Non-Thought: Thought-terminating Clichés Are All Around  

This blog is exactly like my personality: random

One minute I’m searching for seashells or a rock that speaks to my heart or I’m reveling in a designer treasure found at the local consignment shop after a day protesting that orange POS and the fall of democracy, yet at the same time, on any given day, I’m a voracious reader, whether it’s chick lit or poetry or something that catches my eye on social media, all the while obsessing over Leon Russell, Master of Space and Time. There are definitely many tabs open on my laptop screen (and in my head).

Like this…thought-terminating clichés.

How many times have you heard this (or said it)? “Everything happens for a reason.” Did you find it helpful or frustrating? I find it frustrating and not helpful AT ALL. It makes me feel the person I’m talking to either doesn’t care about what I’m saying or is trying to act superior and patronizing.

For me, that attitude completely terminates the conversation. Sometimes I respond with “Does it really? Does everything REALLY happen for a reason?” but mostly I simply stop talking. There’s nowhere to go after that; for me It’s a convo-ender.

A thought-terminating cliché is a common saying or phrase used to shut down further critical thinking or debate about a topic. These phrases often present themselves as universally accepted truths or wisdom, discouraging deeper exploration or questioning. They can be used in various contexts, including conversations, debates, and even within workplaces or religious groups. 

The term was popularized by Robert Jay Lifton in his 1961 book Thought Reform and the Psychology of Totalism, who referred to the use of the cliché, along with “loading the language”, as “the language of non-thought”.

It’s also known as a semantic stop-sign, a thought-stopper, bumper sticker logic, or cliché thinking and is a form of loaded language—often passing as folk wisdom—intended to end an argument and quell cognitive dissonance with a cliché rather than a point. Some such clichés are not inherently terminating, and only becomes so when used to intentionally dismiss, dissent, or justify fallacies.

1. “It is what it is.” Used to dismiss any deeper inquiry into a situation or problem.

2. “You’ll figure it out.” Used to avoid helping or being asked for help. Condescending.

3. “Boys will be boys.” – Used to excuse or dismiss male behavior, often inappropriate or immature.

4. “Let’s agree to disagree.” Used to end a debate without resolving the underlying disagreement.

5. “Everything happens for a reason.” Used to shut down further questioning about why something occurred.

6.””Only time will tell.” Used to avoid making a decision or judgment about a situation.

7. “Such is life.” Used to dismiss the complexities or frustrations of a situation as being typical or unavoidable.

8. “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.”  Used to trivialize suffering or hardship without addressing its impact.

9. “God works in mysterious ways.”  Used to stop questions about religious or moral issues that are difficult to explain.

10. “It’s a free country.” Used to justify questionable actions or opinions without further discussion.

11. “You can’t win them all.” Used to discourage further effort or reflection after a failure or loss.

12. “Better safe than sorry.” Used to justify overly cautious behavior without considering the consequences of inaction.

13. “Everything in moderation.” Used to avoid discussing the nuances or dangers of certain behaviors or choices.

14. “That’s just your opinion.”  Used to dismiss someone’s perspective or argument without considering its merits.

15. “Let’s not rock the boat.” Used to discourage change or questioning of the status quo.

16. “This is the way we’ve always done it.” Used to resist change or new ideas without considering their potential benefits.

17. “Time heals all.” Completely puts a stop to any discussion that isn’t in agreement.

To transform thought-terminating clichés into conversation catalysts, we can create alternative phrases or questions that encourage further exploration and dialogue.

Here are some antidotes, each designed to open up rather than shut down conversations:

