Random Kindnesses

Early this morning, I opened the back door and walked on the deck. Near the steps, I saw a motionless bee which I gently nudged with a stick and found him able to move ever so slightly. I brought him a small amount of water in a jar lid and watched as he thirstily inhaled a few drops. As soon as he had enough, he stumbled down the rest of the steps to a shady area on the ground.

I’m not sure if I helped him or simply prolonged the inevitable, but at least I did something to aid a living creature and that always feels good.

Later that morning, I went to the grocery store where I picked up some yummy cherries and cucumbers and avocados.

The woman in front of me had a lot of items and it looked like she was making a special dinner, maybe anniversary, or at least that was the little story I told myself as I patiently waited my turn.

I noticed that she didn’t have her own shopping bags and I watched the clerk take out a couple “store” bags and fill them with her food. After the food was paid for, the employee asked her for thirty cents to pay for the bags, which was really odd because usually they’ll ask before, so they can add it to the total. Right??? So my spidey senses were on alert as I observed the conversation.

The lady became flustered as she looked in her handbag because she didn’t have any cash or change. I could see that she was super embarrassed and I could totally relate. It didn’t seem as if she was unsheltered or didn’t have money; she was well dressed with great jewelry (I always notice stuff like that).

I said, “Let me check. I think I have thirty cents.” I usually don’t have ANY cash or coins either, but I did locate enough to pay for her store bags.

The poor woman was beside herself with gratitude, wanted to pay me back, couldn’t believe I would do that for a complete stranger, asked me my name, WAY overly intensely thankful and appreciative for a mere handful of coins.

I told her it was my pleasure to help and it wasn’t as if I offered to buy her food (haha) and she could pay it forward to someone else in the future and keep the good deed moving along.

Because her gratitude seemed oddly disproportionate, I thought it was possible that she had a bad day and my minor act of kindness gave her a bit of hope — who knows.

She did seem close to breaking down, poor dear. And all for THIRTY CENTS! I wonder if this was some sort of low rent scam so the employee could pocket the money, but that was most likely not the case. Anyway, it was a strange encounter and I was glad to help because it did seem that was the only way I was going to get out of the store, haha. (BTW, I had my own bags.)

Sometimes I’ll see someone do a kind but simply mundane gesture and I’ll just get filled with this unexplainable joy that someone did something nice for someone else with no strings attached; no ulterior motives, no agenda.

After that experience, I went to Sprouts because I was out of probiotics (I love probiotics). The woman in front of me in line (same scenario!) turned to me. She held out a couple pieces of candy wrapped in shiny gold foil and asked me if I wanted them. She said they were free and pointed to where she got them, somewhere else in the store.

I told her how much I LOVE free things (I really do) but asked why she didn’t want them. She explained that she had tasted another one and they were milk chocolate and she only likes dark chocolate. I said I like all variety of chocolate (except white) and gladly accepted her little gifts.

Two acts of kindness were immediately repaid by another; what a great (and sweet) day!

Featured image credit to oechsli.com

50 Kind Words To Say To Kids

I love this; it’s posted on my refrigerator.

We all need a reminder that little ones have big emotions and it’s our job to be kind to them as they navigate this complex world.

Acts of Kindness In A Chaotic World

Confession: I’m a hoarder, not crazy enough to be featured on an episode of that TV show, but I really, really hate to throw things away and I love to acquire STUFF.

For example, I have a lovely collection of empty boxes because YOU NEVER KNOW when you’re going to need one, right?

I don’t know if this is true where you live, but here, there’s a local group that gives all kinds of things away FOR FREE, which is total crack for a hoarder. Did I mention that it’s FREE?

They give away everything from furniture to clothing to toys to appliances. In many cases, the gifted items are valuable, like the cashmere scarf I received, also a set of Russian lacquerware.

Since I joined the group, my ratio of receiving to gifting is about 90 to 10. It’s REALLY difficult for me to relinquish anything because, exactly like those boxes, what if I want or need it again some day in the future? But I do and have posted items, especially things the kids no longer need; highchairs, baby clothes, stuff like that.

It’s equally difficult for me to not bring home everything that’s offered because I like to think I’m rescuing whatever it is from being discarded. I often initiate a conversation with myself (not out loud, IN MY HEAD) about whether I reallyreallyreally NEED what’s offered, or if can I live without it. Most of the time, I’m rational haha, but not always. (The very act of talking to myself sounds kinda crazy if I think about it.)

I’ve brought home lots of plants, planter pots, and other garden items, little boxes similar to what I already collect, a giant dollhouse for the Angel Kids; also toys and even bicycles for them.

