Tag Archives: Life

Pregnancy, Down Syndrome, and Reproductive Rights

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Although I usually cloak myself in a filmy, gauzy haze of positivity, sometimes the real world slips through a crack or two.

Did you hear about the YouTube influencers who documented every part of their pregnancy, up to and including their decision to end the pregnancy?

Jesse Ridgway and his wife Ashley ended their pregnancy, and in a series of posts on the YouTuber’s Instagram Stories, Jesse said that they’d recently made the “difficult decision” to end Ashley’s pregnancy after receiving a fetal Down syndrome diagnosis.

“This week, my wife and I made the very difficult decision to terminate the pregnancy due to Trisomy 21,” wrote Jesse. “The choice was not made lightly.”

Down syndrome, also known as Trisomy 21, is a genetic disorder caused by the presence of all or part of a third copy of chromosome 21.

It’s usually associated with developmental delays, mild, moderate, or severe intellectual disability, and characteristic physical features.

Since they town-cried their controversial decision, it stirred up a hornet’s nest of the most vicious attacks against them, as well as from those who support them. People are saying he posted publicly so he needs to deal with the hatred. He tried to get attention and make money off of his unborn child. (However, thousands upon thousands of others document their pregnancy too, and for the same reasons.)

“Down Syndrome isn’t a ‘blessing,’ it is objectively s—ty from a health perspective,” Jesse claimed. “I didn’t realize just how rough it is for the child, let alone the family…more often than not, they would be fully dependent on others for the rest of their life.”

After posting about the loss of their unborn child, the couple was flooded with vitriolic comments, with critics calling them “murderous” and “evil”. The Ridgways were sent a “tremendous amount of death threats” from people across various social media platforms who were outraged by their decision. The harassment became so severe that Jesse revealed he put extra security measures in place. In an interview on TMZ Live, he disclosed that the threats were taken so seriously that his wife had to leave their shared home.

From Reddit: I don’t know why people feel the need to give their input on a situation that doesn’t concern them. People need to mind their own business. The commenters are on their high horse acting as if they have such a high moral compass,

Here’s my opinion…

First of all, this is a distraction from the hell that is going on in our country on so many levels, all due to that orange POS.

Secondly...If Jesse and his wife had kept their decision to terminate PRIVATE (or their whole life private), none of this would have happened. I just don’t understand why so many people feel it’s necessary to put their lives on display for impressions, clicks, and income from YouTube and Instagram and all the other social media platforms.

Thirdly… Literally no one LIKES to have an abortion, it’s not like we women throw parties and do gender reveals, but it’s OUR body and our RIGHT to be pregnant or NOT be pregnant and everyone can stay out of my uterus.

Finally...When I was in the teaching program at university, I started out thinking I wanted to major in special education but after doing some student teaching in Special Ed classes and experiencing their special and exhausting 24/7/365 needs, it’s not something I chose to do.

It’s grueling for parents, siblings, teachers, and everyone else. I would not subject a child of mine to merely exist like that. What happens to them when their parents are gone? It’s not a pretty thought.

I don’t think there was as much comprehensive genetic testing back when I was pregnant with my son as there is now, but if my tests revealed a severe genetic abnormality or birth defect, I’d have a lot of thinking to do, mainly about their quality of life–and mine.

Final thought:
Pearl clutchers and virtue signallers and everyone else with their fake martydom can do what they want with their own bodies, but keep their hands, laws, and opinions out of mine. It’s quite literally none of your business. #reproductiverights

Disturbing Dreamland

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After not being able to recall my dreams for a while, this one was so unsettling, I can remember most of the details. I don’t know what part of my brain decided to spew these strange thoughts…

The first image is of me in a hotel room with two cats. One was all black and the other was more fluffy and furry like a Maine Coon. There was a balcony with a sliding glass door which I kept closed and locked. I can’t explain why I was traveling and had made the poor decision to bring the cats with me — NOT something I’d do in real life. The cats were chipped but weren’t wearing collars or ID tags, also something I’d never do. My kitties always had stylish collars.

