IMHO, this is one of the best descriptions of what it means to hold space.
There will be times when you have to release and trust the awakening process. It may not be an easy thing to do, especially when a connection exists. Let others know you are there, offer support when asked and hold space for them in a kind, loving manner. The rest is up to them and The Universe.
Holding Space The Creator Writings, one of my fave blogs.
I had heard the term but couldn’t wrap my brain around it, and as a slightly OCD Taurus who likes answers to questions and details and timeframes to be specific in order to feel safe, holding space is a confusing and nebulous and ephemeral concept, but I’ve been determined to understand because it resonates deeply with me. I’m relentless when it comes to understandING.
It’s a way of not doing anything when I’m all about doING and fixING and solvING. (All of those ‘ing” words that we’re trained to edit OUT of our writings.)
To hold space is to do nothING but BE.
BeING.
That very beINGness of taking a breath and stayING silent and havING faith and trust that everything is happenING as it should–well, that’s nearly impossible for me.
But here I am. I am. So hum.
Excellent post!
And yes, so many preach, “Lose the ‘ing’ and ‘ly’ words,” and Mark Twain rolls in his grave with veracity every time someone uses ‘very.’ Thanks for defiantly raising the flag to ALL CAPS YOUR INGs.
Seems someone would be warranted to hold space in an Editor’s support group for silly editING gimmicks. They work sometimes, though in regards to always, not often VERY well.
I am resonatING with your lead-in quote from The Creator Writings, especially in the hands-off-not-your-turn-to-play, just play Powerful Witness letting the person know you are there if need be, though if not asked, you will not control-issue reach in with unsolicited help… will play good boundaries like a sentry to protect the value of THEIR space on their terms without question. Our reasons would be unreasonable as it is their journey to process, and their process to journey.
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Thank you so much! Wise words, too, from you and Mark Twain. I always referred to myself not as a helicopter mom, but a drone mom, as a copter was too far away haha. Learning to allow others space to grow or not- very hard for me.
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Wonderful distinction. I hear you, wanting your thumb in the pie so to speak. Sometimes it’s more important to know what you do than preclude your actions. 🙂 There’s a ‘patience of a gardener’ gig going on in the heartbeat of stepping in vs not. My joke is that I never told my dahlias to hurry, only watered them. If they could speak, and I did tell me to, they’d’ve ignored me. 🙂
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Yes, holding space was one of those terms that was confusing for a long time. For me, holding space for another person means simply being present for them. Sitting in a space of nonjudgment of them. Allowing. Witnessing. Validating. Not trying to solve or fix. Just being in the moment.
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What I’ve learned is that even if I’m usually right, and I usually am, I have to let other people do what they’re going to do. Even if I see where their choice or path is going to take them, I can’t intervene and make it all better. They need to learn their own lesson. Very hard lesson for ME is to let go.
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Ah, yes. Letting go.
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NOT one of my character traits. I can fix anything until the day I couldn’t.
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