To go in the dark with a light is to know the light. To know the dark, go dark. Go without sight, and find that the dark, too, blooms and sings, and is traveled by dark feet and dark wings.–Wendell Berry
This is a magical moment. It’s not simply a day on the calendar; it’s actually a very specific moment when the sun stands still, which is over almost as soon as it has begun, and winter begins. This physical changing of the seasons is a powerful time to manifest spiritual transformations.
I awoke at dawn to honor the spirit of the solstice — from the backyard, a pink sunrise in a blue sky. It rained all night and more is on the way, but for now it’s clear and sunny.
From the front yard, check out this glorious skyfire, a perfect celebration for the solstice, safer than a bonfire!
Like the lyrics from that Heart song… “These dreams in the mist Darkness on the edge, shadows where I stand I search for the time on a watch with no hands”
I experienced an incredibly unsettling dream last night that I just can’t shake, one of those dreams that some other protective part of your brain thankfully forces you to wake up from; a heart pounding, traumatizing, scary dream that you can’t quite figure out and you wish you could forget, but some of the details and the feelings of dread and fear remain firmly etched.
In this dream, I had driven to the airport, not to immediately travel anywhere, but for another reason, although I don’t know what that was.
I wasn’t alone–one of my first-born fur children was with me, Sabrina Sue, my beloved Border Collie. (She died when Angel Boy was still a toddler). I parked on the street, close to the airport, because I planned to walk there. I couldn’t explain why Sab was there and alive when she’s been gone for decades, but our bond was strong and it was like old times when that beautiful black and white, bright-eyed little girl was with me, as she always was.
Here’s where it gets weird. I left Sabrina in the car, which I had NEVER EVER done when she was alive, except for a couple of times when I quickly ran into the store or the post office, and only when it was cold outside, so she would be in no danger of becoming overheated.
I finished whatever business I had in the airport and walked back to where I parked my car. When I was about a block away, to my surprise, Sabrina was sitting on the sidewalk, ears up, looking at me. I crouched down low and like I always had done, stretched out my arms and said, “Come, girl!” She ran at full speed, nearly knocking me over, and we proceeded to where I parked.
But the car was gone. It had disappeared, gone, not where it should have been.
My car had been stolen, I surmised, but whoever did it must have opened the back and let Sabrina out, which wasn’t easy, as she was an extremely protective Border. I think she was the best trained of all my kids, and stay was so ingrained in her memory that she could wait forever until I gave the signal that released her to come to me.
My memory is fuzzy about how we got home, but I remember using my scarf as a leash.
As I reflect about the dream, after my heart rate subsided and I was no longer in panic mode, I had a faint recollection that I went there to purchase a ticket to Hawaii, but I’ve lost the rest of that mindthread.
When we got home, I called the police and reported my stolen vehicle.I don’t remember having a cell phone, so I had to wait for a landline.
In my dream state, I was overcome with an overwhelming feeling of shame and anxiety. I remember saying to the police, “But how will I get anywhere? I need my car.”
That’s when I woke up, saturated in self-hatred and shame for whatever I had done to set the wheels in motion to make my car available to be stolen. I must have done something wrong and that’s an intense stressful trigger for me. I always take the blame, it’s always my fault, somehow.
I think I woke up before there was any clear resolution, but I have a fleeting thought that my car WAS found and returned and that it wasn’t damaged, but I don’t recall any details about who stole it, or why.
Of course I researched dream interpretations and learned that dreaming of your car being stolen has many different meanings and scenarios. It could reflect something you feel is out of your control. You shouldn’t ignore a dream in which you lose your car because it shows your deepest fears and hopes. This dream could be the consequence of a number of unacknowledged insecurities that have surfaced in your subconscious and are causing you fear. To overcome your anxieties, you must first recognize them.
Along with my subconscious mind freaking out, here in SoCal we’re being blasted with multiple energetic events, solar flares, and strong Santa Ana weather with very low humidity. There have been multiple structure fires around here today, and a wildfire up the coast.
Did you know about space weather? That’s new to me. Check it out. It’s NOAA’s (National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration) Space Weather Prediction Center.
Sun activity has jumped to high over the past day, thanks to an M5.4 flare blasted out by sunspot region AR3511. The blast happened late in the day yesterday.
What damage could a solar flare do?
Heliophysicists and other scientists studying space weather warn that flares and related solar outbursts can indeed interfere with modern life by damaging power grids, as well as by increasing radiation exposures for occupants of space habitats and high-altitude aircraft.