Maybe it’s the right time to explain that I don’t have any cats at the present time which makes this an even more bizarre dream scenario.

I felt extremely worried about them getting out of the room and getting lost. I have a distinct memory of feeling a lot of anxiety.

I don’t even like hotels because I think they’re inherently unsanitary and the impermanence of temporary lodging where hoards of strangers have been is unsettling. I love my homespace. (There’s really no place like home.)

I’d much rather camp or even sleep in a car than stay in a hotel, even a five-star one.

Funnily enough, even my dreamstate knew that!

After one night, I checked out of the hotel, carrying both of the cats in my arms, along with pulling my suitcase. I don’t know why I didn’t have cat carriers because that would have obviously made it all so much easier, right? I remember being so afraid that I’d drop one of them and they’d run off. The fear was palpable.

The next part of the dream took place at a camp site which I believe was in Yosemite. Someone had kindly set up a red tent along with a litter box. However, I was quite distraught, consumed with keeping the cats safely IN the tent so they wouldn’t run away. The thought of them lost in the woods was intensely disturbing.

In a state of wake/asleep, I thought to myself, who brings cats to places that they aren’t familiar with? The cats wanted to escape, pawing at the the tent stakes, and I was becoming overwhelmed.

I wasn’t having any fun, that’s for sure.

I don’t know what happened after that. There was no resolution to my dilemma because I woke up.

My entire morning was tainted with agitation, apprehension, and dread — not a calm and peaceful way to start the day, so I decided to research what that kind of dream might mean.

Now that I think about it, the fact that I made myself wake up BEFORE the kitties got out of the tent was the best possible outcome, because I couldn’t forgive myself (awake or asleep) if they got lost and I failed to protect them.

Here’s a few thoughts:

Two Cats: In dreams, pairs often represent duality or a decision you are currently weighing. Cats typically symbolize independence, intuition, or personal freedom.

Hotels represent temporary situations, transience, or being “away from home.” It suggests your subconscious is trying to process a situation that feels foreign, unstable, or out of your usual routine.

Feeling Overwhelmed: Too many cats in a contained space points to sensory overload. You may be juggling too many responsibilities or dealing with conflicting demands from others.

Campsite: Dreaming of multiple cats getting lost at a campsite typically reflects underlying anxieties about a loss of control or feelings of vulnerability. Because campsites represent unstructured environments and cats symbolize independence and intuition, this dream points to wandering emotions that are difficult to corral.

Getting Lost: Losing a pet in a dream often mirrors waking-life fears of abandonment, a lack of trust, or a feeling that you have lost control over certain aspects of your ilife.

All I know is that I hope I don’t have that dream again, and because I can’t seem to help myself, this dream made me think about Leon Russell’s song, Out In The Woods, about being lost in actual woods as well as the feeling of being lost in life.

When Leon wanted to learn the Zulu translation for being “lost in the woods”, he was told that there isn’t one because the Zulu don’t get lost in the woods. 

At about the seven-minute mark , Leon explains the story behind the the chorus: “Doda koo panga-ma, doda koo kala, Doda koo panga-oo, kala shatini.”
https://youtu.be/b7IYrFkYyJA?si=gY44_a3kn_11ls2d

Ancestral Acting: Josephine Victor

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When I told my mom I wanted to become a famous actress, she said it was in my blood and shared a story about my grand-aunt, Josephine Victor, who WAS a well known performer, often in productions at the Belasco Theatre on Broadway.

Josephine Victor

Josephine Victor (born Josephina Gunczler/Ginzler; June 28, 1885 – 1963) was a Hungarian-born American stage actress and director active on Broadway from 1905 to 1939.

Her father was a Hungarian vintner. The Ginzler family originated from the Tokay wine region, where viticulture played a central role in local economy and culture during the late 19th century.

