Category Archives: All Posts

The Convoluted Logic of Our Mother’s Day Tradition

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depositphotos_5078841-Happy-Mothers-Day-with-Daisy-FlowersIt started with my own mom; she presented ME with gifts on Mother’s Day — thanking me for being her daughter — and any excuse to shop is a good one, right?

I was born on Mother’s Day, so it makes sense to give me lots and lots of presents. Even though it only occurs that way every seven years, it’s still always within the same week.

I enthusiastically carry on the tradition with my son; well, because — uh –if it weren’t for him, I wouldn’t have a reason to celebrate Mother’s Day at all, would I?

As my son would say, “Duh.”

This year I got him an array of products from Kiehls — skin cream, shaving cream, shampoo, and penned a mini-poem:

You have always been my Angel Boy

As your mom

Every day has been filled with joy.

Other girls wanted to be doctors, lawyers, teachers — all I ever wanted to be was a mom.

While all the other mommies are having breakfast or brunch or lunch, I’ll be spending my day driving to the airport to for a Southwest Airlines delivery of my Angel Boy. Can’t wait!

Best of all, he’ll be here all week and that is my best birthday present ever.

Happy Mother’s Day to cat and dog lovers!

crazycatlady

 

happy-mothers-day-bitches

How to Recover a Torn Outdoor Swing Cushion

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If you already read Recycled, Repurposed, Reborn, and Reformed, you won’t be too surprised to learn that I also hate to RE-place torn, ripped, or worn out things.

Last week, I spent a hot day (in the upper eighties) working on a project and I’m pretty happy with the way it turned out.

In the past few years,  I’ve purchased a couple of replacement cushions for the deck swing.

Southern California sun is wickedly harsh on fabric — even though I put the cushions and chairs in the shed when not in use, it weakens, tears, and eventually disintegrates completely like this:

torn cushion

I went to JoAnn Fabrics near 24Hour Fitness in Oceanside and was so happy to discover outdoor canvas material on sale —  half off  the regular price of $19.99 a yard. Yay! I needed approximately 54X70. The sales associates were very helpful and suggested I try fusible bonding web for heavy fabrics and my trusty glue gun for reinforcement areas. Anytime I can fire up that glue gun is a great day! (Also a day for an injury, more on that later.)

cushionrepair

                                            Beautiful bright colors!

The fusible bonding needs heat;  I brought the ironing board and my Rowenta on the deck. Yes, it’s leopard covered. Of course it is.

ironoutsideI ironed a sharp crease on all four sides; went upstairs to my craft room and sewed a lovely seam.

sewing machine

Look at that old sewing machine from the 1970s.
It weighs a ton, but works like a dream.

I placed the cushion flat on the deck, spread the material over the cushion, and then turned it over.

torncushionondeck

Measuring and ironing the fusible bonding all the way around.

stitchless sewing

cushion

The webbed fusible bonding for heavy fabric worked better than I thought. This isn’t the most professional looking job, but the material is bright and fresh and way less expensive than another replacement cushion.

closeupcushion

finalcushion

I used the glue gun to reinforce the corners and this blister was my reward. 

blister

My research indicated that the temperature of the glue is about 385 degrees, but I swear it felt like I had dipped my finger in the bowels of Hell.

I might go back to JoAnns and get more material to redo the awning to match. Although it’s still in good shape, now it bugs me that it doesn’t match the cushion!

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A Mom Knows These Things

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A Generation Fabulous Blog Hop: The Best Thing I Learned From My Mother

Me: “Hey, Mom, guess what?”

Mom: “You’re pregnant.”

Me: “How did you know that’s what I was gonna say?”

Mom: “A mom knows these things.”

MommyThat’s my mom. She was born in 1915 and died in 1989 from pancreatic cancer. She lived with us until the end. I cared for her with the help of a wonderful hospice team.

