Category Archives: Beaches, Mostly Carlsbad

Is It Ever Too Late To Make Amends?

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Is it ever too late to say you’re sorry, to make amends, to repair the damage? That’s actually today’s theme but you have to keep reading to figure out where this is all going.

When I see these guys skateboarding together, it hits hard. It fills my heart with joy but it’s also bittersweet to realize that so much time has passed. Tick. Tock.

OG skater dad is his hero right now. The kids had no idea their teacher dad could skate.

Being well-rounded and balanced is important, right?

When the original Angel Boy wanted a skateboard, I weighed the pros and cons (cos it could be dangerous) and decided that it was a way to balance his intense interest in books and school, not that academic success wasn’t critical for his future, but skateboarding helped him feel “cool” and more relatable with schoolmates. It was about the only time his head wasn’t buried in a book.

As far back as elementary school, his nickname had been “the professor”, which was actually, happily, prophetic, but he enjoyed skating so much that we worked hard to get a skatepark built in our city and also created an Explorer Post to be eligible for donations which eventually funded the members on a state-wide skatepark trip, which was EPIC.

There was a skate shop near school where the kids would hang out and that’s where they met some of the famous skaters from SoCal: Danny Way, Hawk (of course), Sal Masekela, and Muska. Angel Boy even named his kitty after Muska.

It was a really nice time to be a kid, before our stupid little town ruined it all by rampant overdevelopment.

Here he is, nicely executing a flip. I can’t count the probably thousands of times this move had been practiced and failed and practiced again until he was proficient. What my mom brain sees in this photo is that he’s not wearing ANY protective gear. It’s a miracle he only ended up with one concussion and a couple of broken bones. No one wore helmets or knee/arm/wrist guards back then. What were we thinking?

The original Angel Boy

During high school, at the height of his interest in skating, we built a half-pipe in the backyard and our house was the cool place to be. I was kept busy supplying the kids with cookies and smoothies. #goodtimes #smothermother

Then there were many inevitable graduations and milestones; a doctorate and post-doc; an empty nest. The skate ramp was silent and began to deteriorate as it was never used nor maintained.

An executive decision was made to have it dismantled because it was in such poor, sad, unsafe shape.

At one point, when AB came home and saw it was gone, he was NOT at all happy. He felt that he hadn’t been included nor consulted in the conversation and not only was it a surprise, but I think it represented the end of a happy chapter in his life.

Actually, over the years I had explained to him a few times that he needed to help maintain it if he still wanted to use it, and like most things I said, he either didn’t listen (or ignored me), but in hindsight I agree that I could have been more sensitive. I guess I didn’t know how much it meant to him. It was an important rite of passage.

But I did something even worse…

I got rid of his skateboard! I didn’t do it with malice, honestly!

One day I was cleaning out the garage and thought it was never again going to be an activity he was interested in so I set it out near the street. I literally had no idea that he would ever want it for any reason; to ride or for the memories of all the fun he had skating OR to share with any future children…

But I was wrong…I was such a bad mom!

During a visit home, he asked for his skateboard because he wanted to show the kids some of his cool moves and when I told him I had put it out in the driveway and someone took it, he was SO ANGRY!

I fully understand that he felt betrayed and I felt horrible about it, especially since I’m known for never throwing anything away. Why that? I have no idea, but I did, I admit it.

I’ve been trying to make amends for the last twenty years. Yup, that was all about twenty years ago.

And now I’m offered the opportunity to make it right.

His clone, AB 2.0, is now obsessed with skateboarding!! He went to a skate camp this summer and got his very first real skateboard. Like all the sports he’s tried, he has some real talent, just like his dad. Watch out, Tony Hawk!

Is there anything more adorable than seeing a little guy all decked out in a helmet and safety gear, positioning himself to drop in? I think not.

Bad pic from a video AB 2.0

In this case, it’s not too late to make amends because I was finally able to replace AB’s sk8board and that feels good.

I did it. I made amends. I bought the skateboard; I made the necessary reparations and repaired the bad mom damage.

Even better, I was able to watch those guys skate together which is such a mom/grandma moment. Heart is bursting with love!

(And hopefully, Dad WILL wear his helmet at all times, or I’ll hear about it when the kids call me to tattle on him.)

Sometimes it’s not too late. All is takes is the honest willingness to want to make things right, even two decades later.

Note To Parents Who Pick Up Their Children From School

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STOP ACTING LIKE ENTITLED A-HOLES!

This afternoon I took out the trash as school was being dismissed (I live near an elementary school), and at the same time, the postman drove up to deliver the mail.

Mostly blocking my driveway was a gigantic SUV which meant the postman literally had to stop in the middle of the street which is where I met him so he wouldn’t have to leave his vehicle.

The SUV’s back gate was open, as well as all the doors, apparently because the parents decided it was a good time to clean out their gas-guzzling monstrosity.

I said to them, “Why don’t you pull up? You’re blocking my driveway and you have plenty of room in front of you.”

