Perfection versus Procrastination

Honestly, I’m having the hardest time launching the new blog I’ve been working on and teasing everyone with…

I don’t like the theme; I want to upgrade, but don’t want to spend the money.

I’ve gone through DOZENS of free theme demos and nothing feels right, it’s like Goldilocks trying out all those beds, but I haven’t gotten to the JUST RIGHT part, so my dilemma becomes this…should I proceed as it is or wait?

This is so totally ME; not being able to DO anything unless it achieves a certain level of perfection, which is mostly paralyzing, cos then I never do anything, which then leads to another case of procrastination.

It’s so ANNOYING!

HELP!!!

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Lessons Learned From Blogging

I’ve been blogging since 2012 and have come to the conclusion that I don’t know much about a lot of things, but I’ve learned a few things about myself…

  • I’ve learned a lot about HOW to blog; how to set up a WordPress account and all the other socializations necessary for my words to obtain that all important reach: Twitter, Facebook, Pinterest, Google+, and Instagram (although I don’t have a smartphone so I can’t access that.)
  • I’m more tech-savvy than the average mid-lifer.
  • I’m not a joiner of tribes or any group that is inclusionary or exclusionary. I tried, but failed, to join various groups and even attended a blogging convention, but alas, I tap my six-inch stilettos to the beat of a different drum…
  • I like to go rogue; be myself, be maverick-y, express my own views, and not blindly agree with anyone.
  • I’ve learned to become more confident (not that I was ever a shrinking violet lol.)
  • I’ve discovered that there aren’t a lot of vegan, animal defending, Jewish princess-y fashionista, workout junkie, empty nest midlife bloggers, so I fit a very narrow demographic.
  • I don’t write about my sex life (or lack of it.)
  • I don’t write about uber cringy personal topics. It’s not that I don’t HAVE any problems or issues to face and endure, but I keep things mostly private (the opposite of what makes a blog go viral).
  • I don’t husband-bash, except for gentle teasing, and that’s only after I’ve asked tugboat man whether he minds if I make him the topic of humor.
  • On a positive note, blogging has helped me sharply define what I DO care about: protecting and defending animals, standing up for what’s right and being extremely vocal about what I believe is WRONG. Like fur and hunting. WRONG WRONG WRONG.
  • And shopping. I dearly love to shop. And Chanel. I love Chanel, I really do. I’m an enigma.

a-little-confession-on-confession-day

For the last few months or so (or maybe even longer) I’ve noticed that my blog numbers are way down like half of last year!!…readership and interest seems to be dwindling and not building to that overwhelming tipping point where I become the next break out star like Arianna Huffington or Jenny Lawson.

Things aren’t supposed to go this way, right?

But I’m being completely honest, confessing as befits my blog title.

“Why”” I wonder to myself…

Why do you no longer love me?

Too princess-y?

Too tugboat-y?

Not enough seashells?

Too BORING?

Maybe none or maybe ALL of the above?

Anyway, it’s the perfect time for CH-CH-CH-CHANGES even though I don’t like change — I like when things stay the same — but not too much of a transmutation ( I LOVE that word.)

I’ve been working on creating a new blog with a slightly different format; it’s almost ready to hit the light of day!

Enchanted Seashells, Confessions of a Tugboat Captain’s Wife won’t disappear, but my focus will be directed more specifically to this fresh and shiny blog.

You’ll see soon enough.

WINK.

Changes  (David Bowie)

“…pretty soon now you’re gonna get older
Time may change me
But I can’t trace time
I said that time may change me
But I can’t trace time.”

Shhh…I have a secret

I do. Have a secret.

Not gonna tell.

Not yet.

But you’ll be the first to know.

Well, not the first, but high up on my list.

Maybe not super high on the list, but you definitely won’t be the LAST to know.

You can guess, but I’ll never tell until I do.

P.S. A good secret, nothing bad, neg, dark, sad.

Happy Wednesday!

Princess Rosebud’s EMPOWERING Solo Adventure

(Blogging from the train, which is OK except for spotty wifi and my paragraph edits aren’t working, so this post won’t look exactly right.)


“It’s never too late to become empowered” she said.