I was a mid-life baby –born in 1954. She was afraid that I was going to be affected with Downs Syndrome, although they didn’t call it that. At that time, it was  referred to as Mongoloidism, which is no longer in technical use as its considered offensive. They didn’t have genetic testing back then and it scared her that  I was such a good baby, always happy and never cried.

The doctor told her I would make up for it by causing her heartache when I was a teenager, and I did — but that story is for another time…

My mom became a registered nurse at a time when abortions were illegal. She often told me that the horrible things that she saw in the hospital — the aftereffects of a botched backroom abortion — were the reasons she was one thousand percent pro-choice right from the beginning.

“A woman has the right to choose whether or not she wants to have a child.”

That’s something I learned from my mom.

“No man has the right to tell a woman what to do with her body.”

I learned that from my mom, too.

These forward thinking ideas were even more remarkable when you consider that her father — my grandfather — was a Rabbi. My mom was one of seven children. They moved from town to town as my grandfather moved from synagogue to synagogue  — a nomadic life.  Although she was born in Minnesota, my mom spoke with a slight southern drawl because the family spent many years in the south.

They eventually ended up in Detroit. I loved hearing my mom tell the story of climbing onto a city bus and walking to the back along with an African-American girl who had been told to “get to the back of the bus”. The bus driver kicked my mom off for being a troublemaker.

meandmommyObviously, that’s where I got my big mouth. I learned to speak up for those less fortunate — to fight for those that have no voice. I learned to speak up when I see child abuse or animal cruelty. As proud as I was of her, I know she’d be equally as proud of me.

My mom taught me what it meant to be a mother. She abhorred daycare and nannies and was disdainful of mothers who worked. She told me that people shouldn’t have children if they don’t want them and if they can’t take proper care of them.

No stranger would raise HER grandchild.

“A child deserves to have a mom who will selflessly dedicate her life to her child with unconditional love.”

I always knew I would be a stay-at-home-mom — my mom showed me how.

And also thanks to my mom, I wear perfume every day — Chance by Chanel. It’s my signature, even if I’m just going to the gym. I learned that from my mom, too.

“Don’t save perfume for special occasions.” Fragrance can turn rancid and sour smelling. This is what she said when she presented me with my very first bottle of real parfum — Joy by Jean Patou.

“Wear it every day. Wear it for yourself.”

meandmom

My mom and me. I think I had just given birth…not sure where my baby is!

Along with a love for cleaning the house with bleach, collecting seashells and blue glass, my mom passed on the shopping gene.

My passion for the finer things in life are directly related to that first mother-daughter dress, my first pink satin ballet shoes, my first silk blouse, and my first treasured cashmere sweater.

When we enjoyed a bit of retail therapy, Mommy (yes, I called her Mommy) liked to buy me things because she said it made her happy.

Her favorite saying was, “It’s only money.”

That cracks up my tugboat man — although she passed away a few years before we met– he says he’s now paying the price (literally) and carrying on the tradition – under duress. Ha ha ha!

Thank you, Mommy. I miss you so very much.

This is a bloghop!

MORE Old Time Remedies from 1892

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Old Medical BookA beat up edition of The Cottage Physician — published in 1892 — has been around my house forever; I’m not sure where it came from but I’ve always been fascinated reading about diseases and cures.

Every so often, I’ll blow the dust off and share some of the remedies here on Enchanted Seashells. I hope you’ll enjoy it as much as I do.

Except for the Ginger, Arnica, and Yarrow, I can’t recommend actually using these ingredients. I drink ginger tea, cook with fresh ginger — LOVE anything ginger. My Botox doc suggests using arnica for bruising — it has a really high rate of efficacy.  I grow yarrow in my garden but I’ve never actually made a tea with it, but I know people who have.

_________________________________________________________________________

Trask’s Magnetic Ointment
Lard, raisins, fine cut tobacco, each equal parts. rolling-cigarette-and-tobacco
Mix thoroughly.

