An Embarrassment of The Subconscious

…of what? Of a totally insane dream.

I had a dream that seemed to last forever and here are some snippets that I can actually recall.

Leon Russell

For no apparent rhyme or reason, Leon Russell (yes, I know) was showing me a ballet move called développé à la seconde, which I thought was even more remarkable because he was slightly paralyzed from a birth injury on the side that was attempting the move.

I can’t even begin to explain how or why my mind connected the Master of Space and Time to a difficult dance position, but that’s the beauty of the subconscious, I guess. It doesn’t have to make sense.

When I was involved in ballet, this particular move was a struggle for me to master. I often uttered a silent groan when Madame Kaliskis said it was time for développé because I knew she’d eventually make her way over to me at the barre and watch me until I felt my leg was going to fall off. She’d say “encore” which meant I had to do it again and again, and then she’d hold my leg up where it SHOULD be, and my task was to hold it there, but I never could.

Here’s a vid of how it ought to look; sadly, my extensions were never this perfect no matter how much I practiced.

Anyway…

As soon as Leon finished with his (quite nice, better than mine ever were) développé, the dream became all about me.

I was driving from my house to Catalina Island which is not at all possible as it’s about seventy-five nautical miles from my area and can only be reached by boat or air, but there I was, driving along a very narrow path with water on both sides of me, sometimes lapping up ever so slightly over the road, which totally freaked me out. This wasn’t a fun part of the dream as I was in a constant state of anxiety and vigilance so I wouldn’t miss the road and end up in the ocean.

(It’s only about twenty-six miles from the Los Angeles area, and the song by The Four Preps is accurate). https://youtu.be/1I7zMKptjRs?si=AwM3Vdcb5Y9iIzee

I remember taking the ferry back from Catalina Island but not sure what happened to the car that I drove along the non-existent road to get there. On Catalina, visitors can’t bring their own cars; most people use golf carts or bicycles. Only a very limited number of residents and businesses have vehicle permits and there’s a years-long waiting list for them.

Since I used to work for the (now defunct) company that used to go to Catalina Island from San Diego, it’s not too unusual to dream about it, but the more than four hour-long one way trip was often referred to as the “vomit comet” because, well, you can probably figure out WHY, haha.

I didn’t often accompany passengers over there for that reason, and because I generally get seasick. Ick.

After I was safely back on terra firma, my subconscious decided to go on another exploration of past memories and my often dreamed about kitty, Bandit, returned to snuggle with me in bed. She loved freshly washed flannel sheets as much as I do and we kept each other warm. The dream ended far too soon, along with the feeling of being safe and loved by a purring machine. That morning I had changed the sheets to soft, fragrant flannel ones, so THAT part of the dream fused with reality.

Strange dream, right? I can’t even begin to figure out what it all means, but it really wasn’t embarrassing at all because I’m fascinated with the human mind during different sleep states.

Back To The Island is playing in my head, so here’s the Leon connection, and to reiterate, this song was written and composed by Leon Russell, NOTNOTNOT Jimmy Buffet, and of course, Leon does it better.

And a live version with a couple of his children in the band…https://youtu.be/UXuPT-p3xk4?si=y0Bx361ND_jKT-wg

I Had a Dream

It’s a bit unsettling to not be absolutely certain if something is real or a dream, right?

A couple days ago, I went to sleep about 10:30 pm or so. That morning I received my Covid booster and yearly flu vaccine. Because I have a sensitivity to vaccines, I usually get them separately, but this time I opted to try them at the same time just to get it over with.

At some point, my bed started shaking like we were having an earthquake, but I was also dreaming.

I was in the middle of a dream about my mom. I was in my bed and she was in her bedroom and when the earthquake started, she told me not to worry, everything will be OK, and I should stay in bed until it was over.

Since my mom died a long time ago, I guess that part was some sort of a dream, but in real life, the real or imagined earthquake woke me up to reality because at 11:00 pm I woke up/entered another dimension. I checked the earthquake app on my phone and there had been NO earthquake anywhere around here, which was slightly worrisome because whatever it was woke me up.

That’s crazy, right? When we are having an earthquake at night, my bed DOES shake back and forth just like it did in my dream state.

My heart was racing but I wasn’t scared. I kept going over the dream/not dream in my mind because I couldn’t figure it out. I felt what I felt, but if it wasn’t an actual earthquake, what was it?

Earthquakes in lucid dreams can also be a positive symbol reflecting a major shift or movement in our life. These can be personal changes that need the destruction of the old for the new to rebuild.

