Category Archives: Being a Mom and Grandma

Enter The Vortex – No Help

Posted on by
Reply

My frustration level is OFF THE CHARTS.

Here’s what I learned today. Since Angel Girl turned four years old, I needed a new car seat. When it arrived, I didn’t have too much trouble assembling it (although it took an HOUR) but I couldn’t figure out how to properly install it next to her brother’s. I didn’t pay much attention when Dad did it.

I read the cryptic instruction booklet and it was like reading hieroglyphics. I watched several YouTube videos and they didn’t help me, either. This isn’t unusual–I’m not very mechanically inclined.

I figured that our friendly police department would surely be able to assist me, so I drove to the local station. This is where the vortex of frustration began…

Guess what? Our police do NOT help to safely install carseats, but they said OTHER grandmas have come in asking for help, too.

The police department referred me to AAA.

AAA also does NOT help to install or make sure they’re installed properly.

AAA referred me to California Highway Patrol which DOES have a program to safely install car seats but they’re booked up through January 2024. That’s no help at all. AT. ALL.

CHP said the Sheriff does it, but they most likely are booked up too. I called to make an appointment, had to leave a message, and no one returned my call.

I even called a neighboring city’s police department and they don’t install car seats either.

After that, I called Children’s Hospital which does have a car seat installation program but it charges FIFTY DOLLARS per car seat!!!

Our local fire department doesn’t assist in installation or inspection to make sure car seats are properly installed.

The final call I made was to Safe Kids Worldwide’s Child Passenger Safety, a nonprofit organization, and there is no tech in my area. Also, no one responded to my email.

I’m exhausted from running around the dead end rabbit hole with my vain attempt to ensure the safety of the Angel Kids.

I eventually tried to install it but noticed there was no anchor with this particular booster-type seat with a back, and it seemed a bit unstable, so I took an anchor strap from the old seat and tried to attach it. I’m not sure if it’s OK but at least it’s not moving around and seems more secure.

And from the manufacturer, I read comments and questions from others who wanted information about no latch/anchor:  “Thank you for your interest in the Turbo Booster 2.0 Highback Booster Seat! Unfortunately, a LATCH system is not offered for this product. We hope this helps! – The Graco Team” Well…it doesn’t really help at all, because why NOT??

Friends have said I should just leave it for Dad to do it again but I wanted to make life easier for all of them when I pick up at the airport. It’s much less stressful to jump in the car and head straight home than to have to sit at the curb and wait for him to hook it up.

This says volumes about lack of community service and safety from the entities that should absolutely care. My very final outreach was a call to the community relations department of our police department to suggest they recommence their former program of assisting/examining installation of car seats. Not surprisingly, I’ve received no return call.

Frustration level? OFF ALL THE CHARTS.

UPDATE: A neighboring city’s sheriff’s office returned my call, I made an appointment for this morning, and their in-house certified car seat tech examined both car seats and gave me a few tips to keep the kids extra secure. It took less than ten minutes–peace of mind = PRICELESS. I’m still concerned that it took so much effort to get it done. I don’t think most people are as tenacious as I am, and if they quit too soon, their children might not be secured properly in an accident.

World Kindness Day

Posted on by
Reply

This year’s theme for World Kindness Day is “Be Kind Wherever Possible”, to highlight the significance of kindness to be practiced all over the universe and in each part of our lives.

The motivation behind World Kindness Day is to focus on the positivity and empathy that joins all of us. A crucial part of the human experience, kindness rises above political, racial, religious, gender, and geographical limits.  

One of the themes of the Angels’ bedroom is “kindness” and I’ve hung these quotes on the wall, to persistently, if not also subliminally, get my message across.

I don’t know how many times I’ve had the same conversation with Angel Boy 2.0 about Rumi’s Three Gates, especially regarding his little sister…

Before you speak, let your words pass through three gates
At the first gate, ask yourself, “Is it true?”
At the second gate ask, “Is it necessary?”
At the third gate ask, “Is it kind?”

Best of all, Krispy Kreme is giving donuts away to the first 500, so I better leave now so I can get in line. I could use some of that sort of kindness!

Be kind to ourselves, and be kind to others.

Adult Regrets | Forever Young

Posted on by
2

I’m not talking about the dark night of the soul burdensome self-condemnation kind of regret, but I was randomly thinking about how sad it is that when we grow up, people stop asking us who we’re going to be for Halloween.

There was always a great deal of excitement around this conversation, “Who are you going to be for Halloween?” or “What are you going to wear?”— whether we dressed as a witch or a ghost or a princess or a superhero or a pirate. It’s a way to step outside of ourselves for a couple of hours, to escape into an innocent fantasy.