Well, thank you very much for that unwanted opinion.
At 6:15 a.m., I was the first one in line when the Amtrak Station opened up.
I’m on my way to Santa Barbara to meet my son/DIL and have a little camping and hiking vacation. This is something that tugboat man and I had been looking forward to, but alas, he was called back to work immediately upon arriving home, so I decided to be a BRAVE princess and venture forth into the big scary world all by myself.
What was I thinking??
Confession: I’m not much of a traveler. Although I do travel alone from time to time, mostly tugboat man and I are together and he takes care of everything and all I do is stand here or sit there and do as I’m instructed, moving from point A to point B.  It works out better that way for both of us if he takes the lead. I mean, he’s so GOOD at it, and it reduces my stress level (and his) if he does all the thinking.
But this adventure is all my own.
My son’s dad picked me up a little before 5:45 a.m. to give me a ride to the train station, which is why I was there bright and early at 6:15.
I had many questions for the Amtrak employee:
1. Where do I go?
2. Where will the train be?
3. How will I know it’s the right one?
4. Where will I sit?
5. Where will my son pick me up?
6. Where will I find my suitcase?
7. Will you lose my luggage?
I explained to her that I never travel alone and I’ve only taken the train one time twenty years ago, and that’s when she proceeded to give me a life lesson that I didn’t expect, didn’t ask for, and didn’t really need.
“I never travel alone.”
“Well, you DO travel, don’t you?”
“Yes, but when my husband and I travel, he takes care of everything”
That’s when she said, “It’s never too late to become empowered”
I have to admit her tone was ever-so-slightly snarky, and this was corroborated by the nice young man from the United States Marine Corps (whom I have attached myself to for dear life).
He was standing next to me listening to all of my questions and I believe that he felt sorry for me (reminded him of his mom) and felt like he was performing in the intereste of our national security to guide me on the train when it arrived, and now we’re sitting next to each other.
He’s on leave for Memorial Day to his family ranch in Los Osos.
Of course, I thanked him for his service and I must say that I feel very safe and in good hands until my son collects me from Baggage lol.
Stress level is high, but if I could make my way SOLO to Goettingen, Germany to stalk visit my son while he was there for his junior year abroad, I can certainly sit on a train for four hours with my own personal USMC escort, dontcha think?
After all, like I keep telling my Angel Boy, that umbilical cord will stretch, but will never evereverever BREAK.
There isn’t a place on earth he can go that I won’t follow.
I know that sounds like a threat, but it’s really not. It’s just a mother’s LOVE.
I stand corrected…an EMPOWERED mother’s love.
Here’s a few pics from the train…
Train1 train2 train3 train4

Grammar, Please! #petpeeve #wordlesswednesday #grammarpolice #grammarmatters

From “The Product” by Ice Cube

Just because I didn’t want to learn your grammar
you say I’m better off in the slammer.

walkcarlsbad1I planned to bring a red pen and cross out the offending apostrophe, but there’s plastic covering the sign, so all I could do was snap a pic.

From The Princess of Procrastination, Change Is In The Air

Resting ButterflyHave y’all ever wondered why my Etsy store never opened?

I would wonder that if I were you.

Have you ever wondered why I NEVER CHANGE my blog header or format or theme?

Or why my book is stuck at 35,000 words and is actually hiding UNDER MY BED so that I don’t have to see it and get stressed out?

I know the answer.

I’m the Princess of Procrastination.

I’m on the cusp of doing some thing.

I’m sitting RIGHT ON THE EDGE of things.

But nothing gets accomplished, mainly ‘cos I quit too soon and leave to do some retail therapy.

*sigh*

But.

There’s a quiet change just down the road.

I mean right around the corner.

If I squint real hard, off in the distance, I can visualize the birth of some transformations.

My little caterpillar-like life is going to morph into a butterfly. Of sorts.

Or maybe not.

No drama, no pressure.

But I can FEEL it.

SHIT MIGHT BE STARTING TO GET REAL.

Keep reading, continue to follow me, and hitch along for the ride.

Trust me. 

It MIGHT happen, who knows?

You’ve been warned.  


And I know he wasn’t singing about my particular circumstance, but it’s a classic anyway…

A Change Is Gonna Come, Sam Cooke, 1963

 

He Could Have Been a Serial Killer

Was I crazy to invite a man from the virtual world of blogging into our home?

Not a meet-up in a coffee shop; not at a public location where it’s safe, where we could arrive and depart without fear of being followed.

I didn’t even blink when I shared our address with this “friend”.

His online photo could have been fake; his writing just a ploy to lure a naive female to let down her guard and welcome him with open arms.

But there had to be trust on his end too, right?

He didn’t know what he was walking into — literally. He may have never been heard from again.

As it is, I think he could possibly be forever traumatized by the sheer number of seashells strewn on every shelf, adhering to most walls…

seashell mirror

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

He could have been a serial killer — to parrot my mom, who always cautioned me not to be too trusting, not to get into cars with strangers — you know, mom-speak.

My mom died long before the world of the internet connected those of us who might never have had their paths cross.

Although we didn’t know him at the time, this young man attended the same university as my son, and yes, we were probably only rows away from each others’ families on graduation day, but the internet facilitates these exact types of serendipitous human bridges.