  1. Instead of “It is what it is”:  Ask, “What factors have led to this situation, and how can they be addressed?”
  2. Instead of “Boys will be boys”:  Query, “What behaviors are we accepting, and why, and how can we foster more responsible actions?”
  3. Instead of “We agree to disagree”:  Suggest, “Let’s delve into our differing viewpoints to understand each other better.”
  4. Instead of “Everything happens for a reason”:  Pose, “What can we learn from this situation, and how might it influence our future choices?”
  5. Instead of “Only time will tell”:  Consider, “What potential outcomes can we anticipate, and how can we prepare for them?”
  6. Instead of “Such is life”:  Reflect, “How does accepting this situation impact us, and are there aspects we can change or influence?”
  7. Instead of “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger”:  Explore, “What challenges are we facing, and how can we grow or learn from them?”
  8. Instead of “God works in mysterious ways”:  Ask, “How can we find meaning or understanding in this situation?”
  9. Instead of “It’s a free country”:  Discuss, “How do our individual actions impact others, and where do we draw the line between freedom and responsibility?”
  10. Instead of “You can’t win them all”:  Consider, “What can we learn from this loss, and how can it inform our future efforts?”
  11. Instead of “Better safe than sorry”:  Ponder, “What are the risks and benefits of our choices, and how do we balance caution with opportunity?”
  12. Instead of “Everything in moderation”:  Question, “How do we find a healthy balance, and what does moderation look like in this context?”
  13. Instead of “That’s just your opinion”:  Offer, “I appreciate your perspective. Can you share more about how you arrived at this viewpoint?”
  14. Instead of “Let’s not rock the boat”:  Encourage, “What potential benefits and challenges could come from addressing this issue?”
  15. Instead of “This is the way we’ve always done it”:  Propose, “What new methods or ideas could we consider to improve this situation?”

Curated from desireebstephens.substack.com/p/the-power-of-silence-unpacking-thought, Wiki

Embrace The Shadowy Shoreline in Black + White

This haunting photo of the ocean is a total mystery. I don’t remember where or when I snapped it, but it’s intense.

Photo by Enchanted Seashells

I can certainly relate. I’m working on the shadowy crevices between total darkness and the love and positivity that shines a light into the murky gloom.

Embrace and make peace with our shadow side with a lot of love and self compassion.

ChildLIKE / ChildSOUL: Thoughts by Hermann Hesse

There’s a huge difference between being childlike and childISH. I’ve been (wrongly) accused of being childish or of not “growing up” (whatever THAT means) when the truth is that I’ve retained the quality of childlike wonder and joy regarding the world we inhabit — especially when it comes to simple things like a butterfly or a seashell or whales or stargazing or a spectacular beach sunset. At the end of the day, these things are what’s important, at least for me.

Hermann Hesse, poet and author of “Siddhartha”, wrote about this same character trait:

“All children, as long as they still live in the mystery, are continuously occupied in their souls with the only thing that is important, which is themselves and their enigmatic relationship with the world around them.

Seekers and wise people return to these preoccupations as they mature.

Most people, however, forget and leave forever this inner world of the truly significant very early in their lives. Like lost souls they wander about for their entire lives in the multicolored maze of worries, wishes, and goals, none of which dwells in their innermost being and none of which leads them to their innermost core and home.”- Hermann Hesse

We should never ever lose the part of us that points up to the sky and says, “Look at the moon!”

Here’s another point of view; not so sweet, but wild and ferocious…

Art curated on Pinterest. Credit to the owner.

Wetiko: Disease of The Soul

Paul Levy writes: “Wetiko is a virus of the mind that cultivates and feeds on fear and separation.”

I lost a few followers here on WordPress since the US presidential election. I guess some people don’t like my absolute hatred for that orange POS, but it’s never been a secret how I feel about repression and criminal behavior and loss of reproductive rights, oh well…I’m grateful they chose to delete themselves. We are not the same.

Along with the results of the election where the decent candidate, Kamala Harris, conceded her apparent loss, there’s been an uptick in chat about wetiko. I’ve written about it before but now theres a resurgence of interest in anything that could possibly explain the toxic world we inhabit.

Wetiko is a disease of the soul, a parasite of the mind, currently being acted out en masse on the world stage via a collective psychosis of titanic proportions.

This mind-virus-which Native Americans have called “wetiko”-covertly operates through the unconscious blind spots in the human psyche, rendering people oblivious to their own madness and compelling them to act against their own best interests.

Drawing on insights from Jungian psychology, shamanism, alchemy, spiritual wisdom traditions, and personal experience, author Paul Levy shows us that hidden within the venom of wetiko is its own antidote, which once recognized can help us wake up and bring sanity back to our society.

