Russia is front and center in the news these days; I wish men all around the world would stop using violence and bullying to solve their personal issues.
Toska is a Russian word roughly translated as sadness, despair, melancholia, lugubriousness (lugubrious is one of my favorite words); also a dull ache of the the soul, a soul pining, spiritual anguish.
One of my grandfathers was born in Russia and maybe that’s why that emotion resonated with me.
According to Vladimir Nabokov ,“No single word in English renders all the shades of toska. At its deepest and most painful, it is a sensation of great spiritual anguish, often without any specific cause.”
I wonder if it’s similar to anhedonia, the inability to feel pleasure, a common symptom of depression.
I found a spa, restaurant, and other businesses named Toska and wonder if the owners realize that they branded their business with a word that translates to despair…not sure if that’s the message they wish to convey.
Add vegan mayo and/or ketchup and it’s so delicious, trust me!
I continually experiment with different ingredients to try and provide as much nutrition as possible and still taste good.
This is a complete meal for lunch or dinner or even on the go and it’s super easy because this time I used canned beans. Of course, you can always start with dried beans, but I used what I had on hand.
TIPS: *Quantities can be adjusted for your specific needs; I like to make a lot so I can freeze some. *They can be ovenbaked or in a pan on the stove. *Use whatever veggies you like. *I like to cook them until they’re crispy and crunchy on the outside for texture and because they hold together better, also because it makes them easier to pack and freeze. *They’re delicious hot or cold; perfect for a hike or beach day.
This is supposed to be a special day, opening intense portals, but I don’t feel more glamorous or angelic or perceptive, so maybe I’m not aligned properly.
‘2222 PORTAL and 2222 is made up of the energies of number 22, the Master Builder Number that resonates with ancient wisdom, vision, idealism, and transformation”. From Healing Energy Tools.
We also have the energies of the new moon in Aquarius.
Last night I woke up at 2:23 a.m (!) I don’t know if it was a lucid dream or reality, but either way, I heard loud pounding on my side garage door. In that inbetween state before I fully awoke, I counted approximately ten loud booms like someone was kicking at it.
I never again heard that distinctive sound after I was fully and completely awake, heart rate elevated to about 1000, so I guess it was a dream, but how ODD.
If someone was really trying to break in (there have been a lot of robberies around here) it wouldn’t do them any good because that door is thankfully sealed completely shut and can’t be opened at all. Just to be sure, I checked, and everything looks untouched.
Maybe it was someone trying to break through my portal doors?
According to Magical Recipes Online, “Tonight opens the portal of the High Priestess. It’s the second day of the second month of 2022: 2/2/22. This is very intense portal which leads to the wisdom and the inner mysteries of the High Priestess, the one who can channel the Moon! This portal will stay open until 22nd of February; 22/2/22. DO NOT attempt to open doors you are not ready for. Secrets can be liberating but also deadly! Magic is very very intense! TONIGHT, BE READY TO MOVE FORWARD. REMEMBER: DO NOT ‘UNLOCK DOORS’ IF YOU ARE NOT READY.”
Have you ever gone to a store with a purpose, on a mission, like you know exactly what you’re looking for or need, BUT you become sidetracked and MUST HAVE what caught your eye?
Well, that happened to me. I was looking for prezzies for my almost six-year-old. I like to start accumulating stuff way in advance of his March birthday and not wait until the last minute. I put a lot of thought into the gifts I choose; some educational, some for fun, some for artistic craftiness.
Up and down every aisle and there’s really nothing that I/he can’t live without…until I spy a pink butterfly and I’m entranced. When I get closer, I’m hooked. I’m in love. Obviously I’ve forgotten all about my original intention because this beauty was coming home with ME.
It’s a 12×12 pink butterfly pillow and it’s entirely crafted out of beads and sparkles. Oh my. It’s EVERYTHING. It’s gorgeous and sparkly and pink and tactile and PERFECT for my bed, and it’s on sale. It’s obviously not to be used as an actual pillow; it’s decor– it’s princessy and enchanted and beyond precious.
I have no idea why it was discounted 50%, but I l very gently– reverently— carried it in my arms to the register.
The employee said, “Where did you get that? It’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.” I pointed, and she said, “Just a minute, OK?” and ran over to snag the only other one.
“I had to have it”, she whispered, and I nodded. “I know. Sisters.”
What a simply perfect way to start the lovely month of February.