Josephine had several siblings, including a half-brother, my grandfather, Rabbi Arthur Ginzler.

Known for her versatile performances in dramatic roles, Victor appeared in many Broadway productions, frequently as part of original casts in plays by prominent playwrights such as John Galsworthy and Elmer Rice.

Her career highlights include leading roles like Zabette de Chauvalons in Martinique (1920), for which she received praise for delivering a powerful and tender performance in the play’s pivotal second-act scene, and Chloe in Galsworthy’s The Skin Game (1920).

Later, she transitioned into directing, helming the Broadway production of Doctor X in 1931, and continued acting in sophisticated dramas such as Judgment Day (1934) as Lydia Kuman and Wise Tomorrow (1937) as Diana Ebury.

She also ventured into vaudeville, debuting at New York City’s Palace Theatre in 1921 in the one-act play Juliet and Romeo by Harry Wagstaff Gribble, where she co-headlined alongside Adele Rowland.

Victor’s personal life intersected with the theater world through her marriage to Francis E. Reid, a theatrical publicist and drama critic.

Victor’s combined directing and playwriting output, though limited in major productions, bridged her acting with creative authorship, fostering narratives that amplified immigrant voices and familial tensions in early 20th-century drama. Her works contributed to the era’s exploration of social undercurrents, paving subtle paths for women in theatre leadership during a male-dominated field

Widowed after Reid’s death in 1933, Victor’s contributions to American theater spanned acting and directing, cementing her legacy as a multifaceted figure in the era’s stage scene.

In her post-retirement years, Victor maintained a low public profile.

It’s interesting to observe that one sibling became a rabbi and another became an actress, as they are very different and also very similar careers, if you stop and think about it. Performing is performing, whether it’s for an audience or a congregation.

She died in 1963, and I’m not sure that my mom ever met her, but wish I had so I could have asked her when she got the acting bug and maybe I could have picked up a few helpful acting tips from her, as I didn’t really win many auditions or perform regularly, so I gave up that dream…

Roundup of Random Annoyances

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On Thursday afternoon, I saw a white van parked DIRECTLY across my driveway, completely blocking it. For a minute, I thought it might be a delivery, but I wasn’t expecting anything.

After noticing it didn’t move and no one came out with a package, I walked outside. Never one to shy away from direct action, I went around to the driver’s side, tapped on the window, and a man opened the door.

I pointed at my driveway and calmly stated, ” You’re completely blocking my driveway.”

He replied, “I’m just on my phone.”

Still calm, I responded, “You can’t block a driveway. MOVE. NOW.”

And he did move but parked directly across the street and kept staring at my house while still on his stupid phone, now with the door open.

Once again, it might not have been the smartest thing I’ve ever done, but sometimes I have ZERO impulse control plus I know the assistant police chief lives a few houses away, if needed. I only regret not getting the license plate number.

Honestly, I don’t know what’s wrong with people, do you? First of all, there are literally dozens of miles of sidewalk unencumbered by driveways, and secondly, how in any entitled universe does HIS phone call justify illegal parking? I am convinced that there are more and more selfish people who think the whole world revolves solely around them, and I’m not sure why or how to navigate these life experiences.

Another random event happened at TJ Maxx as I was standing in line to pay for a couple of cute and sparkly t-shirts for Angel Girl. A woman with a full cart pushed in front of me as if I was invisible. As if I didn’t exist! The hubris!

It took me a couple of seconds to fully realize the situation, like what just happened here, because first, she was behind me and then she wasn’t. I looked around; aghast, as the other customers in line also noticed and I’m sure wondered how I would handle the situation.

This time, I chalked it up to the full moon. I shook my head, turned around, got out of line, put my items back on the shelf, and left the store. It didn’t seem to be the right time to have a confrontation over something trivial and I assumed the universe intervened for a good reason, so I listened.