Solar storms also affect the circadian rhythm in humans, reducing the production of melatonin and increasing levels of the stress hormone cortisol, effects that are more pronounced in patients with coronary heart disease.
During solar flares, people may feel disconnected or low while others of us may feel imbalanced or emotionally sensitive. This volatile energy can be used to connect with the higher self or achieve spiritual connectedness through meditation and yoga.
My solution? Spend the entire day in the garden.There’s always a project or two that needs attention and love. In Southern California, autumn/winter is a good time to prepare the garden to plant natives so they can benefit from the upcoming rainy season. Fingers crossed that we’ll get some decent rain this year.
At the end of the day, this dream is still sort of haunting me. As much as I loved being reunited with my sweet Sabrina, the idea of my car being stolen triggers every one of my vulnerable abandonment issues. I’ve never had a dream like that before and it’s going to take a while to recover from the intensity of the feelings it generated.
And if you read this far, the calamity that befell me wasn’t a stolen car, but just now when I returned from a walk, the garage was flooded from a very leaky and failing water heater. I don’t know how it happened so fast, but it did. I put a bucket under the drippy part, wiped up the floor, and now I need to find a plumber. Did my dream foretell impending doom? Maybe so…
Tonight’s the first night of Hanukkah and Hello Kitty reminds us to let our light shine!
Our Jewish Festival of Lights lasts for eight days and nights in honor of a 2,000-year-old miracle in which light won out over darkness.
During Hanukkah 1931, Rachel Posner, wife of Rabbi Dr. Akiva Posner, took this photo of the family Hanukkah menorah from the window ledge of the family home looking out on to the building across the road decorated with Nazi flags.
While it’s definitely a time for serious reflection, it’s also all about fun with latkes, gold coins, dreidels, lots of presents, and this iconic song by Adam Sandler:
The full moon always disrupts my sleep. This full Beaver moon is giving me strange dreams, too, but I can only remember fragmented snippets, like my subconscious is rambling and formless; inchoate. This is my signal to spend time in nature, whether it’s the forest, the beach, or my garden.
And she stopped…and she heard what the trees said to her, And she sat there for hours not wanting to leave, For the forest said nothing, it just let her breathe. ~ Becky Hemsley
While we’re in the midst of plans to enjoy a feast with friends and family, I hope we don’t forget to honor, and with gratitude, recognize the Indigenous Peoples.
“Will you teach your children what we have taught our children? That the earth is our mother? What befalls the earth befalls all the sons of the earth.” Chief Seattle
“When you know who you are when your mission is clear, and you burn with the inner fire of unbreakable will; no cold can touch your heart; no deluge can dampen your purpose. You know that you are alive.” – Chief Seattle, Suquamish/Duwamish (1786-1866)
Chief Seattle (more correctly known as Seathl) was a Suquamish and Duwamish chief. A leading figure among his people, he pursued a path of accommodation to white settlers, The city of Seattle in Washington state, was named after him.
Photo of people and tents and quote credit to Chief Seattle and Native Red Cloud Maȟpíya Lúta~Hińhan Wakangli. Photo credit of Chief Seattle from Wiki
I bought some things that I subsequently needed to return which my son calls my “catch and release” program because I do it a lot.
This time, I was in a rush. I picked the wrong kind of noodles and the wrong kind of applesauce, and a pineapple I discovered was rotten and gross; also a first pair of jeans for Angel Girl 2.0 that were the wrong size.
I located the receipts and put them in safe place, or so I thought.
To backtrack, I never lose things and I also save EVERY receipt because I know that I MIGHT return whatever it is. I’m thrifty like that, so what happened next is significant.
I left early to shop cos it’s getting crowded for Thanksgiving. When I got in my car, I looked for the receipts and could only find one, but I KNOW I had saved both of them together.
I searched every inch of the car-nothing. I searched my purse-nothing. I looked in the outside trash (eww) -nothing. I went back in the house and couldn’t find it anywhere. I took a few deep breaths and decided to accept the reality that for once, I had somehow lost a receipt, but I’d still try to return the items and not be upset if that wasn’t possible.
In the grand scheme of life, this wasn’t anything to worry about. Mistakes happen.
I parked my car, walked around to the passenger side to collect my shopping bags and the items to be returned. There, on the seat, right next to the sad old pineapple, I spied the receipt.
WTF? Where did it come from? I had OCD thoroughly searched every single inch of my car, even taking everything out, and never saw it, because it wasn’t there. But there it appeared, ON THE SEAT. ON THE SEAT where it had NOT been before.