_________________________________________________________________________

oregano

Oregano

For Pain Relief

Choice Family Liniment
Origanum oil, 2 ounces; aqua ammonia, 1 ounce, opium, ½ ounce, tincture iodine ,1/4 ounce, spike oil (lavender), 1 ounce, alcohol, 1 pint. This has been in constant family use for over fifty years, and is a most excellent remedy for all general purposes, both for man and beast.

Opium poppy

Opium poppy

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Podophyllin

Podophyllin

Carter’s Little Liver Pills
Podophyllin 1 ¼ grains (used to be used to treat genital warts, too), aloes (socotrine) 3 ½ grains, mucilage acacia, sufficient quantity. Mix. Divide into 12 pills, and coat with sugar.

 

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Ginger

Ginger

Ginger, Syrup of
Compound ginger, sliced and bruised, one ounce; angelica root, sliced and bruised, ½ ounce; peppermint, ½ ounce; boiling water, one pint—infuse in a warm place an hour

Angelica

Angelica

Strain it, press off, add sugar, two pounds; simmer and strain. Dose: a tablespoonful when required. It is useful for a pain in the stomach, wind, colic, and the like. (Sounds great, but way too much sugar!)

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Arnica

Arnica

Arnica (Arnica Montana) Leopard’s Bane
A European plant. The flowers alone are used int this country Useful in cuts, bruises and internal injuries. An infusion or decoction of half ounce of the flower to a pint of water is the best preparation for external use. For internal injuries the tincture may be given in five or ten drop doses every two hours.
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Yarrow

Yarrow

Yarrow (Archillea Millefolia)
Stimulant, tonic, promotes the appetite and improves the digestion. Highly recommended for piles, delayed menstruation, leucorrhea, and flatulent colic. Administered in infusion.

________________________________________________________________________

pumpkinseeds2xPumpkin Seeds (Curcurbita Pepo)
A remedy of reputation for expelling tapeworm, and if properly used they rarely fail. The patient should subsist entirely upon the seeds and milk for twenty-four hours. Eat freely and drink a limited quantity of milk to allay thirst, at the expiration of twenty-four hours, take a good dose of castor oil.

Disclaimer: I am not a medical professional. I’m merely sharing anecdotal content from a book I found interesting to read. This post contains general information about medical conditions and treatments. The information is not advice, and should not be treated as such. You must not rely on anything that you read here as an alternative to medical advice from your doctor or other professional healthcare provider.  If you have any specific questions about any medical matter you should consult your doctor or other professional healthcare provider. If you think you may be suffering from any medical condition you should seek immediate medical attention. You should never delay seeking medical advice, disregard medical advice, or discontinue medical treatment because of information on this website.
Credit: This was created using a Contractology template available at http://www.freenetlaw.com.

 

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Old-Time Health Remedies from 1892

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Old Medical BookA beat up edition of The Cottage Physician — published in 1892 — has been around my house forever; I’m not sure where it came from but I’ve always been fascinated reading about diseases and cures.

Every so often, I’ll blow the dust off and share some of the remedies here on Enchanted Seashells, Confessions of a Tugboat Captain’s Wife. I hope you’ll enjoy it as much as I do.

This was pre-antibiotics and I’m not sure how anyone survived any diseases at all back then. There’s also a homeopathic section and a botanical section with some interesting and even terrifying ingredients.

It seems like there was an overwhelming rush to flush the contents of the bowels as a method to rid the body of toxins and also as a cure for many diseases.

“…best known methods of treatment in all diseases, accidents and emergencies of the home prepared by the ablest physicians in the leading schools of medicine, allopathy, homeopathy, etc., etc., by Thomas Faulkner, J.H. Carmichael, assisted by other able physicians and surgeons of America and Europe.”

bistort

Bistort

Sweet-Scented-White-Water-Lily-Castalia-odorata

Female Restorative
Strengthening Syrup
Comfrey root, marshmallow root, poplar bark, bistort root, white pond lily, cloves, and ginger, of each one ounce; water two quarts, boil down to three pints — strain–add loaf sugar, one pound, boil ten minutes and skim, then add French brandy, one pint. Dose: three or four tablespoons three or four times a day; in whites, bearings down, general debility, barrenness, etc. Note: My minimal research revealed that “whites” might mean anything from general female weakness to a discharge.