Finally… my city can’t seem to figure out what to do with an intersection on my street near an elementary school. For many years, there were two stop signs, then they put in a dangerous and ineffective roundabout. Last year they took away the $20,000 waste-of-money roundabout and put in a four-way-stop. I don’t know how much it cost to remove the roundabout and cement in four stop signs, but that’s how they spend our tax dollars around here…

Yesterday, I pulled up to one of the stop signs, preparing to turn left. I noticed two cars that completely ignored another of the four stop signs and turned right, not even bothering to slow down. Since no one was behind me and I was early for a dental appointment, I sat there and watched at least SIX other cars completely ignore that same stop sign. Stop means stop, right? A couple of them even glanced my way as they barrelled around the corner, exceeding the 25 mph speed limit.

What part of STOP don’t they understand? Are they the same people who don’t comprehend that NO means NO?

Photo by Mwabonje on Pexels.com

I decided it might be wise to spend the day at home, in the garden, where it’s slightly more peaceful, although there’s STILL construction noise from next door. I’m trying to tune it all out, but it’s permeating my soul in a not very positive way.

I’m exhorting myself to BREATHE and listen to the birds who’re busy building nests in the mulberry tree.

BREATHE, Princess Rosebud, BREATHE…

Friday Tirade: Fevers and Gnats and Hammers

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Have you ever experienced the feeling that you had a fever but you actually did NOT?

Somehow, as careful as I am, I got sick. It started with heavy congestion and a headache along with a low grade fever, then it spiked to 101.5 as all the other aches and pains descended upon my body.

After a couple of days of not getting any worse, I decided that I didn’t need to see a doc because my lungs were OK and that probably meant that it was a virus and not a secondary bacterial infection that would necessitate antibiotics as I’m prone to pneumonia.

I can see the light at the end of the tunnel, except for a cough and this annoying feeling that I have a fever but the thermometer says otherwise. I think I would be feeling a lot worse if I hadn’t been vaccinated for Covid and the flu, so I’m grateful for that. Ginger tea and Tylenol seem to help.

At the same time, my indoor plants are inundated with fungus gnats. They’re joyfully procreating and multiplying and are SO annoying. I sprayed the soil with a hydrogen peroxide solution that’s supposed to help–fingers crossed that it actually does. I’ve never had an infestation this severe and I’m not really happy about it.

If that wasn’t enough to put me in a foul mood, neighbors decided to build an absolute monstrosity of a remodel that looks more like an apartment building as it looms over my house. The construction noise has been ongoing for MONTHS and right now I’m listening to incessant sawing and hammering and nail guns along with an air compressor that goes off and on, off and on, off and on.

Closing the windows doesn’t do anything to muffle the noise and that’s almost impossible to do as temps are consistently in the 70s, so I suffer either way. When people drive or walk by, they look up at the giant structure and shake their heads, so I know it’s not just me.

Because of the way the wind blows (literally), all the sawdust and other building detritus comes my way so the side of my house was covered in sawdust, along with nails and paper from the insulation. I asked the neighbors to let their construction people know about it so they could clean it up and that didn’t happen so I sent them some pics and again asked to have something done about it, which they finally did about a month later.

Is there a real pervasive lack of basic courtesy and consideration nowadays, or am I the only one who thinks that?

Does everyone live in their own little bubble and not comprehend–or care — how their actions might affect others? Was I unreasonable to expect them to (promptly) clear away their construction mess? It’s definitely NOT my job to clean up after them and you can’t tell me that they didn’t look down from the scaffolding and see what was going on below them. Yes, SCAFFOLDING, because, like I said, it’s a huge, multi-story monstrosity.

Anyway…

I can’t take it much longer…I think I might have to scream into a pillow. SHUTUPSHUTUPSHUTUP!

Another Happy Solar Return For The Original Angel Boy

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…and an interesting and coincidental fact about (of course) Leon Russell.

Eleven years before there was even a hint of a thought about any baby, even one as wonderful as Angel Boy, Leon Russell released his self-titled debut solo album on March 23, 1970.