I shook my head, called out a silent thank you to the universe and its witchy ways, and laughed at my good fortune.
The rest of the day has been full of sunshine and joy, but I still can’t figure it out.
Is it the disappearing object phenomenon? How did it happen? WHY did it happen? And what’s the lesson?
According to my Google research, these are the areas to explore if you have experienced the return of a lost item:
Lessons on the 3D level: Must you always have a physical explanation for any occurrence? Why? Do you believe that there is only one answer for any occurrence? Who told you that? What happens if you can’t find an explanation for this occurrence?
Lessons on the 4D level: Can I concede that I can’t explain this occurrence just yet? Do Others have power over me? Do Others have powers that I don’t have? (St. Anthony, or Archangel Chamuel, for example?) Can they see more than I can see? Who are these Others? Are they mirrors of me?
Lessons on the 5D level: Is this an item you love? If not, why is it here? How long was this item gone before you missed it? Are you rightfully managing this energy (including time)? What is the disparity of frequency between the You that could see them and the You that couldn’t? What is the energy of the missing item? Sad? Nostalgic? Does it represent a period in your life needing release? Does it remind you of something you need to get done?
The Talmud (study or learning) is a compilation of ancient teachings regarded as sacred by Jewish people. It’s the link between the Torah and Jewish practice and beliefs. The Talmud is also a way to see and comprehend discussions between thousands of rabbis spanning centuries before the work was compiled and put onto paper. The Talmud states that the Torah was mostly written by Moses. That’s a LOT of historical documentation to absorb and think about.
I studied both the Torah and the Talmud at Sunday and Hebrew school, even learning to read and write in Hebrew, but I remember virtually nothing. However, with recent tragic events, this quote from the Talmud seems appropriate.
(The kind of things I remember is to look at the calendar and note that Hannukah comes early this year, December 7!)
The Talmud states, “Do not be daunted by the enormity of the world’s grief. Do justly now, love mercy now, walk humbly now. You are not obligated to complete the work, but neither are you free to abandon it.”
Here’s what I learned today. Since Angel Girl turned four years old, I needed a new car seat. When it arrived, I didn’t have too much trouble assembling it (although it took an HOUR) but I couldn’t figure out how to properly install it next to her brother’s. I didn’t pay much attention when Dad did it.
I read the cryptic instruction booklet and it was like reading hieroglyphics. I watched several YouTube videos and they didn’t help me, either. This isn’t unusual–I’m not very mechanically inclined.
I figured that our friendly police department would surely be able to assist me, so I drove to the local station. This is where the vortex of frustration began…
Guess what? Our police do NOT help to safely install carseats, but they said OTHER grandmas have come in asking for help, too.
The police department referred me to AAA.
AAA also does NOT help to install or make sure they’re installed properly.
AAA referred me to California Highway Patrol which DOES have a program to safely install car seats but they’re booked up through January 2024. That’s no help at all. AT. ALL.
CHP said the Sheriff does it, but they most likely are booked up too. I called to make an appointment, had to leave a message, and no one returned my call.
I even called a neighboring city’s police department and they don’t install car seats either.
After that, I called Children’s Hospital which does have a car seat installation program but it charges FIFTY DOLLARS per car seat!!!
Our local fire department doesn’t assist in installation or inspection to make sure car seats are properly installed.
The final call I made was to Safe Kids Worldwide’s Child Passenger Safety, a nonprofit organization, and there is no tech in my area. Also, no one responded to my email.
I’m exhausted from running around the dead end rabbit hole with my vain attempt to ensure the safety of the Angel Kids.
I eventually tried to install it but noticed there was no anchor with this particular booster-type seat with a back, and it seemed a bit unstable, so I took an anchor strap from the old seat and tried to attach it. I’m not sure if it’s OK but at least it’s not moving around and seems more secure.
And from the manufacturer, I read comments and questions from others who wanted information about no latch/anchor: “Thank you for your interest in the Turbo Booster 2.0 Highback Booster Seat! Unfortunately, a LATCH system is not offered for this product. We hope this helps! – The Graco Team” Well…it doesn’t really help at all, because why NOT??
Friends have said I should just leave it for Dad to do it again but I wanted to make life easier for all of them when I pick up at the airport. It’s much less stressful to jump in the car and head straight home than to have to sit at the curb and wait for him to hook it up.
This says volumes about lack of community service and safety from the entities that should absolutely care. My very final outreach was a call to the community relations department of our police department to suggest they recommence their former program of assisting/examining installation of car seats. Not surprisingly, I’ve received no return call.