A Tibetan Buddhist practitioner for more than thirty years, he has intimately studied with some of the greatest spiritual masters of Tibet and Burma.

“For millennia, humanity has struggled to understand the manifestation of evil in our world. In this regard Dispelling Wetiko is an extraordinary book, and author Paul Levy has made a great contribution to our understanding of the evil that is happening in our world today, as well as who and what we are.” says Hank Wesselman PhD., anthropologist and author of The Bowl of Light Previously reviewed here: https://enchantedseashells.com/2022/12/15/what-im-reading-the-bowl-of-light/

Wetiko in a Nutshell

by Paul Levy, author of Wetiko: Healing the Mind-Virus That Plagues Our World

A contagious psycho-spiritual disease of the soul is currently being acted out en masse on the world stage via an insidious collective psychosis of titanic proportions. This mind-virus—which Native Americans have called “wetiko”—covertly operates through the unconscious blind spots in the human psyche, rendering people oblivious to their own madness and compelling them to act against their own best interests. Wetiko is a psychosis in the true sense of the word, “a sickness of the spirit.” Wetiko covertly influences our perceptions so as to act itself out through us while simultaneously hiding itself from being seen.

Wetiko bewitches our consciousness so that we become blind to the underlying, assumed viewpoint through which we perceive, conjure up, and give meaning to our experience of both the world and ourselves. This psychic virus can be thought of as the “bug” in “the system” that informs and animates the madness that is playing out in our lives, both individually and collectively, on the world stage.

Before being able to treat this sickness that has infected us all, we have to snap out of our denial, see the disease, acknowledge it, name it, and try to understand how it operates so as to ascertain how to deal with it—this is what my book Wetiko is all about.

The Normalization of Wetiko

A few years ago I ran into a friend whom I hadn’t seen for a while. He asked me what I had been up to. I answered that I was writing about the collective psychosis that our species had fallen into. His response was telling. He asked me what made me think there was a collective psychosis going on. His question left me speechless; I literally didn’t know how to respond. What made him think there wasn’t a collective psychosis going on, I wondered. Could he give me one piece of evidence? Our collective madness had become so normalized that most people—my friend was extremely bright, by the way—didn’t even notice.

Many of us have become conditioned to thinking that if we were in a middle of a collective psychosis it would mean that people would be doing all sorts of “crazy” things such as running around naked and screaming, for instance. This ingrained idea, however, gets in the way of recognizing the very real collective insanity in which all of us are—both passively and actively—participating. If we want to envision what a collective psychosis could actually look like, it might be a real eye-opener to realize it would look exactly like what is happening right now in our world.

What Is Wetiko Really?

Wetiko is a cannibalizing force driven by insatiable greed, appetite without satisfaction, consumption as an end in itself, and war for its own sake, against other tribes, species, and nature, and even against the individual’s own humanity. It is a disease of the soul, and being a disease of the soul, we all potentially have wetiko, as it pervades and “in-forms” the underlying field of consciousness. Any one of us at any moment can fall into our unconscious and unwittingly become an instrument for the evil of wetiko to act itself out through us and incarnate in our world. If we see someone who seems to be taken over by wetiko and we think they have the disease and we don’t, in seeing them as separate we have fallen under the spell of the virus ourselves.

Wetiko induces in us a proclivity to see the source of our own pathology outside of ourselves—existing in “the other.” Wetiko feeds off of polarization and fear—and terror—of “the other.” Seeing the world through a wetiko-inspired lens of separation/otherness enlivens what Jung calls “the God of Terror who dwells in the human soul,” and simultaneously plays itself out both within our soul and in the world at large. Wetiko subversively turns our “genius” for reality-creation against us in such a way that we become bewitched by the projective tendencies of our own mind.

Falling under wetiko’s spell, we become entranced by our own intrinsic gifts and talents for dreaming up our world in a way that not only doesn’t serve us, but rather is put at the service of wetiko (whose agenda is contrary to our own). Our creativity then boomerangs against us such that we hypnotize ourselves with our creative genius, which cripples our evolutionary potential. To the extent we are unconsciously possessed by the spirit of wetiko, it is as if a psychic tapeworm or parasite has taken over our brain and tricked us, its host, into thinking we are feeding and empowering ourselves while we are actually nourishing the parasite (a process which will ultimately kill its host—us).