Recently, we re-gifted the dollhouse. The Angel Kids and I had a discussion about the future of it. They both said they had enjoyed playing with the house but it was time to give to a new home and other children, so I did, with their blessing.

This time, someone was giving away milkweed seedlings SHE had rescued from our local community garden. Another gardener was going to toss them out, but she saved them and transplanted into little cups.

Photo by EnchantedSeashells

This kind woman posted on the site that she had plenty to share and I responded. There were enough for multiple people which is great because we all care about helping butterflies.

Photo by EnchantedSeashells

The woman messaged me her address which was literally only about three minutes away and I headed over there.

Here’s the problem: She lives in a new housing complex with a million apartments. Her very detailed map didn’t help me as I get typically become hopelessly lost in similar situations. I drove around and around for a while and couldn’t find the location where the plants were waiting for me at the front door.

As I usually do, I became a bit disoriented when I get lost, and dejected, I drove home. My navigation skills are sorely lacking and I felt incredibly stupid. I messaged her my apologies and reason for not showing up and suggested she choose another person.

Instead of doing that, this woman that I don’t know — a complete stranger — offered to bring the milkweed to me! It was such a kind gesture that it blew my mind.

I gave her my address and she came by a couple hours later with the plants and we had a lovely chat.

With all the horrible news coming out of our nation’s capital, it’s heartwarming and affirming to realize that there are still good people in the world, those who will go out of their way to help a neighbor AND help save butterflies.

Grow Wings of Kindness

“…acts of kindness are iridescent wings of divine love”― Rumi

World Kindness Day

This year’s theme for World Kindness Day is “Be Kind Wherever Possible”, to highlight the significance of kindness to be practiced all over the universe and in each part of our lives.

The motivation behind World Kindness Day is to focus on the positivity and empathy that joins all of us. A crucial part of the human experience, kindness rises above political, racial, religious, gender, and geographical limits.  

One of the themes of the Angels’ bedroom is “kindness” and I’ve hung these quotes on the wall, to persistently, if not also subliminally, get my message across.

I don’t know how many times I’ve had the same conversation with Angel Boy 2.0 about Rumi’s Three Gates, especially regarding his little sister…

Before you speak, let your words pass through three gates
At the first gate, ask yourself, “Is it true?”
At the second gate ask, “Is it necessary?”
At the third gate ask, “Is it kind?”

Best of all, Krispy Kreme is giving donuts away to the first 500, so I better leave now so I can get in line. I could use some of that sort of kindness!

Be kind to ourselves, and be kind to others.

Blink! Is it Magic? 🪄

At one point, Angel Boy 2.0 would often ask me to do something for him; for example, he’d ask me to reach something or make him breakfast or a snack or to play MagnaTiles, anything really, and he would become incredibly impatient if it didn’t happen RIGHT THIS MINUTE.

As an impatient type myself who wants everything RIGHT NOW, I totally understood.

Instead of getting angry or telling him to wait, I started to say, “BLINK.”

It was enough of a distraction the first time I said it that he stopped and said “WHAT?”

I repeated myself, “Blink.” I mean do it, really BLINK YOUR EYES, OK?”

He blinked and looked at me.

I said, “Did anything happen? Am I magic? Do I possess magical abilities?”

He slowly shook his head…nope. (I’m sure he thought his grandma was totally cray, and he might be right, but he was engaged and interested.)

“Well, I wish I could blink my eyes so that what you want would happen in the blink of an eye, and since it obviously did NOT, it’s going to take as long as it takes. What do you think about that?”

He laughed and I did, too.

It must have been the perfect response for him because we’ve continued the tradition.

“BLINK! Did it happen? Nope, not for me either. I’m still not magical, I guess, still only human.”

It was a more fun way to get my point across that he could be a LITTLE more patient. I think I got the idea from watching Bewitched. Although I can’t twitch my nose like Samantha, I can blink my eyes.

Angel Girl recently did the same thing as I mended a torn dress for one of her dolls. Watching me, she kept impatiently repeating, “Are you finished, are you finished, why is it taking you so long?”

“Blink, girl. Blink your eyes. Is your doll all sewn up yet?”

She blinked and shook her head while her brother nodded with all the wisdom of his 7.5 years.

“See”, I held out my hands. ” I’m not magic. These hands of mine can only sew one stitch at a time and if you want me to do a good job, it’s going to take as long as it takes.”

It’s not like I have the powers of Bianca in Wishenpoof, the story about a young fairy girl who grants children’s wishes, although SOMETIMES I do swirl my arms around and say “Whish” like she does in the show, but sadly, I’m still not magical. Not at all.