Houses in dreams are a symbolic representation of the dreamers sense of self. The bed can also be a symbol of what might lay dormant within, as being asleep is opposite to being awake. It might also suggest the symbol of death and rebirth. The bed as an ancient dream symbol has a wide range of interpretations attached to it, connecting the dreamer to intimacy, relationships, and security.

The earthquake part didn’t upset me, but what I couldn’t make sense of is why it felt so real. Maybe the vivid dream was caused by the vaccines?

Later that day, I did experience all the usual side effects that means my immune system is robust and working properly: aches, chills, low grade fever, fatigue, sore arm — so that might have been the reason, but I can’t shake (haha) the real-ness of it all…and how nice it was to see my mom again, no matter how it happened, and to know that she’s still looking out for me.

Lightning, Thunder, and Polar Bear Dreams

I don’t think these are really connected, but they happened on the same night.

The proof we rarely experience thunderstorms is the fact that there was a flurry of social media posts asking the question, “What was that noise?” “Did anybody else hear it?” “It sounded like a boom, am I the only one who heard it?” “Could it be thunder?”

And yes, it was, because I also heard a strange rumbling in the sky and texted my neighbors to ask if they heard it too. They said they were bewildered for a moment and then agreed that it was, indeed, thunder preceded by lightning, and then it started to rain — not a lot, but any skywater is appreciated.

That event certainly generated a lot of excitement in our little beachy town, that’s for sure.

I went to sleep, happy in the knowledge that my veggies and flowers were having a lovely little drink.

I woke up this morning and remembered a WEIRD dream. I always have vivid, detailed dreams, but this one is strange, even for me.

There was a female polar bear wandering around the front of my house, sniffing at plants and the driveway (weirdly specific), making her way toward the side gate. Following right behind her was a nursing cub that didn’t belong to her and she was sort of ignoring it. How did I know it wasn’t her baby? I have no idea, however, I told the mama bear to nurse the little one because it was hungry, and she did. (I’m bossy like that.)

That’s it. That’s the dream.

How random! How bizarre! I live in Southern California, not in Alaska nor anywhere else in the Arctic. A little research revealed that it’s not all that extraordinary to dream about a nursing polar bear. I guess I’m not as unique as I sometimes think I am!

Additionally, I hadn’t been reading or watching anything about polar bears, so this really and truly came out of nowhere but from the deep recesses of my subconscious.

Polar bears are revered in Inuit culture, representing intelligence, resilience, and the ability to survive in the Arctic. They can also be seen as a symbol of one’s inner strength and resourcefulness.

Dreaming about a polar bear nursing its cub can symbolize nurturing, protection, and the ability to overcome challenges, according to dream interpretation resources. In this context, the polar bear represents strength and resilience, while the cub signifies new beginnings and the importance of protecting vulnerable aspects of yourself or your life. 

  • Nurturing and Protection: The mother bear’s act of nursing her cub in a dream often symbolizes your own nurturing and protective instincts. It can also reflect a desire to shield vulnerable aspects of yourself or your life from harm. 
  • Strength and Resilience: Polar bears are powerful animals known for their ability to survive in harsh conditions. In a dream, they can represent your inner strength and the ability to overcome challenges and setbacks. 
  • New Beginnings: The cub represents new life, growth, and the cycle of change. This dream could signal that you are entering a new phase in your life or that you need to embrace change and renewal. 
  • Overprotectiveness: Dreaming about a polar bear nursing its cub can also highlight overprotective tendencies.  

There’s a Bison In My Bed

Picture me as I lay in bed nearly asleep, when a medium-sized bison lumbered into the room and as gently and quietly as he could, placed his two front legs on the bed, and jumped up. He turned around a couple of times to get comfortable and laid down heavily with a grunt — his hairy body almost completely on top of me as he took up most of the bed, which isn’t surprising due to his size. I scratched his head between his curved horns, and we both fell asleep.

That was a dream, not real life lol. What the heck was that all about? I have a vague recollection of other animals in bed with us, but the bison is the one that garnered most of my conscious/unconscious attention.

Bison are known for their strength. Bison are very fast, hard workers, dominant, trustworthy, and protective. Dreaming of a bison could represent one’s inner power.. Dreaming of a big, strong buffalo could symbolize having a protective heart for your loved ones.

AI says that the bison itself often symbolizes abundance, manifestation, and strength, while the bed suggests rest and safety and peace of mind. In this context, the dream might be hinting at the need to embrace abundance, appreciate your resources, and find comfort and security in your life.

Crazy, right? What’s even crazier is that I wasn’t at all surprised to see a bison in the house. Sleeping with me seemed normal, although I’d bet in real life, a two thousand pound bison would probably have broken the bed. But thanks to a magical dream state, the bed was fine.