In wetiko disease, something that is not us surreptitiously, beneath our conscious awareness, takes the place of and plays the role of who we actually are. Shape-shifting so as to cloak itself in our form, this mercurial predator gets under our skin and “puts us on” as a disguise. Miming ourselves, we become a copy, a false duplicate of our true selves. We are then truly playing out a real version of the imposter syndrome.

The Sickness of Exploitation

Wetiko is powerless to control our true nature, but it can control and manipulate this false identity that it sets up within us. When we fall under the sway of wetiko’s illusion, we simultaneously identify with who we are not, while dissociating from and forgetting who we actually are—giving away our power, not to mention ourselves, in the process.

Disconnecting from our own intrinsic agency, we open ourselves to be used, manipulated, and exploited by outside forces. Indigenous author Jack Forbes, who wrote the classic book about wetiko entitled Columbus and Other Cannibals, refers to wetiko as “the sickness of exploitation.” Wetiko can be conceived of as being an evil, cannibalistic, vampiric spirit that inspires people under its sway to take and consume another’s resources and life-force energy solely for their own profit, without giving anything of value back from their own lives. Wetiko thus violates the sacred law of reciprocity in both human affairs and the natural world as a whole.

The main channel of wetiko’s transmission is relational. It exists through our relationships with ourselves, each other, and the world at large. Like a vampire that can’t stand the light of day, the wetiko virus can’t stand to be illumined. However, in seeing how it covertly operates through our own consciousness, we take away its seeming independence, autonomy, and power over us, while at the same time empowering ourselves. The way the vampiric wetiko covertly operates within the human psyche is mirrored by the way it works in the outside world.

Jung never tired of warning us that the greatest danger threatening humanity today is the possibility that millions—even billions— of us can fall into our unconscious together in a collective psychosis, reinforcing each other’s madness in such a way that we become unwittingly complicit in creating our own destruction. When this occurs, humanity finds itself in a situation where we are confronted with—and battered by—the primal, primordial, and elemental forces of our own psyche.

The Internal Origins of Wetiko

The most depraved part of falling under the thrall of wetiko is that, ultimately speaking, it involves the assent of our own free will; no one other than ourselves is ultimately responsible for our situation. There is no objective entity called wetiko that exists outside of ourselves that can steal our soul—the dreamed-up phenomenon of wetiko tricks us into giving it away ourselves.

People under the sway of wetiko are implicated in and willingly subscribe to their own enslavement. They do this to the point that when offered the way out of the comfort of their prison they oftentimes react violently. They symbolically—and sometimes literally—try to kill the messenger who is showing them the path to freedom. Ultimately speaking, in wetiko disease we are not being infected by a physical, objectively existing virus outside of ourselves. Rather, the origin and genesis of the wetiko psychosis is endogenous; its roots are to be found within the human psyche. The fact that wetiko is the expression of something inside of us means that the cure for wetiko is likewise within us.

If we don’t understand that our current world crisis has its roots within and is an expression of the human psyche, we are doomed to unconsciously repeat and continually recreate endless suffering and destruction in increasingly amplified forms, as if we are having a recurring nightmare. In my language, the inner situation within ourselves is getting “dreamed up” into materialized form in, through, and as the world.

In waking life we are continually dreaming right beneath the threshold of consciousness, especially when we are under the influence of our unconscious complexes. In other words, when we are “under the influence” of our activated unconscious, we will unknowingly recreate our very inner landscape via the medium of the outside world. What can be more dreamlike than that?

Recognizing the correlation between the inner and the outer, between the micro and the macro, is the doorway into being able to see wetiko and wake up to the dreamlike nature that wetiko is simultaneously hiding and revealing depending on our point of view and level of awareness. Recognizing the connection between what is happening out in the world with what is taking place within our minds becomes a channel or secret doorway that leads beyond our merely personal psychological issues, empowering us to deal with the essential problem of our time.