So, on one of the hottest days of the year, the Jester himself, writer extroidanaire at The Matticus Kingdom (you really should follow his blog!) stopped by Casa de Enchanted Seashells to spend the afternoon with me and my tugboat man where I obnoxiously tried to stuff him full of food (Jewish mom syndrome).

Oh, and he’s a published author as well, with Fauxpocalypse: a collection of short fiction about the end of the world that wasn’t–available on Amazon.

There was lively conversation on all fronts and I can’t wait ’til he’s back in the area with his lovely wife and the Little Prince.

Nope, not a serial killer, but an awesome guy!

You were wrong this time, Mom!


Have you ever invited a stranger into your home? Was it a good or bad experience?

Trends in Toenail Fashion

Just saying “toenail” and “fashion” in the same sentence makes me feel all oooky and squeamish BUT I’m doing this for YOU —  my readers — as a public service to bring you the pertinent details and relevant information — especially since it’s officially summer and our feet are exposed in sandals and flip-flops.

Hold on, I need a sip of  yummy Stonecrop screw-top chardonnay before I continue…you might also want to prepare yourself with an adult beverage — I can wait.

This is where it all started. I saw this pic on Facebook, gagged a bit, threw up in my mouth a bit, shared it, and received TONS of commentary, more than is normally generated by a photo-share — and it fueled my determination to delve into the subject of extremely long toenails — I truly believe it’s reached the status of being POST-worthy.

Here ya go, what do YOU think?

feet

100% of the comments on my Facebook page were like this: “Eww”, “Disgusting”, “Yikes”, “OMG, those look like pterodactyl claws!”, “Chain saw!”, and “YUCK”.

Although, I’m not totally hating on the shoes. Who doesn’t love sparkle?

Could this be the NEXT BIG THING?

I’ve done a bit of armchair research. Apparently, having LONG toenails is a “THING”; a certain segment of society thinks it’s SEXY.

Check out this FB page if you don’t believe me and here’s a tip: MUTE the sound if you click on it…http://www.yevettenails.com/home.html

In many cultures, long toenails are as appreciated as long and manicured fingernails. Many women take great pride in their toenails, treating them with the same attention and concern as their fingernails.http://skincare.lovetoknow.com/Long_Beautiful_Toenails

You gotta check out this Pinterest page: http://www.pinterest.com/authormaxinep/freaky-long-toenails/

No way, it’s not for me!!!

Personally, I can think of a zillion reasons why that wouldn’t work for my lifestyle…I go to the gym and work out, can’t have those claws getting in the way of my jumping jacks or at kickboxing, right?

We hike; no way those monstrosities will fit in hiking shoes-or any shoes for that matter. It doesn’t seem possible to be an active, athletic person with those gnarly hooks.

Oh, and HYGIENE. That’s a big one.

Most importantly, I have no doubt that my tugboat man would NEVER again want to get all cuddly and romantic if he had to go to bed fearing a midnight slashing.

What do you think? 

Are YOU going to join this fashion trend?*************************************************************************************

Animals do it right.

 Bear claws and an adorable sloth.

 

 

 

 

Daily Prompt: If You Leave

http://www.brainlesstales.com/2010-11-23/fork-in-the-road
http://www.brainlesstales.com/2010-11-23/fork-in-the-road

“Should I stay or should I go now…”

Aren’t those the lyrics to a song? I think so; and I’ll search for it in a minute. (Oh yeah, it’s the Clash. It’s really about a relationship, but still slightly relevant.)

I’m not often prompted to follow the prompt of a Daily Prompt, but this one spoke to me because I’m at a crossroads — in the midst of a decision to stay or go…

…to the BlogHer Conference in July in San Jose.

I bought my pass the first day it was announced so I received an Early Bird discount and I have a Southwest ticket I need to use since it’s already paid for, but I’m not sure if I want to go.

I’m not sure what I’ll find there or if it’s worth it to attend.

In the beginning of my blogging journey, I was a newbie; gung-ho to write and purge and acquire readers and followers and belong to groups that seemed to be JUST LIKE ME.

Then I realized that I don’t really fit in.

THERE IS NO ONE JUST LIKE ME.

I am unique.

Except for the animal loving, pet picture sharing, SAHM, love-to-shop crowd, I don’t have a whole lot in common with other mid-lifers.

For example, I don’t feel like sharing in great detail how my eyes are failing me, my cholesterol levels are high, or my vaginal dryness is preventing me from enjoying the penis of my choice.

I am by nature a private person and don’t feel the need to overshare on social media, plus my tugboat man hub won’t even let me take a pic of his face OR use our real names.

I don’t and never have had hot flashes, I work out at the gym pretty much every day, and I have the agility and flexibility of a twenty-year-old — one who isn’t stuck to her iPhone 24/7.