The mom (I guess it was the mom) said, “We’re just here to pick up our kids from school”, as if that information was at all relevant or important to me. (Which it was NOT.)

I said, “How is that my concern? You still can’t block anyone’s driveway. Move your car.” (I’m assertive like that.😀)

And so they did. You could tell they thought about arguing with me and/or defying my directive, but the postman was a witness, so they grudgingly pulled up a few feet.

But it begs the bigger question about entitlement, consideration, and basic courtesy. No wonder the kids in my town feel they can recklessly — and without regard for anyone else–ride their stupid ebikes in the middle of the street defying all traffic and safety rules when they have annoying parents like this who feel so narcissistically privileged that they’re entitled to encroach on one’s property and then don the victim cape when they’re told to move. How RUDE!

There’s lots of conversations lately about entitled people. Entitled people believe they are inherently deserving of special treatment without considering others.

For example, why should I, a complete stranger, care one iota about whether they’re picking up their kids from school as if that should somehow ameliorate or excuse the action of blocking MY driveway? Not my kids, not my problem, especially when they could have simply checked before they stopped and pulled up a few more feet. They had plenty of room.

In fact, a vehicle cannot legally park directly in front of or across someone’s driveway in California, as it is a violation of California Vehicle Code 22500. One can contact local parking enforcement or the police department to have the vehicle ticketed and towed at the owner’s expense. 

I have no patience for these types of selfish people who think the world revolves around them in their egocentric illusion balloon. An egocentric illusion refers to the psychological bias where individuals perceive the world, their internal states, and their actions from a self-centered perspective.

I was more than happy to burst that balloon for them. Perhaps they’ll be more considerate in the future, wherever they park, hopefully not here. Maybe I’ll get a sign like this if it happens again.

Photo from Google. Not my house, but same situation.

Stop acting like entitled a-holes and model decent behavior to your children! Is that too much to ask?

Walking Wisdom

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This was chalked into the sidewalk near my lagoon. It’s been there for a while and so far no one has tampered with it, so I decided to memorialize the words in a photo. I don’t know who wrote it, but I would like to meet them, because it’s sad yet profoundly hopeful at the same time.

I am not afraid to keep on living,
I am not afraid to walk this earth (world) alone.

Photo by Enchanted Seashells

Embrace The Shadowy Shoreline in Black + White

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This haunting photo of the ocean is a total mystery. I don’t remember where or when I snapped it, but it’s intense.

Photo by Enchanted Seashells

I can certainly relate. I’m working on the shadowy crevices between total darkness and the love and positivity that shines a light into the murky gloom.

Embrace and make peace with our shadow side with a lot of love and self compassion.

Life Imitates Art

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It’s been an insane couple of days here on Earth, hasn’t it? A lunar occultation, double meteor showers, giant earthquakes, tsunamis — in addition to retrograde Mercury and the Lion’s Gate portal — and we are definitely in the midst of a massive amount of cosmic energy. I’m not sure what it all means, but I’m on high alert, that’s for sure.

There were no earthquakes or tsunami damage around here, but check out this crazy photo! I was in the garden near a brick patio cleaning fallen leaves from the eucalyptus tree. It’s a really annoying job because my stupid city planted the wrong sort of street trees decades ago and not only do eucs make a giant mess, they’re also a fire hazard. I have to constantly pick up the leaves and the incredibly painful-to-bare-feet seed pods (known as gum nuts). No matter how many times neighbors and I lobby the city to get the tree removed, we are always turned down; another stupidstupid city decision.

In and around the bricks and rocks, I had positioned a few random tiles to add some color when a friendly real lizard stopped by for a visit. I’m glad my camera was close by to memorialize the meeting between art and reality.

Does art imitate life or is life imitating art?

Yes, you are beautiful!

You can see some of the offending euc leaves that fell right after I had cleaned up this area. It’s SO annoying!

Photo by Enchanted Seashells
#WordlessWednesday

“Hummingbird, don’t fly away…”

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It’s not often that a hummingbird will be able to stop moving long enough to take a picture that’s not blurry, but yesterday I got lucky. This little one darted from one monkey flower to another and my phone did a pretty good job of capturing her colorful exuberance. The nectar must have been sweet and delicious.

Photo by Enchanted Seashells

“She’s little and I love her too much for words to say.” –Leon Russell

Photo by Enchanted Seashells

The lyrics to Hummingbird, another Leon Russell masterpiece, were swirling around in my head while I was snapping these pics. (This is Set 2 / Live At The Fillmore East/3/27/70 · Leon Russell Mad Dogs & Englishmen)

Zany Zinnia

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Sometimes you never know what’s going to thrive in your garden when seeds are sown, but this year’s zinnias have been spectacular. I’ll save all the seeds and try again since she’s really happy where I planted her near the front door.

This beauty brings so much joy! I especially love her little coronet of yellow flowers.

Photo by Enchanted Seashells

Zinnia is named after Johann Gottfried Zinn, a German botany professor who discovered these plants and brought them back to Europe in the 1700s.