To “heal wetiko,” which refers to a concept describing a deep-seated psychological pattern of greed, selfishness, and destructive behavior, according to author Paul Levy, you can focus on practices like increased self-awareness, shadow work, mindfulness, cultivating gratitude, connecting with community, and actively working to counter destructive behaviors by integrating your unconscious aspects and projecting positive intentions into the world; essentially, by consciously choosing compassion and generosity over self-serving actions. 

https://www.innertraditions.com/blog/wetiko-in-a-nutshell

Key aspects of healing wetiko:

  • Recognize and acknowledge wetiko within yourself: Pay attention to your thoughts, emotions, and behaviors where you might be acting out of greed, envy, or a desire to exploit others. 
  • Shadow work: Explore and integrate your shadow aspects, the parts of yourself that you might disown or project onto others. 
  • Mindfulness practice: Regularly practice mindfulness to observe your thoughts and emotions without judgment, allowing you to catch wetiko tendencies early on. 
  • Inner work through therapy or spiritual practices: Seek support from a therapist or engage in spiritual practices that encourage self-reflection and healing. 
  • Cultivate gratitude: Focus on the positive aspects of your life and express gratitude to shift your perspective away from negativity. 
  • Compassion and service to others: Actively seek opportunities to serve others and demonstrate compassion, counteracting the self-centered nature of wetiko. 
  • Community building: Surround yourself with supportive people who share similar values and encourage your growth. 

Shadow and Light

“Anyone who perceives their shadow and light simultaneously sees themselves from two sides and thus gets in the middle.” – Carl Jung

Photo credit Enchanted Seashells

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Eleven Ways to Speak Kindly to Children | Positive Parenting

I think we all need a gentle reminder to speak kindly to our beautiful little ones. These positive and nurturing messages should be repeated over and over again.

A great idea is to print this graphic and post it on the refrigerator. Turn it into a conversation where other encouraging messages can be added to the list to foster self-compassion and self-love.

A Great Mantra for 2024: Don’t Spiral. Evolve!

I love visuals and this speaks to me. Does it resonate with you, too?

I’m not really someone who enacts resolutions for the new year because it seems like the perfect storm for failure and then I’d feel terrible about myself for failing and spiral into shame…BUT I do comprehend the concept of making good choices and not repeating certain ingrained ways of doing life.

This brings me back to my admiration for the theory of neuroplasticity and the works of Dr. Henry Grayson and Rick Hanson, as I’ve written about previously HERE.

Remember: don’t spiral. Evolve!

Graphic found on Pinterest

Feel It

Feel the fear and do it anyway.

Susan Jeffers was a psychologist and best-selling author. Although she died in 2012, her universal messages of love and gratitude continues to touch us, along with her belief that joy, not happiness, is the goal of life.

From her book, Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway:

And what is joy? It is something that expresses the ebullience of the spiritual part of ourselves. Joy is characterized by lightness, humor, laughter, and gaiety. Lighten up. If you have ever been around a person who is centered and enlightened, you are struck with their humor and ability to laugh at themselves. All the brittleness is gone and only fluidity remains.
So commit! Commit yourself to pushing through the fear and becoming more than you are at the present moment. The you that could be is absolutely colossal. You don’t need to change what you are doing— simply commit to learning how to bring to whatever you do in life the loving and powerful energy of your Higher Self.

Shoreline in Black + White | Embrace The Shadows

I have a little shadow that goes in and out with me,
And what can be the use of him is more than I can see. 
--RL Stevenson

This haunting photo of the ocean is a total mystery. I don’t remember where or when I snapped it, but it’s intense.

I can certainly relate. I’m working on the shadowy crevices between total darkness and the love and positivity that shines a light into the murky gloom.

Embrace and make peace with our shadow with a lot of love and self compassion.

Moon Shadow Glow

From selenite to moon glow to reflecting on ways to become improved humans, we can’t forget our shadow side as well as our bright lovelight.

Carl Jung believed that we needed to see, understand, embrace, and accept our shadow side to become a fully integrated and fully functional human.

As much work as that seems to be to self reflect, with the full moon in a few days, I think it might be time to bring home another piece of selenite, don’t you?

For me, a little retail therapy is a bit more enlightening and illuminating than wallowing in sadness and guilt. At least, it’s less painful…

Remember this song by Cat Stevens?
“Moon Shadow”