The album featured the classics: Delta Lady, Dixie Lullaby, A Song For You, Hummingbird, and Prince of Peace.

Leon played piano, guitar, bass guitar, and vocals. He was backed by an impressive list of friends, including Klaus Voormann, Mick Jagger, George Harrison, Ringo Starr, Alan Spenner, Charlie Watts, Bill Wyman, Delaney Bramlett, Eric Clapton, Jim Horn, Bonnie Bramlett, Steve Winwood, Jim Gordon, Chris Stainton, B.J. Wilson, Joe Cocker, and Merry Clayton.

What was I doing on March 23, 1970? I was in high school and I’m sure I bought that album as soon as it came out, probably at The Wherehouse or Licorice Pizza, two cool record stores that no longer exist.

But on March 23, 1981, I debuted MY one and only release of a human–the aforementioned Angel Boy–after twenty-four hours of labor and an emergency C-section. I’ve blogged a lot about the birth: https://enchantedseashells.com/2013/03/23/i-fell-down-and-a-baby-popped-out/

He’s still the same person he’s always been; a voracious reader and writer, loves to garden, is kind to animals. He’s got a wicked sense of humor, and now that he’s a dad, he skateboards with the Angel Kids and finally realizes why I worried so much about his safety.

Could he really be all grown up? Nah, he’ll always be my Angel Boy and I’ll always be the proud Boy Mom.

Photo by Enchanted Seashells

An Embarrassment of The Subconscious

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…of what? Of a totally insane dream.

I had a dream that seemed to last forever and here are some snippets that I can actually recall.

Leon Russell

For no apparent rhyme or reason, Leon Russell (yes, I know) was showing me a ballet move called développé à la seconde, which I thought was even more remarkable because he was slightly paralyzed from a birth injury on the side that was attempting the move.

I can’t even begin to explain how or why my mind connected the Master of Space and Time to a difficult dance position, but that’s the beauty of the subconscious, I guess. It doesn’t have to make sense.

When I was involved in ballet, this particular move was a struggle for me to master. I often uttered a silent groan when Madame Kaliskis said it was time for développé because I knew she’d eventually make her way over to me at the barre and watch me until I felt my leg was going to fall off. She’d say “encore” which meant I had to do it again and again, and then she’d hold my leg up where it SHOULD be, and my task was to hold it there, but I never could.

Here’s a vid of how it ought to look; sadly, my extensions were never this perfect no matter how much I practiced.

Anyway…

As soon as Leon finished with his (quite nice, better than mine ever were) développé, the dream became all about me.

I was driving from my house to Catalina Island which is not at all possible as it’s about seventy-five nautical miles from my area and can only be reached by boat or air, but there I was, driving along a very narrow path with water on both sides of me, sometimes lapping up ever so slightly over the road, which totally freaked me out. This wasn’t a fun part of the dream as I was in a constant state of anxiety and vigilance so I wouldn’t miss the road and end up in the ocean.

(It’s only about twenty-six miles from the Los Angeles area, and the song by The Four Preps is accurate). https://youtu.be/1I7zMKptjRs?si=AwM3Vdcb5Y9iIzee

I remember taking the ferry back from Catalina Island but not sure what happened to the car that I drove along the non-existent road to get there. On Catalina, visitors can’t bring their own cars; most people use golf carts or bicycles. Only a very limited number of residents and businesses have vehicle permits and there’s a years-long waiting list for them.

Since I used to work for the (now defunct) company that used to go to Catalina Island from San Diego, it’s not too unusual to dream about it, but the more than four hour-long one way trip was often referred to as the “vomit comet” because, well, you can probably figure out WHY, haha.

I didn’t often accompany passengers over there for that reason, and because I generally get seasick. Ick.