For the record, I have great cholesterol levels, I’ve always worn glasses or contacts so nothing new there to complain about, and the only meds I take on a regular basis is Levoxyl for a slightly low performing thyroid.

I thought I could make a go of monetizing my blog, but I don’t really think most BRANDS find me representative of any demographic, so there goes that dream. I don’t have a lot brand loyalty (just Chanel haha).

Except for occasional retail therapy/shopaholic excursions, I’m a pretty thrifty gal, grow our own veggies, bake from scratch, and I drive a thirty-year-old vehicle.

What’s the point of going to a blogging conference?

The other attendees include women whom I naively thought were going to be part of a joyous and nurturing community of other writer/bloggers –but are really just midlife mean girls.

There’s a level of snarky schadenfreude competitive behavior that is very distasteful; not what I expected.

There are more and more female bloggers grasping for whatever dollars are out there, a huge pool of women jumping up and down, shouting “choose me, choose me!”, vying to be the wittiest, most outrageous, “Most Likely To Go Viral” and thereby fight their way to the top of the heap.

I didn’t hang with those girls in high school and I don’t find any kinship there now.

That’s not me.

This isn’t to say that I haven’t met some remarkable women that I totes respect and like and would love to hang with — and you know who you are…BUT I’m in the middle of a crossroads now.

So, do I stay or do I go?

As you can surmise, I’m a bit saddened and disenchanted.

My motivation to begin blogging was fueled by my DIL who told me I was funny and a good writer and I should  blog for exposure in that realm — to earn an income  by writing, something I could do from home while my tugboat man is out to sea for months at a time.

It sounded like a great idea, and a blogging conference seemed like a great opportunity to expand my knowledge and meet INDUSTRY EXPERTS, but now I just don’t know. I don’t seem to have the skills to crack the code. I’ve consulted with a couple of blogexperts and they both told me a blog needs a million views to be competitive. WTF? I thought my nearly 70,000 74,000 was pretty spectacular but I was wrong. Obviously.

Am I just scared to go by myself? Am I full of sour grapes?

What do YOU think? Should I stay or should I go?

http://youtu.be/GqH21LEmfbQ

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Daily Prompt: If You Leave

by Krista on March 12, 2014

Life is a series of beginnings and endings. We leave one job to start another; we quit cities, countries, or continents for a fresh start; we leave lovers and begin new relationships. What was the last thing you contemplated leaving? What were the pros and cons? Have you made up your mind? What will you choose?

Photographers, artists, poets: show us CROSSROADS.

by Krista on March 12, 2014

Life is a series of beginnings and endings. We leave one job to start another; we quit cities, countries, or continents for a fresh start; we leave lovers and begin new relationships. What was the last thing you contemplated leaving? What were the pros and cons? Have you made up your mind? What will you choose?

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A Sure-Fire Cure for the UnFreshly Pressed Blues

Dear WordPress, What Am I, Chopped Liver? received  a lot of views and commentary, and for that, I’m grateful.

I think that my slighly whiny, sour grap-y, mini-chip-on-my-shoulder rant resonated with the great un-Pressed in our blogging community.

A wise and wonderful new friend who blogs at SERENDIPITY Marilyn Armstrong -Seeking Intelligent Life on Earthused her magic fingers and creative mind to design an award that I’m ecstatic to be able to share with those I deem worthy, and that’s mostly EVERYBODY.

Read her post: Not So Freshly Pressed? Help is on the Way for more details.

I’m hopeful that we can start the ball rolling until everyone — everywhere — will feel appreciated and special!

The simple beauty of this award is that you don’t have to perform any task or answer any questions; YOU ARE SPECIAL JUST BECAUSE YOU ARE, and I like that a lot!

Please pass it on and share the love but…here’s a reminder from the creator of this award:

You can accept this and you do NOT have to give it to anyone else unless you want to. You can also do it eventually, when you have time. Don’t get stressed over it.  🙂


Here ya go for my first group of deserving bloogers.
I won’t stop until everyone is a recipient and we all feel like a winner.

 

Serendipity: http://teepee12.com
The Fur Files http://thefurfiles.com
She Walks Softly  http://wp.me/pfQBz-5wF
Our Growing Paynes http://wp.me/p2GO4t-va
Michelle at Play  http://wp.me/p1UOvK-2ac
Benzeknees  http://wp.me/p21uAA-WE
The Presents of Presence
Cowboys and Crossbones  http://cowboysandcrossbones.wordpress.com
Thematticuskingdom  http://wp.me/p2DEqM-Am
sagedoyle

YOU ARE A WINNER

……………………………………………………………………………………………………

Stop Wolf Hunts Now

“The greatness of a nation and its moral progress can be judged by the way its animals are treated.”
Ghandi

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