Frustration level? OFF ALL THE CHARTS.
UPDATE: A neighboring city’s sheriff’s office returned my call, I made an appointment for this morning, and their in-house certified car seat tech examined both car seats and gave me a few tips to keep the kids extra secure. It took less than ten minutes–peace of mind = PRICELESS. I’m still concerned that it took so much effort to get it done. I don’t think most people are as tenacious as I am, and if they quit too soon, their children might not be secured properly in an accident.
The Night of Broken Glass, or Kristallnacht, was a wave of violent attacks against Jewish people, coordinated by the Nazi regime on November 9–10, 1938.
Nazi Party paramilitary groups and Hitler Youth carried out the attacks, but countless ordinary Germans watched and even participated.
My grandfather was a rabbi. Although he had already emigrated from Hungary at the the turn of the century, my mom assured me that it most definitely COULD happen again and that’s why we should never forget.
On November 9–10, 1938, the Nazis staged vicious pogroms—state sanctioned, anti-Jewish riots—against the Jewish community of Germany.
These came to be known as Kristallnacht (now commonly translated as “Night of Broken Glass”), a reference to the untold numbers of broken windows of synagogues, Jewish-owned stores, community centers, and homes plundered and destroyed during the pogroms.
Encouraged by the Nazi regime, the rioters burned or destroyed 267 synagogues, vandalized or looted 7,500 Jewish businesses, killed at least 91 Jewish people, and 30,000 Jews were “arrested” and sent to camps.
They also damaged many Jewish cemeteries, hospitals, schools, and homes as police and fire brigades stood aside and offered no help.
Kristallnacht was a turning point in history. The pogroms marked an intensification of Nazi anti-Jewish policy that would culminate in the Holocaust—the systematic, state-sponsored murder of Jews.
Do not go gentle into that good night. Rage, rage against the dying of the light. -Dylan Thomas
I’m lazily and peripherally interested in coincidence and synchronicity, but when there’s a pattern and stuff happens A LOT, that’s when I sit up and take notice.
For the last two or three days, actually since Halloween, I’ve been surrounded by these numbers: 111, 11, and whether it’s the car or my phone or the clock at home, I seem to notice when it’s 11:11 and 1:11.
This might be significant, right? But how?
If you see 111 or any sequence of 1s, it could be a sign that new opportunities are on the way or that this is the start of a new beginning. It’s likely a sign to trust what’s happening in your life and recent ideas you’ve been having.
Angel numbers are a series of numbers that keep showing up in one’s life in order to send a message. They are called angel numbers (part of numerology—the study of the relationship between numerical values and life events) because it’s believed that this is how angels communicate with humanity. And one of these examples is angel number 111.
What does it mean?
Many believe that seeing 11:11 on a clock or timestamp is significant for divine guidance and power when it comes to manifestation, a sign that one is being guided by a higher power, connected to the universe on a more spiritual level.
Spiritualists call this event the 11:11 phenomenon. Seeing the number evokes a feeling of significance because it’s a mirror of twin numbers. Numerology attaches great importance to the number 11. It represents a new beginning or a positive event. According to numerology, when we look at the clock and the two twin numbers face us, the universe is giving us a supportive signal we may have needed at that moment.
Also, the 1:11 angel number is a way for our guardian angels to garner our attention to convey their message.
Or is it simply this?
In an article for Psychology Today, John W. Hoopes, PhD, says “you’re likely experiencing apophenia, “an error of perception—the tendency to interpret random patterns as meaningful.”
We humans are insanely good at noticing and registering certain things that are on our minds at the moment, more so than with topics that don’t seem so important to us. Are you thinking about whether you should really buy that new expensive bag? If so, you’ll almost certainly start seeing it everywhere. Have you and your partner just started trying to get pregnant? You may have the feeling that everything around you suddenly has to do with babies.
Scientists call his phenomenon selective perception. The term describes the human characteristic of the psyche to perceive certain aspects in our environment more intensely while we completely block out others. In particular, our brain finds patterns attractive and exciting, which is why we tend to unconsciously look at the clock at the same time every day and think it’s a coincidence every time.” (GlamourMag)
When you see these numbers, what do you do?
Even the Angel Kids are attuned to this phenomenon and call out to make a wish when we’re in the car and they notice the time. I don’t actually know what it’s all about, but I CHOOSE to believe it’s a positive sign of SOMETHING.
Enchanted Seashells | Princess Rosebud 