Some might claim I’ve never grown up and that’s simply not true. There’s a difference between being childISHly puerile and one-dimensional as opposed to the open-hearted ability to discover and appreciate simple, joyful, childLIKE pleasures in life. That’s a good thing, in my opinion.

For Halloween, I’m never scary. I usually dress like a princess (of course) but next week I’m going to be a ballerina. I hauled out my sewing machine and made a longish sparkly pink tutu with a tulle overlay, reminiscent of Les Sylphides.

I’ll adorn myself with pink ballerina earrings (an unexpected treasure from Goodwill), my toe shoes and a tiara, so I’m really going to be a princess ballerina.

Je ne regrette rien. No regrets. Forever young.

Who are YOU going to be for Halloween?

Green MONSTER

Posted on by
7

Have you ever seen a Green Lynx spider? I hadn’t until this morning when I saw this Godzilla-sized bright green monster watching me through the patio doors.

I took a photo and then calmly moved him to a safer (for him) location. Peucetia viridans, the Green Lynx spider, is bright green and usually found on green plants. That makes sense since he was right next to a young orange tree I have on the deck. It’s the largest North American species in the family Oxyopidae. The body was about and inch in length and the legs were more than THREE inches long. It was HUGE.

Green Lynx spiders are non-poisonous and rarely bite humans but the bite can be painful. Females, when threatened, are known to spit venom from their fangs (up to 8 inches). If venom enters the eye, it may cause irritation.

My DIL is deathly afraid of spiders, more so than anyone I’ve ever known. On a recent visit, my son and I were enjoying a quiet cuppa and some morning chat about the kids when we heard her screaming, I mean like blood-curdling screams, the kind that, if they heard, neighbors would call 911.

My Angel Boy ran up to see what was going on and I followed. Apparently, she had been on a Zoom call in AB 2.0’s bedroom when she noticed a VERY VERY large spider on his bedspread.

After we ushered her to another room so she could calm down and resume her call, we then searched high and low for the offending arachnid and couldn’t find a thing. I thought her screams might have scared him off, but my son said he actually had seen it before scurrying away and it was literally four inches in size.

We needed to keep looking because if there WAS still a spider in the little guy’s room, we needed to find and relocate it before bedtime.

I stripped the sheets off the bed, shook them out, and found nothing. We removed the top mattress and then the box springs and OMG, there it was, trying to make itself as small as possible in the corner of the bed frame. I didn’t have my phone to take a photo but you can trust me that it was one of the biggest spiders I’ve ever seen.

We ushered it into a box, clamped on the lid, and my son took it outside as far away from the house as he could, while I remade the bed and checked to make sure DIL hadn’t had a heart attack from fright.

I wonder what she would have thought of my Green Lynx with those scary, hairy legs watching her through the window?

Reading is EVERYTHING

Posted on by
Reply

“A child who reads will be an adult who thinks.” Unknown

I always have a book with me, my son always has books with him, and I always have books in the car.

Any time I hear, “I’m bored”, my response is “go read a book.” I said this even before he could actually READ, to encourage the good habit.

Later, I’d tell him to pick out all the sight words he’s learned; it, he, she, the, but…and then we built on those skills by sounding out other words phonetically.

I love functional reading too, and often pretend (lie) that I don’t have my glasses on so I can’t see a recipe or directions and ask him to help me out. He takes the bait every single time and that makes me very happy. To be completely accurate, almost every time. There is that one time he brought my reading glasses to me and that kinda sorta called my bluff, but I simply thanked him for finding them and found a better hiding place next time.

Even his Pokemon cards spark reading skills. “I can read this, Grandma” and I honestly didn’t believe him (there were some big words). Of course I didn’t reveal my skepticism and when he read the back of the cards, truly read them, I gave him a giant hug.

Recently, driving home from the airport with everyone in the car, we heard Angel Boy’s voice in the back seat. He had picked up one of the books I leave on the seat and was reading to his sister.

We all looked at each other in wonderment because this hadn’t happened before. Angel Girl was intently listening to the story and we were speechless with the joy of it, as we’re all big readers who know the importance of learning to read.

When the book was finished, we praised his ability and kindness toward his sister, who asked for the story to be read to her again. And he did. It was a win-win for both of them. And us.

Reading is everything.

“Reading is the gateway for children that makes all other learning possible.” – Barack Obama

Blink! Is it Magic? 🪄

Posted on by
Reply

At one point, Angel Boy 2.0 would often ask me to do something for him; for example, he’d ask me to reach something or make him breakfast or a snack or to play MagnaTiles, anything really, and he would become incredibly impatient if it didn’t happen RIGHT THIS MINUTE.

