I don’t often write about sadness, sad things, darkness; the shadowy and often ephemeral side of LIFE, but someone I know just died and I didn’t see her before it happened. I’m upset with myself because I didn’t make the time to visit as soon as I heard she had an incurable illness.

I’m upset with myself that I didn’t do more to be a better friend. There are reasons that truly make sense; her life took a path that was unsafe and even dangerous, and it was unhealthy to perpetuate a relationship with someone who changed so completely from the person I had originally befriended, but I still would have liked to have said or done something to let her know that I hoped she would recover — that I was thinking about her.

The day that I finally planned to reach out came too late because she did NOT recover and that makes me sad, too — for her, and for her son who lost his mom far too soon.

So… what is death? Scientifically, the heart stops beating, the lungs stop inhaling and exhaling; pupils become fixed and dilated.

But if someone remembers you with love, did you really die? Are memories the thing that keeps us alive?

I have no idea, but I think that’s enough depressing rumination for one day. If a similar situation arises, I hope I’ll remember to reach out before time runs out, because you just never know…

Rest in peace, friend.