After I was safely back on terra firma, my subconscious decided to go on another exploration of past memories and my often dreamed about kitty, Bandit, returned to snuggle with me in bed. She loved freshly washed flannel sheets as much as I do and we kept each other warm. The dream ended far too soon, along with the feeling of being safe and loved by a purring machine. That morning I had changed the sheets to soft, fragrant flannel ones, so THAT part of the dream fused with reality.

Strange dream, right? I can’t even begin to figure out what it all means, but it really wasn’t embarrassing at all because I’m fascinated with the human mind during different sleep states.

Back To The Island is playing in my head, so here’s the Leon connection, and to reiterate, this song was written and composed by Leon Russell, NOTNOTNOT Jimmy Buffet, and of course, Leon does it better.

And a live version with a couple of his children in the band…https://youtu.be/UXuPT-p3xk4?si=y0Bx361ND_jKT-wg

Shout Out Good Parenting: More of THIS

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Have you done this?

Recently I was standing in very crowded and chaotic place (physically, not emotionally lol) and I observed a bit older than toddler-aged child having a problem coping with it and was having a meltdown. I could totally relate because I get a bit disoriented in crowds and noise, too.

The mom crouched down to talk with her son. She told him she understood that he was having a hard time and it was OK, that she understood his feelings and was trying her best to figure it all out. She didn’t yell at him, she didn’t censure him in any way; she respected the big emotions he was feeling as he was trying to process this scary atmosphere. She didn’t meet his emotions with anger. This was awesome parenting.

After she finished and he calmed down, she stood up and I told her she was a great mom and handled the situation in an amazing way. It was immediate positive reinforcement.

Her face brightened, and she thanked me, gave her son an extra hug, and they were on their way.

We should all take the extra minute to understand the behavior of little ones and to use that time for emotional support, not to be annoyed or lose your temper.  Listen to your children and validate their feelings. 

Have you ever noticed great parenting and complimented them for it? Sometimes it really does take a village.

Colors of The Cosmos

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The sky is filled with stars, invisible by day. Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

Between rainstorms, the sky around here has been especially lovely.

The rain stopped for a bit and I went for a walk before it got too dark. If I could paint, this is what it would look like.

This morning after an unexpectedly heavy shower, I was able to spot a rainbow before it completely disappeared.

“I’d rather see the world as a rainbow than endless shade of gray.” Amani Abbas






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Another Day, Another Injury, Another Life Lesson NOT Learned

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I’m searching for whom or what I can blame for my latest stupid injury, like maybe Mercury Retrograde or the 11/11 portal?

I surely don’t think I would set an intention for — nor manifest — bodily damage, so I guess I’ll have to accept 100% of the blame for this one, which I knew was going to happen seconds before it did.

Here’s the scenario: I was planning to step off the deck, about a foot or so, onto some pavers. The wind had blown a small rug onto the pavers but at the same time that I chose NOT to bend down and remove it, I had the thought that there was a real and distinct possibility that I couldn’t see where I planned to step down, so I REALLY should take the two seconds to remove the rug — but I did not, and there I was, once again on the ground because I had not only awkwardly trapped my foot between two pavers that were obscured by that damn rug, but, as I fell, the edge of one of them hit me HARD at the exact location of my previous split-open shin, I then fell on my wrist (one I had broken a few years ago) and sprained the other ankle as it folded under me, an ungraceful vision, most definitely NOT a pretty sight; not princess-like in any way.

Ouch.

Covered in dirt and leaves, I sat there for a while like I always do, assessing the damage and shaking my head at my own stupidity.

The scar from before looks pretty angry and a bit bloody. There’s already a bump and a lump and is blooming some ugly bruises, but no broken bones this time, at least I hope not. I can live with the sprained wrist/ankle; at this point we’re old friends.

When will I ever learn?

Somebody once said “a definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result.” It’s been wrongly attributed to Einstein, but some people think it’s from Rita Mae Brown or a 1981 Narcotics Anonymous pamphlet.

Maybe insanity is not exactly my issue, but I hope one day I learn not to be so careless and impulsive about my personal safety.