Do you have any idea how much 72 bricks weigh? Me and my sore back can tell you they weigh in excess of 300 pounds. Ouch. But it was worth it; take a look.
Like I was gifted the beautiful dollhouse, I was also given two outdoor chairs and that created a happy dilemma.
Where should they go? Where is the perfect location for these adorable red chairs?
The backyard gardens had plenty of seating so I took a good look at the front yard and found a perfect spot in the corner where two fences meet and create a sort of alcove.
I thought it would be a cute place for the angels to have a tea party.
After giving it a lot of thought, I decided to make a 4 x 4 brick patio. I thriftily repurposed bricks from another garden project that no longer brought me joy.
Thanks to a brick calculator and not my math-challenged brain, it appeared that I would need 72 bricks. I didn’t have that many, so I purchased 20 bricks and a bag of sand. The cost of this entire project was less than $20.
The bag of sand weighed 50 pounds and that’s my absolute lifting limit. I almost tore my arms out of their sockets carrying it from the car. But I did it.
The real work was preparing the location, which was on a slight slope and didn’t easily cooperate. Yes, I used a level but I’m also challenged in that area too, so it didn’t really make sense to me and I gave up after a few frustrating attempts.
As I said to many neighbors that walked by and watched me, I was doing my normal half-assed job. I know there are proper ways to do it right with the level and string and stakes blah blah blah, but I literally didn’t care. I wanted to get it done so I could start to decorate.
I needed to leave that horrible old cactus for two reasons: 1. It’s holding up the fence which somehow separated from the wall. 2. It’s security because no one would even think to try and climb over it.
I went to the nursery and bought a raspberry plant which I anticipate will entwine with the cactus and mask it. I also planted more of my snow peas and their lovely green leaves and pods will create a secret garden atmosphere. In the far corner, I transplanted a fast growing Cup of Gold (Solandra maxima) vine with gigantic yellow flowers.
It took three days to finish, but it’s DONE except for the solar fairy lights that will arrive tomorrow.
As soon as the stores start to carry their spring/summer items, I’ll replace that white table with something else, but it’s OK for now. I definitely need more rocks so that means I need to make a trip to the rock beach.
All in all, if you ignore the uneven bricks, it’s perfect, at least for me!
Weather is a little strange here today. It’s warm but cloudy and the wind picked up, causing the eucalyptus tree to snow its little seed pods everywhere.
There’s a slight ominous feeling, a hold your breath and look around kind of day.
“During the gloaming mother nature holds her breath. She lowers her eyes and there is a eerie stillness much like that in a moment of silent prayer. Night slides over her as her day is done. Everything about her is now secret, hidden in the darkness just begun.”
Ambedo – n. a kind of melancholic trance in which you become completely absorbed in vivid sensory details-raindrops skittering down a window, tall trees leaning in the wind, clouds of cream swirling in your coffee.
Or while you pick weeds under the loquat tree and look up to see sugar peas in a pod backlit by the sun.
The pea plants decided to have a life of their own and the tendrils became entwined in the branches of the tree because I didn’t stake them good enough.
I became lost in time, entranced by the simple green perfection. I l subsequently discovered there’s a word for that: ambedo.
If you saw a fire engine in front of Casa de Enchanted Seashells, it wouldn’t be too surprising because I’ve accidentally almost burned it down a couple of times. Stupid candles…
This time, however, the hook and ladder was here because I spotted smoke off in the distance at the lagoon. There was no way to give dispatch a precise address, so they sent the engine here so the firefighters could see what I had observed and then they’d know where to go.
It turned out that one of the firefighters not only was present at last year’s huge fire a few blocks away, but he knew my son from high school, so we had a lovely chat about that sort of thing.
He taught me how to determine what kind of fire it was by the color of the smoke, which was super interesting. In this case though, they weren’t exactly sure themselves what we were looking at, so they drove away to check it out.
I asked if I could ride along with them, but it wasn’t possible, I’m sorry to say.
I had errands to run and when I returned, the smoke was gone, so I assume whatever it was got resolved. We often have fires from the homeless that live at the lagoon along with hot and dry conditions, ripe for a major incident, so I’m glad I did my civic duty and called.
PS The photo is from yet another fire on the lagoon from a few years ago in pretty much the exact same location as the smoke from yesterday. What I saw was half the size of what’s in the pic, thank goodness.