I guess that’s where my subconscious brain goes when it’s a palindrome day — 5-20-2025 — and according to Alex Myles, this palindrome date holds powerful mirrored energy—a sign of balance, alignment, and divine timing. It is a reminder that everything is coming full circle, and what you have been waiting for is finally starting to fall into place.

This is a day to believe in miracles and trust that the Universe is working behind the scenes to bring you what you need, in ways you never saw coming.

This is a powerful time for balance and reciprocation. What you give out is returning to you. If you’ve been giving love, kindness, time, and support, you’re going to see it come back—maybe through people, opportunities, or quiet moments of joy. This is your reminder to allow yourself to receive. You do not always have to be the strong one, the giver, the fixer. You deserve love and support, too.

This energy also brings a strong sense of harmony. Everything is starting to align: your heart, your path, your goals, and your healing.

I’m not sure how all those vibes brought a bison into my bed, but I’m open to the message — whatever it is!

I See You

I had another lucid dream about my kitty, Bandit. She was seated on the sofa, paws tucked up under her body, and she was simply looking at me.

When she was alive, she would often stare at me, right through to my bones, with such intense love in her eyes that I’d have to stop whatever I was doing and bask in the feeling of being so very loved. SIGH. I surely do miss that girl.

And, there
In the mists of my memory
I see you.
And, there
In the mists of my memory
You shall always be.

A little poem written by Athey Thompson

Rainy Rain Dreams

For the first time in about nine months, it rained, and it rained HARD. So far we’ve had about an inch of rain and the forecast predicts a bit more. There was similar rainfall in Los Angeles which prompted flash-flood and mudslide risks for the wildfire burn scar areas through this afternoon.

Photo by Enchanted Seashells

This deluge reminded me that I had started writing a post about an unsettling, recurring leaky roof dream where bits of the ceiling fall all around me and no amount of buckets can ever stop the catastrophe in my living room, no matter how hard I try.

I had the same exact dream a few days ago. It’s not a pleasant feeling to be powerless to avert a disaster so I did my usual research and learned that it’s a common dream theme.

Potentially, it’s not as dire as I thought. It could mean…

–A heavenly transition of divine blessings. The heavenly waters are descending down, as a cleansing release.

— You will be flooded with relief as blessings rain down upon your life.

— Your dream is an expression of pure giving that represents grace in life and personal growth in prosperity.

— The dream is from a spiritual part of your soul. The rains are a sign of a beautiful future filled with growing abundance; spiritual and material gifts.

— The presence of heavy rain and water in your dreams may symbolize emotional cleansing, a need for spiritual renewal, or the flow of energy and creativity in your life.

On the other hand, a recurring dream about a leaking roof might symbolize a feeling of vulnerability, insecurity, or a sense that something important in your life is falling apart. The leaks represent emotional distress or overwhelming issues that you feel unable to fully address. 

Things to think about…

  • Severity of the leak: A small leak might represent a minor concern, while a large flood could signify a major issue. 
  • Your actions in the dream: If you are actively trying to fix the leak, it could indicate that you are attempting to address the underlying problem in your waking life. 
  • Your emotional state in the dream: Feeling anxious or panicked about the leak can further emphasize the sense of vulnerability. 

I wish I had paid more attention to the other times I had this same dream; I could have kept track of the date and all the other details to figure out if there’s a pattern — I’ve dreamed this same scenario more than a dozen times in the last couple of decades. I know it’s not related to the failure of my actual roof, so it must be psychological or emotional. At least I memorialized it THIS time and will observe any future recurring dreams.

No matter what my dream meant to me personally, the actual sky water made my gardens very happy as they had been parched for such a long time.

Stardust

Image

Full Moon Dreams

Art Marsis

This full moon + lunar eclipse sparked such wild dreams that I’m almost afraid to fall asleep. Has this happened to you?

Last night I dreamed that I was in a large supermarket which is kind of unusual for me because I do most of my real life shopping at Traders and Sprouts. I stood in the checkout line with a shopping cart full of food. When it was my turn to pay, I realized that I didn’t have any money or any credit cards; they had disappeared from my wallet. I was SO embarrassed and had to leave the store. People were watching me in that covert, silently judgmental way.

To make matters worse, I couldn’t locate my car. It’s not that I forgot where it was; my car had been stolen. When I thought about it, I realized that my credit cards had also been stolen, so I called the police, sat on the curb and waited.

That’s when I woke up.

I hate it when I don’t have a satisfactory resolution to my dreams; the feeling of loss and confusion can linger for hours after I wake up. Now I’ll never know who stole my car and credit cards. I’m still there, sitting on the curb, sad and stressed out.

I don’t even want to research the symbolism of that dream; I just want to forget it.