As an impatient type myself who wants everything RIGHT NOW, I totally understood.

Instead of getting angry or telling him to wait, I started to say, “BLINK.”

It was enough of a distraction the first time I said it that he stopped and said “WHAT?”

I repeated myself, “Blink.” I mean do it, really BLINK YOUR EYES, OK?”

He blinked and looked at me.

I said, “Did anything happen? Am I magic? Do I possess magical abilities?”

He slowly shook his head…nope. (I’m sure he thought his grandma was totally cray, and he might be right, but he was engaged and interested.)

“Well, I wish I could blink my eyes so that what you want would happen in the blink of an eye, and since it obviously did NOT, it’s going to take as long as it takes. What do you think about that?”

He laughed and I did, too.

It must have been the perfect response for him because we’ve continued the tradition.

“BLINK! Did it happen? Nope, not for me either. I’m still not magical, I guess, still only human.”

It was a more fun way to get my point across that he could be a LITTLE more patient. I think I got the idea from watching Bewitched. Although I can’t twitch my nose like Samantha, I can blink my eyes.

Angel Girl recently did the same thing as I mended a torn dress for one of her dolls. Watching me, she kept impatiently repeating, “Are you finished, are you finished, why is it taking you so long?”

“Blink, girl. Blink your eyes. Is your doll all sewn up yet?”

She blinked and shook her head while her brother nodded with all the wisdom of his 7.5 years.

“See”, I held out my hands. ” I’m not magic. These hands of mine can only sew one stitch at a time and if you want me to do a good job, it’s going to take as long as it takes.”

It’s not like I have the powers of Bianca in Wishenpoof, the story about a young fairy girl who grants children’s wishes, although SOMETIMES I do swirl my arms around and say “Whish” like she does in the show, but sadly, I’m still not magical. Not at all.

No matter how many times I blink MY eyes, I’m only human.

It’s all going to take as long as it takes. Lesson learned. 🪄

The Hug Store Is ALWAYS Open

Posted on by
2

Out of the mouths of, well, not babes exactly, but out of the mouth of my Angel Boy second grader.

A long time ago, even before there was an Angel Girl, AB and I would hug when we first saw each other and then at various times throughout the day and before bed.

I always asked first, “can I have a hug?” or “would you like a hug” because of course it’s all about body autonomy and if he didn’t feel like being touched, it’s his right to say no. That’s a good lesson for all of us, right?

Then he started to say, “I need a Grandma hug” and my arms would open wide.

When Angel Girl came into the world, she would stretch out HER arms and say, “Hug” and who could ever say no to that? Definitely not me.

Now they both jump into my arms and just about knock me over. I tell them I have two arms so there’s plenty of love for both of them. Yes, there’s a bit of sibling rivalry because AB had me all to himself for almost four years and sharing his grandma has caused some angst. Actually, learning to share anything is an ongoing lesson for him…

Recently, Angel Boy has become a bit more thoughtful about what it means to be his grandma.

He told his sister, “With Grandma, the hug store is always open. Right, Grandma?”

I hugged them both and said, “That’s a really cool way to describe it and you’re one thousand percent correct. Best of all, it doesn’t cost a single penny. My hug store is always open, night or day, 365 days a year.”

After that beautiful moment, I told him we needed to write a story about The Hug Store, and that’s exactly what we’re doing.

There’s an endless ocean of love with these two angel kids. ❤️

Promises to Keep

Posted on by
2

“You said you would and you always keep your promises, right, Grandma?”

“I know I did, and isn’t that exactly what I’m doing? Aren’t we on our way to the special Pokemon card store? Am I keeping my promise?”

He often says that to me, referencing my statements about keeping promises to him or his sister. Or to anyone, really.

“You promised!”

I think it’s important to be honest and if I promise to do something or take them somewhere, I’ll keep my word. If I’m not sure, I say, “I’ll try but I can’t promise.” That way, they’re prepared to accept a different outcome. I don’t want to let them down.

The key to my success is not to promise anything I can’t deliver. With the kids, it’s simple–promises to go to the park or a special store or bake whatever they request (kugel or cinnamon rolls) or play Candyland.

Why is keeping promises important?

Keeping a promise lays the foundation for trust and respect. Trust is vital. When our behavior is consistent, it allows others to build faith and trust in us. Nurturing this behavior in children early in life begins a pattern that leads to reliability and personal integrity. It’s all about responsibility, commitment, and accountability.

Have I ever broken a promise to the kids? So far, the answer is no. Because it means so much to me to be a person they can always trust, who will always be there for them no matter what. As they get older, hopefully I’ll never let them down. They can count on me.