I think this sounds delicious, don’t you? Especially the French brandy. I can certainly agree that a woman might need a few doses every day for a reeeeeeelllly long time.

Gray Hair
The sedentary, the studious, the debilitated, and the sickly are, with very few exceptions, those who are earliest visited with gray hair. Persons whose employment renders much sitting necessary, and little or no exercise possible, are most likely to have gray hairs.
Treatment: Mix thoroughly a small quantity of sub-nitrate of bismuth with vaseline and brush a small quantity of it into the hair daily.

The entire book can be found online at http://openlibrary.org/books/OL23291374M/The_Cottage_physician

Disclaimer: I am not a medical professional. I’m merely sharing anecdotal content from a book I found interesting to read. This post contains general information about medical conditions and treatments. The information is not advice, and should not be treated as such. You must not rely on anything that you read here as an alternative to medical advice from your doctor or other professional healthcare provider.  If you have any specific questions about any medical matter you should consult your doctor or other professional healthcare provider. If you think you may be suffering from any medical condition you should seek immediate medical attention. You should never delay seeking medical advice, disregard medical advice, or discontinue medical treatment because of information on this website.
Credit: This was created using a Contractology template available at http://www.freenetlaw.com.

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Hiking through the Daley Ranch

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Yesterday we went for a three-hour hike in one of my favorite spots: the Daley Ranch in Escondido. While it was overcast and drizzly near the coast, Escondido is inland where it’s usually always warm and sunny. We took the Sage Trail all the way up to Stanley Peak.

This is an especially lovely time of year with the ceanothus in bloom.  Ceanothus blooms are rich in saponins, which produce lather when rubbed with some water; basically ceanothus flowers make soap. It really works! Try it for yourself! Pick a handful of flowers, add a little water, and rub your hands together.

Ramona Lilac Ceanothus

Ramona lilac ceanothus Lilac ceanothus

As you can see off in the distance, it was a very hazy day near the coast.

Stanley peak

White Lilac Ceanothus

white lilac ceanothus

The Ranch House

Daley Ranch House

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I Fell Down and a Baby Popped Out.

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In that order, but it took a whole day to achieve my life’s greatest accomplishment.

In 1981, March 23 fell on a Monday.

The day before…
 I took my dogs, Beowulf and Sabrina, out for an early morning walk.

My mom was going to come over around noon and take me shopping — see, that’s where I get it from!

It was a full week past my due date and those pesky Braxton Hicks contractions were terrifying me on a daily basis. My mom was the head RN of Women’s Surgical at a local hospital. She thought a bit of retail therapy (see what I mean?) would take my mind off of that discomfort.

At that time, my son’s dad and I lived in an older part of San Diego; Hillcrest. The sidewalks were deteriorated with huge cracks and fissures.

With my big belly full of Angel Boy blocking my view, I tripped and fell — not hard — but with sixty extra pounds on my normally one hundred pound frame, I was more than a little ungainly.

I remember being super embarrassed for anyone to watch my feeble attempts to get up. Luckily, no one was out that early. I leaned on Beowulf (one-hundred-pounds of Akita/Husky/Wolf) who stood about thirty inches at his shoulders, and he was a sturdy support to help me up.

I continued walking home — just a few blocks — and didn’t think much about my fall, but I did tell my mom when she picked me up to go to the mall.

She knew everything there was to know about birthin’ babies.

She reminded me that she had told me a zillion times not to go walking alone this late in pregnancy, but I replied like I always did, “Blah, blah, blah…I’m not listening to a word you say.”

We stopped at a lingerie shop and she bought me a beautiful rosebud sprigged shortie nightgown.

As we were leaving the store, I whispered to her, “Mom, I think I wet my pants.”