No matter how many times I blink MY eyes, I’m only human.

It’s all going to take as long as it takes. Lesson learned. 🪄

Random Mitzvah

Do you know what a mitzvah is?

I don’t mean the ultra religious definition of doing something good to fulfill one of 631 commandments and I don’t mean BAR/BAT Mitzvah, (which I never did) but doing a mitzvah has also come to express an individual act of human kindness; a good deed.

Here’s the story. A couple days ago, I had a doctor’s appointment . As I walked to the office, I said hello to two people sitting on the curb out in front. They were a bit older than me but looked frail, and the man was in a walker.

There was a wait for the doctor and I chose to sit outside because no one in the waiting room was wearing a mask (except for me) and there was a lot of coughing AND the door was closed. (Yup, I’m still a mask wearer in crowded placed, even if no one else does.)

While I was standing outside on the sidewalk, I chatted with the couple. They told me they had been waiting an hour in the hot sun (we’re having a heat wave) for their Uber. The woman was on the phone trying to find some way to communicate with the company, which is impossible, by the way.

I felt horrible that these older people were left stranded and told them if they were still there when I was finished with my appointment, I’d drive them home as I learned they didn’t live all that far away from the doctor’s office. In case you thought they could take a bus, that’s not an option. Public transportation is horrible in my area.

I went back in the office and could see that the doc was so backed up, I’d probably be forced to wait at least an hour to see her, so I decided to reschedule my visit to next week.

When I left, I saw those poor people were still waiting, still on the phone, looking pretty stressed out. I told them I’d be more than happy to drive them home, which I did.

They were beyond appreciative and repeatedly offered gas money which I declined. They couldn’t believe a total stranger would help them. The man had cancer, was diabetic, in overall poor health, and his wife wasn’t much better.

How could I not help?

It was such a small thing to do for another human; a mitzvah, a helping hand.

I have so much to be grateful for in my life; it felt nice and right to extend a simple and random act of human kindness, not for any reward in this life or the next — for no reason other than I felt like it.

In a similar situation, would you help, too?

Hearts and Gardens

The last week has been heavy with sad and tragic events from around the world. As we leave June and enter another month, let’s lighten the energy with a beautiful quote by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow about planting kindness wherever we can.

“Kind hearts are the gardens, Kind thoughts are the roots, Kind words are the flowers, Kind deeds are the fruits, Take care of your garden And keep out the weeds, Fill it with sunshine, Kind words, and Kind deeds.” — Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

To See the Good

I parked my car (and made sure I knew where it was this time hahahaha). As I was gathering my shopping bags, I overheard a young-ish man with a baby sitting in a shopping cart as he was talking to his significant other.

He asked her if she needed any snacks, sweet or savory, and told her he loved her at least half a dozen times during the short walk to the grocery store, as we were headed in the same direction. The last thing he said was, “We’ll be home soon.”

I gathered from that brief exchange that she was probably pregnant and suffering from first trimester morning sickness. He was genuine, sweet, kind, obviously empathetic and caring.

I grabbed a cart as he stopped to disinfect his; the little girl caught my eye and said, “Hi!” I responded back to her, “Hello, sweetie!” She pointed to my mask (def wearing everywhere as I’m still recovering from pneumonia) and I nodded, “Yes, I’m wearing a mask.”

Her dad reiterated, “Yes, she is wearing a mask, my love.

That’s exactly how I refer to the Angels, so I told him he was a great dad; more dads should be like him. He thanked me and kissed his baby girl. She waved to me and we continued on our individual shopping journeys.

There are still good people in this world and that warms my heart.

Rest in Peace, Thich Nhat Hanh

Today is a sad day; another truly good human has transitioned…

The International Plum Village Community of Engaged Buddhism announced “our beloved teacher Thich Nhat Hanh passed away peacefully at Từ Hiếu Temple in Huế, Vietnam, at 00:00hrs on 22nd January, 2022, at the age of 95.”

In honor of his life of kindness, how about we do this:

Practices to help cultivate self-love and loving-kindness from Sister Dang Nghiem (ordained as Dharma teacher by Thich Nhat Hanh).

From her book ‘Flowers in the Dark’ (Parallax 2021)

Update on Saturday to add this from the Dalai Lama:

“In his peaceful opposition to the Vietnam war, his support for Martin Luther King and most of all his dedication to sharing with others not only how mindfulness and compassion contribute to inner peace, but also how individuals cultivating peace of mind contributes to genuine world peace, Venerable Thich Nhat Hanh lived a truly meaningful life. I have no doubt the best way we can pay tribute to him is to continue his work to promote peace in the world.” https://bit.ly/35dUncV