personal safety.

Mad Dogs and Englishmen

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Mad Dogs and Englishmen, the 1971 concert film mostly about a Joe Cocker tour, was just released on YouTube. The timing of this release coincides with Joe Cocker being inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame on Saturday.

Joe Cocker was an English singer who rose to fame in the 1960s after his performance at Woodstock. Known for his distinctive voice and dynamic stage presence, Cocker was a gifted interpreter of other artists’ work. His cover of the Beatles’ “With a Little Help from My Friends” at Woodstock became his signature song and an anthem of the era. Cocker’s other notable covers include “Feelin’ Alright”, “The Letter”, and Leon Russell’s “Delta Lady”.

Leon of course

Joe Cocker’s management had organized a tour of the U.S. for him but he was left without a band. His producer at A&M records was Denny Cordell, who happened to be starting his own label with Leon Russell called Shelter Records.

Cordell and Cocker asked Leon to assemble a band for the tour, and Leon agreed only if they could do it like no one had done before.

Through his many connections to outstanding musicians through thousands of studio sessions with the Wrecking Crew, Leon was quickly able to gather together an ensemble of more than twenty musicians, including three drummers, and a backing choir. Leon was the lead guitarist, pianist, arranger, band leader, and musical director. 

 Leon said, “I will put together the band and I’ll do the arrangements and I’ll do everything but I have to be driving this bus. Nothing will go on unless I say so.” https://musicdayz.com/

Leon also insisted that a camera crew follow the tour, which became the Mad Dogs and Englishmen documentary film, one of the essential rock n roll films that depicted that era of music.

It became the Leon Russell show because his powerful charisma was undeniable.

From musician Chris Stainton, “I admire Leon Russell so much. He’s an exquisite piano player, especially in that Louisiana style. He was so hot then, at the top of his playing ability. When Leon played piano, I’d play organ, and then I’d switch to piano when Leon took over on guitar.”

The tour would become legendary and the ensuing live album would reach #2 on the U.S. Billboard Top 200. Performances of The Band’s “The Weight,” Traffic’s “Feelin’ Alright,” and The Box Tops’ “The Letter” highlighted the setlist that was capped off by a wild and rousing rendition of Leon’s own “Delta Lady.” Leon and Joe would duet on their version of Bob Dylan’s “Girl from the North Country.”

The tour served as an opportunity for Leon to showcase his own material, as he would be given stage time to perform “Hummingbird” and “Dixie Lullaby,” which were both to be released on his debut album. 

Mad Dogs and Englishmen introduced Leon to the world. Although headlined by Joe Cocker, it wouldn’t have been possible without the visionary genius of Leon Russell as Master of Space and Time.

While the tour catapulted both Leon and Cocker into the pinnacles of rock n roll stature, the magnitude served as a rift between the two of them, and they would choose to pursue their careers separately from that point forward.

To this day, however, the two will be forever connected as having orchestrated one of the great happenings in the history of rock music. (From LeonRussell.com)

My favorite part starts at 4:03 and it’s Leon taking charge just being Leon and leading Will The Circle Be Unbroken.

I don’t know who owns the rights to the rest of the video, but there reallyreally needs to be another documentary, this time showcasing Leon Russell’s live performances, including Hummingbird, Dixie Lullaby, and the duet with Joe Cocker of Dylan’s Girl From The North Country, along with Leon’s amazing arrangement of Cry Me A River.

Here’s the duet:


All Alone

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…they opened their wings
softly and stepped
over every dark thing.
Mary Oliver

Sitting at the top of a tree near the lagoon, this lone egret seems deep in thought and as bewildered as I am about the time change; like why is it almost dark at 5pm?

Same, egret, same.

Butterfly 🦋 Memory

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“Trade me a memory,” the butterfly said
A memory that’s heavy and harsh,
And I’ll sit and I’ll listen and try my sweet best
To lighten the load on your heart.

From a poem by Becky Hemsley+Art by Amanda Cass

November’s Special Supermoon

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I’m freaked out by Daylight Savings Time. I spend way too long trying to figure what is lost or gained. Nothing makes sense to me. I know I wrote about it before, but TIME itself unsettles me. Sometimes I think that I think too much haha.