(Dumb me, who had read every single book ever written about pregnancy and childbirth, didn’t comprehend what had happened.)

My mom instantly went into what we always called her “nursey” mode.

Quizzing me non-stop about any other symptoms in a very calm voice, we cut short our shopping day (darn) and drove home.

I don’t want to be too gross here; let’s just say other things were leaking out of me, too…

Suddenly, those Braxton Hicks contractions became the real thing.

I called my doctor. It was time.

All during my pregnancy, I had planned to deliver at home, au natural, with my mom as midwife.

Toward the end, it became obvious that my Angel Boy was too big for that to be possible.

I hate hospitals.

I didn’t want that atmosphere to be the first memories implanted in my baby’s precious brain. With reluctance, I agreed that his health was more important than my hippie chick desires, and hubs, mom, and I all went to the hospital.

The doc examined me, concluded that the fall had merely torn the amniotic sac and the potential for introducing bacteria was a concern, so I agreed to let him completely puncture it to speed up the process.

And oh yes, speed it up it did. The mild contractions intensified.

Other than the unrelenting pain, which didn’t respond to that stupid Lamaze class training, I remember my son’s dad watching “Patton” on the wall TV in the birthing room.

I will always hate him for that.

After being in labor all night, my mom and the doc had a consultation.

Apparently, my baby had a head the size of Plymouth Rock and it was stuck.

It just wouldn’t come out.

I was so upset I couldn’t stop crying.

I had failed my first test as a mom.

So…at 9:42 a.m. on Monday, March 23, 1981, I had an emergency Caesarean Section.

I was wide awake and watched it all.

In the end, I guess it didn’t really matter how my Angel Boy got here.

He was beautiful and healthy; 8 1/2 pounds and 21 inches. He scored a 9 on the Apgar Scale; a high achiever from the beginning!

Happy 33rd birthday, Professor Angel Boy!

happyballoons

babyJ
sailorsuitJbatJteddybearJ

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Breaking News: See-Through Yoga Pants From Lululemon

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Listen up, ladies!

Do I hear a WTF? A what-what?

Even in the midst of body conscious Suthern Caly-forn-eye-A, we who aspire to the “forever young” mantra know what yoga pants mean. They mean we don’t have to always think about holding it in, they mean we can EAT, they mean it HIDES imperfections and flaws while we are in pursuit of perfection, they mean we can — for the duration of the wearing of yoga pants –NOT be self-haters or ashamed of our silhouette in the reflection of a shop window.

At least that’s what yoga pants did for me. Until now, that is.

see through yoga pantDid you think that all the attention you were getting at the gym or the grocery store or running errands was because your beauty was shining though and the universe was responding to your inner goodness and wit and intelligence?

WELL…maybe that’s true, but it could also have been this. Lululemon is recalling some of their yoga pants because of a teensy weensy transparency “issue”.

Yup, you can see through ’em.

yogapantrecallYour (and my own) overpriced and overhyped little Lululelmon logo embellished workout wear lets it all hang out for the world to see.

According to a Lululemon company statement, the recall is due to “the coverage… resulting in a level of sheerness in some of our women’s black Luon bottoms that falls short of our very high standards.”

LOL.

The transparent pants, which resulted in a recall of 17% of product, are the fourth quality-control issue that Lululemon has had this year.

For the outrageous price of a Lululemon product, would it be too much to expect that they’re well-made?

Seventy percent of their clothing is manufactured in third-world countries with factories in China, Taiwan, South Korea, South America, Israel, Indonesia, Thailand and Vietnam.

The Lululemon website explains, “Global economic forces…have shifted manufacturing to more cost-attractive locations and resulted in closures of some domestic factories.”

Good times, y’all!

Instead of using the goddess-given benefits of Spandex to crunch and smash together all my cellulite into one hot tight mass of “muscle”, everything I DON’T want the world to see is OUT THERE. I’ve been OUTED.