The center of a zinnia is made up of disk florets, which are tiny flowers that form a cluster in the middle. These disc florets are surrounded by larger, petal-like structures called ray florets. 

The circle of yellow florets is where the nectar is located. It’s where bees pollinate as they collect nectar and pollen. The center of the flower will start to grow larger as the seeds start to form. YAY!

Watching The River Flow

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Not exactly a river, but a little rivulet next to the lagoon that seems to have no beginning, goes nowhere, and abruptly ends without a trickle. We haven’t had rain for weeks, months even, so there’s no real explanation for the existence of this body of water.

I can relate to the meandering path of aimless inertia; of stagnant apathy. I guess that’s the feeling for today, likely generated by last night’s powerful full moon energy.

Photo by Enchanted Seashells

And of course because I’m obsessed, I searched for a Leon Russell musical connection. “Watching the River Flow” is a song by Bob Dylan; masterfully produced by Leon Russell. it was written and recorded in March 1971.

As always, I love Leon’s version the best…

Vintage San Diego: Bays, Bars, and Books

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I don’t talk much about the part of Southern California where I live; other than my beach, lagoon, and the stupid local government. I’m about thirty or forty miles or so from the city, and while I don’t often get down there, I do love old pictures that chronicle the history of San Diego far more accurately than words.

Here’s a photo of San Diego Bay taken in 1892 from the vantage point of State Street and Broadway. It all looks calm and free of tourists, exactly how we locals like our life here in SoCal.

San Diego Bay / Photo from Reddit

I always thought the oldest bar in San Diego was the Waterfront, but it’s not, because the Waterfront opened in 1933 when prohibition was repealed, 

The oldest bar in San Diego is the Tivoli Bar, opened as a saloon in 1885. It’s located on a lot originally owned by Alonzo Horton who helped develop most of downtown San Diego.

Tivoli Bar/Curated from SFGate

Built in 1864, the building was first called the Walker House and functioned as a boarding house, feed store, and blacksmith shop. The Walker House was converted into a saloon and kitchen in 1885. The original bar (still there) was built in Boston and brought to San Diego by ship around Cape Horn at the southern tip of South America, a journey which took three to four months.

The original cash register from the turn of the 20th century and the old safe are still displayed in the bar.

The Tivoli Bar has hosted many famous characters including Wyatt Earp and his wife Josephine, whose photos are prominently displayed over the entrance to the bar, along with Frank Sinatra and Sophia Loren.

The bar flourished during a time when San Diego was a boomtown and the Gaslamp was the city’s red light district, an area then known as the Stingaree. A warning sign from the time reads: “This area is known to be populated by anarchists, confidence men, cut throats, shady ladies, hop heads, perverts and thieves.”

Here’s an 1882 crime report from a local newspaper: “About 8 o’clock on Friday evening, a fracas occurred in the Tivoli Saloon between Gus Young and one Ballantine, in which the former was struck over the head with a chair in such a forcible manner that the latter is of no further service, and will have to be sent to a furniture store for repairs.”

I bet there were some wild times inside the Tivoli–if only the walls could talk! It’s a certified dive bar and I can’t believe I’ve never been there. I think it’d be fun to take the train downtown and check it out.

Have you heard of reporter and author Max Miller?

Max Miller was a reporter for the San Diego Sun and author of twenty eight books. In 1932, he wrote I Cover the Waterfront, an interesting account of San Diego’s port community that inspired Hollywood movies and became the title of a jazz standard sung by Billie Holliday, Frank Sinatra, and Sarah Vaughan, but sadly, NOT Leon Russell.

The book’s characters include true-life sea captains, Portuguese fishermen, flying squid, sparkling Garibaldi fish, movie stars, Charles Lindbergh, Babe Ruth, and a beautiful young woman who got away.

Miller also drew from his experiences living in Everett, Washington and when he attended the University of Washington. He also wrote Harbor of the Sun: The Story of the Port of San Diego, which is a fairly difficult book to locate. He died in La Jolla.

Here’s Sarah Vaughan with her 1946 version of I Cover The Waterfront (I couldn’t find a Leon Russell connection this time at all…LOL).


FYI: This is not a post written with the intention to extol any vacation virtues of San Diego. We REALLY have far too many visitors here but I’m sure there are other lovely places to choose for a holiday…

Word of the Day: Yutori

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The concept of yutori speaks to me, especially right now in this scary political climate of gestapo-like kidnappings, Alligator Auschwitz, and a real sense of anticipatory dread.

“Yutori” (ゆとり) is a Japanese concept that broadly translates to spaciousness, room, or breathing room. 

It’s about creating intentional space in one’s life, both physically and mentally, to allow for relaxation, reflection, and a sense of ease. 

This can involve anything from leaving for appointments early to allow for a buffer, to simply taking moments throughout the day to pause and breathe

Yutori aligns with mindfulness practices and encourages a more balanced and less stressful approach to life. For me, that means going outside, watching a magnificent beachy sunset, cleaning the house, thoughtfully organizing a drawer — or my massive seashell collection.

Stay calm and BREATHE!