Pregnancy, Down Syndrome, and Reproductive Rights

Although I usually cloak myself in a filmy, gauzy haze of positivity, sometimes the real world slips through a crack or two.

Did you hear about the YouTube influencers who documented every part of their pregnancy, up to and including their decision to end the pregnancy?

Jesse Ridgway and his wife Ashley ended their pregnancy, and in a series of posts on the YouTuber’s Instagram Stories, Jesse said that they’d recently made the “difficult decision” to end Ashley’s pregnancy after receiving a fetal Down syndrome diagnosis.

“This week, my wife and I made the very difficult decision to terminate the pregnancy due to Trisomy 21,” wrote Jesse. “The choice was not made lightly.”

Down syndrome, also known as Trisomy 21, is a genetic disorder caused by the presence of all or part of a third copy of chromosome 21.

It’s usually associated with developmental delays, mild, moderate, or severe intellectual disability, and characteristic physical features.

Since they town-cried their controversial decision, it stirred up a hornet’s nest of the most vicious attacks against them, as well as from those who support them. People are saying he posted publicly so he needs to deal with the hatred. He tried to get attention and make money off of his unborn child. (However, thousands upon thousands of others document their pregnancy too, and for the same reasons.)

“Down Syndrome isn’t a ‘blessing,’ it is objectively s—ty from a health perspective,” Jesse claimed. “I didn’t realize just how rough it is for the child, let alone the family…more often than not, they would be fully dependent on others for the rest of their life.”

After posting about the loss of their unborn child, the couple was flooded with vitriolic comments, with critics calling them “murderous” and “evil”. The Ridgways were sent a “tremendous amount of death threats” from people across various social media platforms who were outraged by their decision. The harassment became so severe that Jesse revealed he put extra security measures in place. In an interview on TMZ Live, he disclosed that the threats were taken so seriously that his wife had to leave their shared home.

From Reddit: I don’t know why people feel the need to give their input on a situation that doesn’t concern them. People need to mind their own business. The commenters are on their high horse acting as if they have such a high moral compass,

Here’s my opinion…

First of all, this is a distraction from the hell that is going on in our country on so many levels, all due to that orange POS.

Secondly...If Jesse and his wife had kept their decision to terminate PRIVATE (or their whole life private), none of this would have happened. I just don’t understand why so many people feel it’s necessary to put their lives on display for impressions, clicks, and income from YouTube and Instagram and all the other social media platforms.

Thirdly… Literally no one LIKES to have an abortion, it’s not like we women throw parties and do gender reveals, but it’s OUR body and our RIGHT to be pregnant or NOT be pregnant and everyone can stay out of my uterus.

Finally...When I was in the teaching program at university, I started out thinking I wanted to major in special education but after doing some student teaching in Special Ed classes and experiencing their special and exhausting 24/7/365 needs, it’s not something I chose to do.

It’s grueling for parents, siblings, teachers, and everyone else. I would not subject a child of mine to merely exist like that. What happens to them when their parents are gone? It’s not a pretty thought.

I don’t think there was as much comprehensive genetic testing back when I was pregnant with my son as there is now, but if my tests revealed a severe genetic abnormality or birth defect, I’d have a lot of thinking to do, mainly about their quality of life–and mine.

Final thought:
Pearl clutchers and virtue signallers and everyone else with their fake martydom can do what they want with their own bodies, but keep their hands, laws, and opinions out of mine. It’s quite literally none of your business. #reproductiverights

A Mom Knows These Things

A Generation Fabulous Blog Hop: The Best Thing I Learned From My Mother

Me: “Hey, Mom, guess what?”

Mom: “You’re pregnant.”

Me: “How did you know that’s what I was gonna say?”

Mom: “A mom knows these things.”

MommyThat’s my mom. She was born in 1915 and died in 1989 from pancreatic cancer. She lived with us until the end. I cared for her with the help of a wonderful hospice team.

I was a mid-life baby –born in 1954. She was afraid that I was going to be affected with Downs Syndrome, although they didn’t call it that. At that time, it was  referred to as Mongoloidism, which is no longer in technical use as its considered offensive. They didn’t have genetic testing back then and it scared her that  I was such a good baby, always happy and never cried.

The doctor told her I would make up for it by causing her heartache when I was a teenager, and I did — but that story is for another time…

My mom became a registered nurse at a time when abortions were illegal. She often told me that the horrible things that she saw in the hospital — the aftereffects of a botched backroom abortion — were the reasons she was one thousand percent pro-choice right from the beginning.

“A woman has the right to choose whether or not she wants to have a child.”

That’s something I learned from my mom.

“No man has the right to tell a woman what to do with her body.”

I learned that from my mom, too.

These forward thinking ideas were even more remarkable when you consider that her father — my grandfather — was a Rabbi. My mom was one of seven children. They moved from town to town as my grandfather moved from synagogue to synagogue  — a nomadic life.  Although she was born in Minnesota, my mom spoke with a slight southern drawl because the family spent many years in the south.

They eventually ended up in Detroit. I loved hearing my mom tell the story of climbing onto a city bus and walking to the back along with an African-American girl who had been told to “get to the back of the bus”. The bus driver kicked my mom off for being a troublemaker.

meandmommyObviously, that’s where I got my big mouth. I learned to speak up for those less fortunate — to fight for those that have no voice. I learned to speak up when I see child abuse or animal cruelty. As proud as I was of her, I know she’d be equally as proud of me.

My mom taught me what it meant to be a mother. She abhorred daycare and nannies and was disdainful of mothers who worked. She told me that people shouldn’t have children if they don’t want them and if they can’t take proper care of them.

No stranger would raise HER grandchild.

“A child deserves to have a mom who will selflessly dedicate her life to her child with unconditional love.”

I always knew I would be a stay-at-home-mom — my mom showed me how.

And also thanks to my mom, I wear perfume every day — Chance by Chanel. It’s my signature, even if I’m just going to the gym. I learned that from my mom, too.

“Don’t save perfume for special occasions.” Fragrance can turn rancid and sour smelling. This is what she said when she presented me with my very first bottle of real parfum — Joy by Jean Patou.

“Wear it every day. Wear it for yourself.”

meandmom

My mom and me. I think I had just given birth…not sure where my baby is!

Along with a love for cleaning the house with bleach, collecting seashells and blue glass, my mom passed on the shopping gene.

My passion for the finer things in life are directly related to that first mother-daughter dress, my first pink satin ballet shoes, my first silk blouse, and my first treasured cashmere sweater.

When we enjoyed a bit of retail therapy, Mommy (yes, I called her Mommy) liked to buy me things because she said it made her happy.

Her favorite saying was, “It’s only money.”

That cracks up my tugboat man — although she passed away a few years before we met– he says he’s now paying the price (literally) and carrying on the tradition – under duress. Ha ha ha!

Thank you, Mommy. I miss you so very much.

This is a bloghop!