Hell, even I don’t want to see that cottage cheese on the back of my legs. Now I have to be stressed out that YOU can see it, too?

And what’s worse? My confession? I don’t wear underpants under my workout gear. I hate  panty lines; they just bother me. Now I learn that it’s all on display and I never knew it.

Apparently I’ve been giving it away for free, as my mom would have said. Not only my butt, my cellulite, and my C-section scar, but — oh joy –you can discover whether I’ve had a full Brazilian OR NOT.

i’m ashamed to say that I bought into the hype —which is huge in SoCal — and I’m gonna march myself right on to the Lululemon shop in La Costa at The Forum and hand them back so I can get my $79.00 plus tax put back on my credit card and hippity hop over to Target and buy several new very densely packed yoga/workout pants for about $25.00 each. A much better bargain and my girly parts and cellulite will stay private.

image-via-funnydictionary.com_-300x213I read online about several different girls who attempted to return a pair of pants at Lululemon and were forced to wear them and bend over to show that it was sheer to the employee.

That is so crazy. Crazy, crazy, crazy.  I think you prolly have a very good picture of what would happen if a salesperson insisted I bend over.

CHICK FIGHT CHICK FIGHT CHICK FIGHT! 

Lululemon blames the manufacturere who says in response..”All shipments to Lululemon went through a certification process which Lululemon had approved. All the pants were manufactured according to the requirements set out in the contract with Lululemon,” [Eclat Chief Financial Officer Roger Lo.]

christine Day, CEO LululemonLululemon CEO Christine Day replaced Lululemon founder Chip Wilson in 2007. Before that, she was an executive at Starbucks. She has been criticized for growing the company too fast with a resulting loss of quality.

I don’t want to put the hate on a woman at the helm of anything, but I think women in positions of ultimate power have a tendency to model themselves after males in similar positions and forget the wonderfulness of our gender.

Don’t try to mimic a male; instead, be the best HUMAN you can be.

Heron on House

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We live near a lagoon and some of it is still pristine, offering safe nesting sites for sandpipers and snowy egrets and Great Blue Herons like the one in this picture. I saw him as he flew overhead and landed on our neighbor’s house. He was kind enough to wait there long enough for me to run in the house for my camera.

As I’m typing, I hear the song of a red-tailed hawk circling my yard and off in the distance a rooster crowing. Early Sunday mornings are AWESOME. I hope your day is just as tranquil!
greatblueheron

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Sir Isaac Newton: The Universal Law of Gravitation

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AppleGravity…and other Laws of Nature.

  •  What goes up must come down.
  • The sun rises in the east and sets in the west.
Sextant (source-Wickimedia.org)

Sextant (source-Wickimedia.org)

  • The earth revolves around the sun, which might be true for you and me, however, in my husband’s world of celestial navigation, the SUN revolves around the EARTH. 

That’s right! A paradigm shift! Just for you!

With regard to celestial nav, you would take the opposite view–you see the sun move from left to right–or right to left–depending on one’s perspective.

In order to properly take a celestial sight of the sun, you need to treat the sun as if it were revolving around the earth! (The captain used to teach celestial nav, so if he says it–it’s true.)

My World

And in MY world–as you’ve prolly realized–in this world that revolves around ME,  there are my very own Laws of Nature.

  • Just like the tides ebb and flow, my tugboat man will come and go.
  • As Archimedes‘ Buoyancy Principle is true for water and solids, it’s also a truism that a tugboat man who comes home must go out to sea again.

All the things that were new are now done in reverse.

The welcome home becomes the farewell.

That first apple pie becomes the last apple pie.

veuve clicquotThe first flute of Veuve Clicquot to toast the end of a journey becomes the last glass raised of leave-taking and hopes for a safe voyage.

The hello kiss becomes the goodbye hug, holding tight as long as possible.

It’s that time once again–being the wife of a tugboat captain–one half of a married couple who are apart as often as they’re at the same latitude and longitude.

Sigh…