Pinky swear. For real.

Candyland Marathon

Posted on by
Reply

It was a serious deja vu moment for us; me and Angel Boy 2.0 playing endless games of Candyland in the exact same location that MY mom used to play endless games of Candyland with the original Angel Boy.

They played so often — marathon sessions — that the first game pieces wore out and we had to buy a new one. I’m not sure what the actual appeal is of Candyland, as it’s such a simple concept with no reading involved, but it’s incredibly mindful it its simplicity. Maybe that’s the key to brilliance.

After a very early breakfast of fresh pineapple and buckwheat pancakes, we went downstairs to play on the table where we kept the board set up in anticipation of laughter and great conversation.

In the afternoon, we hung out at Dad’s former elementary school playground and looked in all the classrooms that he attended during his six years there. It was a surreal and very happy rush of memories for us, watching his own child on the very same monkey bars he used to climb.

Later, at the end of the day, freshly bathed and having eaten a night snack of applesauce and yogurt, it was back downstairs for the final game before bed.

These are the building blocks of joyful shared experiences that create a lifelong tapestry of love that spans generations.

This is the kind of legacy I’m grateful to be able to share with these precious Angel Kids.

Angel Chat: High Energy and Squishmallows

Posted on by
7

I haven’t done this in a while; here’s a compilation of random high energy Angel chat…read all the way through to learn about Squishies.

“Grandma, watch me brush my hair! Grandma, watch me, no, right now! Looklooklook!”

“Grandma did you put the picture I drew for you on the refrigerator?”

“Mom, I totally freaked Grandma out!”

“Grandma Princess Rosebud, I totally freaked you out, right?”

OMG she really did (and yes, they really call me Grandma Princess Rosebud). We were at the park and seemingly for no reason at all, she took off running and was headed OUT of the playground gate faster than I have EVER seen a four-year-old run. What I didn’t know was that she had spotted Dad and was breaking all land speed records to jump in his arms.

“You almost gave me a heart attack.”

“T, remember how I totally freaked Grandma out?”

As a reminder, this is a verbally precocious four-year-old and she was absolutely astonished at my “freaked out” reaction.

All I know for certain is that I guard those kids’ lives with a fierce laser-focused intensity, and I had no idea why she was running OUT and away, as that had never happened before. The kids stay close to me and I have my eyes on both of them at at all times. Their safety is my number one priority.

“Grandma, how long do I have to hold your hand to cross the street?”

“Until you’re ten, ‘cos that’s when Daddy stopped holding my hand, but if I ever say it’s super important to hold my hand, please agree to do it because it’s my job to keep you both safe, right?”

“Oh, okay.” (Insert teenagerish eye roll.)

“Grandma, look at this Pokemon card. Is it real or fake?” How about this one? How come you always can pick out the fakes?”
“I played chess with my friend.” “Why don’t you play chess Grandma?”

“Grandma, do you know what? You haven’t been very annoying for a few days.” “I just thought I’d tell you that.”

“Well, my little friend, thank you for sharing because now I will work extra hard to be annoying!”

“Grandma, did you send more puzzles? Really hard ones? How many pieces?”
“T, I sent you two Pokemon puzzles, one with 100 pieces and a really hard one with 300 pieces. Do you think you can handle it?”

“Yes, I can handle it, Grandma!”

“DAD, GRANDMA SENT ME A POKEMON PUZZLE WITH 300 PIECES!”

“How about ME, Grandma?”
“Your two puzzles each have 48 pieces, my smart little angel.”
“But that’s not hard enough!”
“When you’ve completed those a few times, we’ll see about moving up to the next level, OK?”

“Grandma, did you send us more Squishmallows?”

“Yes, I absolutely did. Don’t I always?”

Are you dialed in to the Squishmallow craze? You probably are if you’re a mom or grandma. It started a couple years ago when the kids received one of these very soft, very squishy stuffies and the addictive desire for more multiplied. It seems to have become a worldwide phenomenon. I admit I love them too and can’t stop collecting the new releases. If I had to count, I’ve probably bought the kids each about thirty-five, so that equals a grand total of SEVENTY Squishmallows. (Since they MUST have the same ones. I always buy TWO.)

I know, I know, I know it might seem excessive, but that’s what grandmas DO!

I just found these ADORABLE giant Halloween Squishmallows and yes, these will be presented soon…

Some stay here to be loved while others are held on the flight home. I send a new one pretty much every month which is the reason for the question.

They come in smaller sizes too, and brilliantly branched out into other merch — I’ve even gotten Angel Girl Squishmallow socks.

Pineapples, tigers, and dinosaurs, but I really love the enchanting unicorns, don’t you?