“Thanks, full moon, for a disturbing night’s sleep.”

Because I love to add music to posts, here’s Neil Young’s Harvest Moon:

in a dream

I’ve been having strange dreams again. Apparently the 9/9 portal might be the culprit, or maybe it’s a result of this oppressive heat wave in Southern California, which seems as if it will never end.

The 9/9 Energy Portal is a sacred gateway of powerful energies that invites us to step into a time of profound spiritual growth, completion, and transformation. As the energies of the cosmos align, this portal opens the door to new beginnings, urging us to reflect, release, and renew our inner selves. angelladycrystalsboutique.com

In numerology, the number 9 is the symbol of completion, wisdom, and spiritual enlightenment.

These two dreams were the most intense:

I was waiting in the cell phone lot at the airport for a friend’s arrival when I got a notification that their flight was abruptly diverted to India. It made no sense, but that’s all I remember, except for feeling distraught because there was nothing I could do. Southern California diverted to India? Not to LA or Orange County, but halfway around the world? How odd is that? How random…and I can’t explain how inconsolable and dejected I felt as I had to drive home alone.

In the other dream, it started out OK, because, as I often do in real life, I ran up the steps to the top of my garden at dusk to look for coyotes. (That’s how I actually broke my wrist once upon a time.) However, in the dream, my backyard morphed into a recurring dream location that’s a mountainous hiking trail with a steep ridge. Crazy, but I often dream of this place which is more like Joshua Tree than anywhere else I can recall.

When I got to the top (no coyotes this time) and looked down, I thought I was following the garden trail back home, but the backyard no longer existed as I was now in that recurring dream place.

The sun disappeared completely into a dark and moonless night. It was cold and I realized that I was frightfully lost. I couldn’t find my way home. I started down one wrong trail after another, but there wasn’t any path that took me to a familiar place and my head was spinning with panic.

Still dreaming, I figured the best solution would be to simply stop aimlessly wandering and wait for the morning light as I was becoming more and more agitated. I wanted to go HOME.

That’s when I woke up. It was unsettling to feel so disoriented. I have no idea what it all means, but I thought of that Steve Winwood song, Cant Find My Way Home. I like this acoustic version:

Lion’s Gate’s Portal Is Open: Dynamic Energy on August 8, 2024

Can you feel the energy? Last night’s dream wanderings were absolute lunacy.

One of my dreams was about my mom. I clearly remember she was in the hospital after a minor procedure. I was helping the RNs care for her. (I do that in real life, too.) She wanted to sleep as the anesthesia wore off, so I made her comfortable, closed the shades, and as I walked out the door, there was a lot of noise coming from the next room. It sounded like a party.

A group of youngish men were laughing and playing music. In my most stern voice, I marched into their room told them to be quiet and more respectful of everyone around them. Instead of arguing with me (I wasn’t wearing a uniform or anything), they looked contrite, mumbled their sorries, and immediately lowered the volume.

I chuckled to myself as I thought my mom would be so proud of me. Once upon a time, when she was head nurse at a local hospital, a group of Hell’s Angels were visiting a new mom (one of their members), and were being way too loud and disruptive. It was well after visiting hours and the other nurses were afraid to confront these giant, hairy guys in leather jackets. My (less than five feet tall) mom walked into the room, pointed at them and said, “You’ll leave NOW” , and they did, apologizing to her as they left. Heehee. The moral of the story is not to mess with short people. Especially my mom.

That was the only dream I can fully recollect, but the night was filled with snippets of visions, images, and inchoate yearnings. I woke up and didn’t know where I was for a brief moment or two. I’m always sad when I wake up and realize that my mom isn’t still here. She would have loved to hear about that dream. Or maybe she WAS here in spirit. I like to think that’s true.

I would guess that’s all because on August 8, the Lion’s Gate Portal will reach its full power, bringing the stars together in a cosmic alignment, alive with magic and manifestation.

This year’s annual portal opening is unique because it occurs during a Mercury retrograde, an extra powerful time to redirect our visions, intentions, and manifestations. 

During the Lion’s Gate Portal, we’re given an opportunity to look beyond our current reality. It’s our chance to harness the transformative energy of the stars.

Occurring every year, the Lion’s Gate Portal takes place when the star Sirius aligns with the Sun in Leo, which is believed to be an exceptionally lucky time to fulfill our dreams. This year, Lion’s Gate is from July 28 to August 12.

Numerologically, the number eight represents strength and power. (8/8/2024 = 8:8:8)
This is a heightened cosmic gateway to manifest abundance.

What kinds of dreams would you like to manifest during this Lion’s Gate Portal?

World peace? Love? Good health? Abundance?