On top of THAT timely adjustment, we are experiencing the Supermoon in Taurus as the closest, brightest, and strongest Full Moon of the year, filling the sky with magnetic light that amplifies everything we think, feel, and desire. As a Taurus, I really feel the energetic pull and my dreams are vivid and CRAZY.

Taurus, ruled by Venus, governs stability, wealth, love, and comfort built through patience and effort. When a Supermoon activates this sign, energy transforms quickly, and manifestation becomes clear, direct, and immediate.

Every emotion, thought, and intention carries amplified strength under this influence, shaping what unfolds in our reality with precision. Energy responds directly to our attention, so focus on what deserves to grow.

This Supermoon opens a portal for divine manifestation and real change. What you call in begins forming fast, aligning our life with our higher path. Challenges fade as karmic cycles close, creating stability where uncertainty once lived.

What we envision begins taking physical form. Everything we have been feeling attracts evidence through synchronicity, communication, and opportunity. The Universe matches our vibration with accuracy, reflecting our inner world through events that arrive with perfect timing.

The message of this Moon is simple: our energy instructs the Universe. What we focus on expands, what we fear delays, and what we believe becomes real.

Taurus teaches manifestation through action. This sign builds what it dreams, one clear decision at a time, never rushing the process yet always creating steady progress. The Supermoon magnifies this lesson, asking us to remove distractions and commit fully to what matters.

We may feel inspired to declutter, finish something left undone, or step away from energy that drains our focus. Each decision we make now strengthens our foundation and carries long-term influence, so move with intention and clarity.

Manifestation gains power when what you say, believe, and do all align completely. Taurus energy rewards consistency, loyalty, and persistence that never wavers.

This is a time for focus and declaration. Write down what is desired as if it already happened. Speak with confidence, visualize success, and take immediate action that proves belief. The Universe moves faster when we act from certainty rather than waiting for signs.

Taurus connects spiritual alignment with practical action, teaching that belief holds power when expressed through consistency. Every step becomes magnetic, drawing new blessings into form.

By the time the next Supermoon rises, what is set in motion now will begin taking visible shape. Goals will show clear signs of progress and what we release will feel lighter to carry.

Keep energy grounded in gratitude as this light reaches its highest strength. The Moon magnifies thought and emotion, turning both into results that arrive fast. Gratitude multiplies blessings, opening paths that effort alone could never reach.

Move with purpose, make firm decisions, and trust the power of our actions. Keep our energy clean, our focus strong, and our belief steady, because the Universe is responds to every signal we send out. (Curated rom Alex Myles)

Day After Day

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“Day After Day” was Badfinger’s biggest hit.

George Harrison invited Leon Russell to play piano on Badfinger’s third album in the summer of 1971. The piano part complemented Pete Ham’s and Harrison’s dual slide guitars on “Day After Day.” (Church Studio)

I always loved the way the piano sounded on this tune and when I found out that it was Leon I was blown away. It’s like so many songs I’ve loved over the years only to discover that Leon’s contribution was the magic that made them so memorable.

“He just sat down, closed his eyes, and played the part in one take.”

According to sound engineer Richard Lush, Russell nailed the “Day After Day” piano line almost instinctively.

I’m repeating a comment from YouTube about this recording. “George Harrison asked Leon Russell to add the piano accompaniment. They played the tracks that had already been laid down, as Leon sat in the studio by himself. After listening to it once, he sat at the piano with his eyes closed. George thought he had fallen asleep and said Leon’s name a couple of times over the speaker. Leon held his hand up and then a moment later told them he was ready and to roll tape. He played the part in one take. Don’t know if it’s true, but a cool story.”

Russell – like so many greats – had an almost spiritual sense for when not to play, and on “Day After Day” he seems to materialize only at the emotional inflection points. He doesn’t play on the piece – he haunts it, and once done, disappears from the song again like incense in a draught. He is a spectral presence, and this plays on my imagination as a strange portent for the tragedy that would befall Badfinger the band. https://danegiraud.substack.com/

Of course it’s true. I’m not at all surprised. Leon was a visionary, a musical genius, and will always and forever be the master of space and time.

PS I know there was a tragic end to Badfinger but this isn’t an exposé, just another example of the hundreds of songs that were all the better because of Leon Russell’s magic touch.